The Student Room Group

What would you do if you found out your significant other liked someone else?

Go on
Dump them and move on.

How about you?
Original post by Mr T 999
Dump them and move on.

How about you?

Back out divine axe rhitta
Original post by Mr T 999
Dump them and move on.

How about you?

I'd first try to understand why they liked someone else in the first place. Was I doing something wrong, etc. And, then break up with them.
Original post by sunny.side.up
Go on

Who is the significant other?
Original post by Lucifer323
Who is the significant other?

Just whoever you're dating at the time.
^ It's just like a 'what if' question
I think I would first figure out what contributed to this and try to talk to her. Since I have heard from many people that it is very difficult for them to go through partings and even more so divorces
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by Andreynaum20
I think I would first figure out what contributed to this and try to talk to her. Since I have heard from many people that it is very difficult for them to go through partings and even more so divorces

If your partner liked someone else, I doubt it'd be difficult to part. :lol:
It depends what you mean by "liked someone else".

If you mean that they actively want to be in a relationship with someone else, then that is an issue and could mean that there is a problem in the relationship with you, or that the relationship is just not what they thought it was. It depends on what stage of the relationship you are at as to what extent you attempt to work on that, but for most relationships at university (where, in the grand scheme of things, relationships cannot have lasted all that long) that may well be the end of it.

If you mean that they are simply attracted to someone else, I would have no issue with that at all. If you only want to be with someone who does not find anyone attractive other than you, I am afraid you are destined either for a single life or unhealthy relationships where your levels of trust and communication are nowhere near where they need to be. You cannot stop people being attracted to other people. It's entirely normal and isn't something that is either blameworthy or shows a betrayal of trust. Indeed, quite the opposite. Despite being attracted to other people, your other half has decided to be with you, and that should give you confidence that they want to be in a relationship with you and not other people. Despite what an awful lot of people on this site seem to think, having feelings and acting on them are two different things. I said in another thread recently that my wife knows of some other women I find attractive that we know, and equally I know of some other guys she finds attractive. Neither of us has the slightest issue with that because, in the real world, it's just a normal thing and doesn't, in and of itself, say anything about the quality of your relationship.
Original post by Crazy Jamie
It depends what you mean by "liked someone else".

If you mean that they actively want to be in a relationship with someone else, then that is an issue and could mean that there is a problem in the relationship with you, or that the relationship is just not what they thought it was. It depends on what stage of the relationship you are at as to what extent you attempt to work on that, but for most relationships at university (where, in the grand scheme of things, relationships cannot have lasted all that long) that may well be the end of it.

If you mean that they are simply attracted to someone else, I would have no issue with that at all. If you only want to be with someone who does not find anyone attractive other than you, I am afraid you are destined either for a single life or unhealthy relationships where your levels of trust and communication are nowhere near where they need to be. You cannot stop people being attracted to other people. It's entirely normal and isn't something that is either blameworthy or shows a betrayal of trust. Indeed, quite the opposite. Despite being attracted to other people, your other half has decided to be with you, and that should give you confidence that they want to be in a relationship with you and not other people. Despite what an awful lot of people on this site seem to think, having feelings and acting on them are two different things. I said in another thread recently that my wife knows of some other women I find attractive that we know, and equally I know of some other guys she finds attractive. Neither of us has the slightest issue with that because, in the real world, it's just a normal thing and doesn't, in and of itself, say anything about the quality of your relationship.

I agree with everything you've said. :yep: It's okay to find other people attractive, but it's all about if you act on that or not.
Reply 11
Original post by sunny.side.up
I'd first try to understand why they liked someone else in the first place. Was I doing something wrong, etc. And, then break up with them.

I would allow them to make a choice of who they wanted but most probably I wouldn't stay with them it hurts to know that they like someone else.
Original post by Joan B
I would allow them to make a choice of who they wanted but most probably I wouldn't stay with them it hurts to know that they like someone else.

But, why would their answer even matter if you'd break up with them? :curious:
Me personally I’d be very upset and hurt. Then I’d find out why they like someone else other than me. Then I’m leaving. ✌🏾
Wby tho
Original post by Heavenly.Ella_
Me personally I’d be very upset and hurt. Then I’d find out why they like someone else other than me. Then I’m leaving. ✌🏾
Wby tho

I would too if we'd been together for a while.
Original post by sunny.side.up
I would too if we'd been together for a while.


We’re on the same page then 😂🙌🏾
Reply 16
Original post by sunny.side.up
But, why would their answer even matter if you'd break up with them? :curious:


It would matter because sometimes we like people but we don't want them in our lives or we don't want them more than friends
Original post by Joan B
It would matter because sometimes we like people but we don't want them in our lives or we don't want them more than friends

I know, but you said you would ask if they wanted you or them, but why would you even ask if you'd dump them anyway?

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