The Student Room Group

Should I keep texting her

First of all i'm a girl crushing on another girl.
So I met this girl on a vacation (she was our guide) and we actually didn't spoke to each other that much on the vacation since it was a group vacation. Later when i was already home she messaged me. Since that day we've been texting alot (not every day but at least once a week). She even asked me to visit the country where she's currently working
so that we would see each other again. Now the thing is I started to like her but i'm not sure she's into girls. She once told me she liked a guy, but some pictures and texts on her FB say something totally different. So i'm confused. Is she just being friendly?
Reply 1
I think if you meet up with her you should just ask whether she's into girls. If she is then ask her out!
Original post by LostChance
First of all i'm a girl crushing on another girl.
So I met this girl on a vacation (she was our guide) and we actually didn't spoke to each other that much on the vacation since it was a group vacation. Later when i was already home she messaged me. Since that day we've been texting alot (not every day but at least once a week). She even asked me to visit the country where she's currently working
so that we would see each other again. Now the thing is I started to like her but i'm not sure she's into girls. She once told me she liked a guy, but some pictures and texts on her FB say something totally different. So i'm confused. Is she just being friendly?
It does sound like she is. It seems a bit odd to message you a lot and ask you to come and see her if she doesn’t like you.
Reply 3
I would definitely do that but it's kind of hard cause I don't see her that often since we're not living in the same country. Asking over text seems to unpersonal and awkward to me.
Original post by hxfsx953
I think if you meet up with her you should just ask whether she's into girls. If she is then ask her out!
Reply 4
Original post by LostChance
First of all i'm a girl crushing on another girl.
So I met this girl on a vacation (she was our guide) and we actually didn't spoke to each other that much on the vacation since it was a group vacation. Later when i was already home she messaged me. Since that day we've been texting alot (not every day but at least once a week). She even asked me to visit the country where she's currently working
so that we would see each other again. Now the thing is I started to like her but i'm not sure she's into girls. She once told me she liked a guy, but some pictures and texts on her FB say something totally different. So i'm confused. Is she just being friendly?



Instead of staying confused why don't you talk to her generally about sexuality. Meet up with her and talk.
Reply 5
I'll try but i'm kind of a shy person and i don't see her that much!
Original post by mgi
Instead of staying confused why don't you talk to her generally about sexuality. Meet up with her and talk.
Reply 6
Original post by LostChance
I'll try but i'm kind of a shy person and i don't see her that much!

Ok. But you really like her so you will find a way to meet up with her occasionally, right? Why are you shy? It is interesting to try and figure what you are thinking that makes you shy. Then you can start working against those probably negative thoughts!
Reply 7
Yes for sure! We really want to see each other again so... interesting what you say there. I guess i'm scared that telling her will push her away. I really like texting with her and i don't want it to stop. I guess i'm scared / shy cause i don't know how she's going to take it/ react.
Original post by mgi
Ok. But you really like her so you will find a way to meet up with her occasionally, right? Why are you shy? It is interesting to try and figure what you are thinking that makes you shy. Then you can start working against those probably negative thoughts!
Reply 8
Original post by LostChance
Yes for sure! We really want to see each other again so... interesting what you say there. I guess i'm scared that telling her will push her away. I really like texting with her and i don't want it to stop. I guess i'm scared / shy cause i don't know how she's going to take it/ react.


Yes. Interesting but how fortunate you are. You both want to see each other again and you are both getting along fine. But, now you are fearful. But of what? Being rejected? It won't happen if you are open and honest and if you choose the right words: " We seem to get on really well and i am attracted to you but i don't know if you are attracted to me in the same way. I respect you anyway so i hope that you take what i am saying as a compliment in any case!" You have to speak up if you want a relationship. It's just the way things work!
Reply 9
I hope you understand that my fear is coming from the fact that i don't want to lose her as a friend. But it's true i don't want to keep my feelings for myself either. So i guess the only option is telling her when i see her cause over text doesn't seem right for me. Or what do you think about voice message?
Original post by mgi
Yes. Interesting but how fortunate you are. You both want to see each other again and you are both getting along fine. But, now you are fearful. But of what? Being rejected? It won't happen if you are open and honest and if you choose the right words: " We seem to get on really well and i am attracted to you but i don't know if you are attracted to me in the same way. I respect you anyway so i hope that you take what i am saying as a compliment in any case!" You have to speak up if you want a relationship. It's just the way things work!
Reply 10
Original post by LostChance
I hope you understand that my fear is coming from the fact that i don't want to lose her as a friend. But it's true i don't want to keep my feelings for myself either. So i guess the only option is telling her when i see her cause over text doesn't seem right for me. Or what do you think about voice message?

Yes i do understand how you feel but i think if your friend dismisses you for simply admitting that you fancy her then she has then shown you that she wasn't really your friend in the first place. Regarding voicemail-you could do so. But what about calling her -or even better- meet her face to face if possible. If you keep your feelings in you may regret that you never spoke from your heart! I spoke my heart and i am glad i did. Risky but i got a great partner. Go for it!
Reply 11
Perhaps I should have said this sooner but...
Would you give the same advice even if we are just sending for 4 months and a few days. Isn't that too soon? Maybe I should just meet her again first and see how things work out?
Original post by mgi
Yes i do understand how you feel but i think if your friend dismisses you for simply admitting that you fancy her then she has then shown you that she wasn't really your friend in the first place. Regarding voicemail-you could do so. But what about calling her -or even better- meet her face to face if possible. If you keep your feelings in you may regret that you never spoke from your heart! I spoke my heart and i am glad i did. Risky but i got a great partner. Go for it!
Reply 12
Original post by LostChance
Perhaps I should have said this sooner but...
Would you give the same advice even if we are just sending for 4 months and a few days. Isn't that too soon? Maybe I should just meet her again first and see how things work out?

Yes. Absolutely i agree. See if you can develop the relationship by meeting her again. I dont think you have anything to lose!
Reply 13
I Will! Thanks for your advice!! It really helped.
Original post by mgi
Yes. Absolutely i agree. See if you can develop the relationship by meeting her again. I dont think you have anything to lose!
Reply 14
Original post by LostChance
I Will! Thanks for your advice!! It really helped.

No problem. Glad to help!

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