I miss him

He probably still likes you. Either way, you shouldn't care, exes should stay in the past.

But I do care, way too much
He's different from the other guys I've met or been with. I don't want him to be an ex.
I used to be afraid of commitment, was insecure of giving my heart to someone who wouldn't keep it safe forever, but he and I made wedding plans. It was special.

Any idea how to get him back? He wants to be friends last we talked, said he doesn't want a relationship right now.

I'd try messaging him on social media, not for a long conversation, but to be straight up and reveal your intentions. We boys like plain honesty.

But I can't message him on social media, we've blocked each other and the unblocked and then I blocked him and then lost my account and now no contact. Last thing I told him was that i do still love him and I understand that he doesn't want to date right now even if I might not be able to accept it.
I could do honesty right now, he's been playing mind games and "testing" me.

You could create another account and message him from there. Just introduce yourself and tell him why you want to be back with him (don't give him a selfish impression, it's very easy to do that, e.g. "I was happier with you", use words like "we" to emphasise that it's not just for your sake). If he rejects your advances, I'd try to move on (time heals everything at the end of the day). To be honest, for a better chance of getting back with him, I'd wait 6 months after you broke up.

Okay, so i guess I'll just try to work on myself and move on - if I dont in that 6 months since breakup that would make it about nov (my bday month lol), then I'll just assume he's the one and then message him
and if I move on since time heals then so be it.

Thanks for the advice it means a lot. When we did talk some point after the breakup he asked me to message him in september once I'm in uni (since he didn't want me to get caught - my parents are protective about me talking to guys so I have to secretly talk with him and he's already got in trouble along with me because our flirty texts got caught - said he can't take that risk anymore). So should I still wait till november ish or just message him in september? Or like september end, boderline october, so I don't seem needy, but if I've got to be honest, I love him a lot and still miss him crazy

I think the only thing you need to work on is your mindset. It does seem like you dwell on the past and forget the great things the future can bring, I was like this too, I constantly remind myself to forget the past, including the good memories, those times are long gone, it's all about the near future and the next few steps in life. I'd wait till the end of September/early October. I'm assuming this is your first relationship so it's fairly normal to be so strongly attached to someone even after a break-up. Good luck.