Advice on losing your virginity

Hi! I am 18 (female) and as you can probs tell I am still a virgin. I am currently in a bit of a situtionship with a guy and we have been talking abt taking things further. But I am kinda worried I will regret it because (1) we aren't in a relationship and (2) he doesn't know what he wants from this. I have I asked if he wanted the relationship to be purely sex but he said he doesn't know. I wanted to get some advice abt losing it and regrets people have had or things I should avoid. I am not so much worried abt how it will feel the first time but the person I loose it to because it is a big deal for me. I am not sure if I should even make it even this big of a deal and I worry I might be over thinking everything.

Reply 1

username5394810

20

imo, i'd never just have sex with a random person nor someone i haven't married because it needs to be with someone i'm committed with. but many people have different opinions and want diff things which is completely fine and it's ur choice obv but i would say don't do it because it's way too soon but it's obv ur choice like i said

Reply 2

f0unk

10

Original post by gracieee16

imo, i'd never just have sex with a random person nor someone i haven't married because it needs to be with someone i'm committed with. but many people have different opinions and want diff things which is completely fine and it's ur choice obv but i would say don't do it because it's way too soon but it's obv ur choice like i said

ratio

Reply 3

JAckieee.chan

21

Original post by gracieee16

imo, i'd never just have sex with a random person nor someone i haven't married because it needs to be with someone i'm committed with. but many people have different opinions and want diff things which is completely fine and it's ur choice obv but i would say don't do it because it's way too soon but it's obv ur choice like i said

+rep

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by JAckieee.chan

+rep

wdym?

Reply 5

nic0lajane

5

Original post by Anonymous

Hi! I am 18 (female) and as you can probs tell I am still a virgin. I am currently in a bit of a situtionship with a guy and we have been talking abt taking things further. But I am kinda worried I will regret it because (1) we aren't in a relationship and (2) he doesn't know what he wants from this. I have I asked if he wanted the relationship to be purely sex but he said he doesn't know. I wanted to get some advice abt losing it and regrets people have had or things I should avoid. I am not so much worried abt how it will feel the first time but the person I loose it to because it is a big deal for me. I am not sure if I should even make it even this big of a deal and I worry I might be over thinking everything.

Don't loose it to him. Trust me. Afterwards you will feel like u wish u had waited.

Reply 6

NonIndigenous

20

Original post by Anonymous

Hi! I am 18 (female) and as you can probs tell I am still a virgin. I am currently in a bit of a situtionship with a guy and we have been talking abt taking things further. But I am kinda worried I will regret it because (1) we aren't in a relationship and (2) he doesn't know what he wants from this. I have I asked if he wanted the relationship to be purely sex but he said he doesn't know. I wanted to get some advice abt losing it and regrets people have had or things I should avoid. I am not so much worried abt how it will feel the first time but the person I loose it to because it is a big deal for me. I am not sure if I should even make it even this big of a deal and I worry I might be over thinking everything.

1. Ask yourself what are your personal values?

2. Ask yourself if having sex with him is compatible with your personal values?

If not, don't do it.

If you ask yourself the first question and realise that you have no values... then... get some. I won't write an essay about it. If you don't even have a vague concept of what you want in life at some point in the future, or what matters to you, then you'll be running in circles, overthinking, and loosing sleep over decisions like this for the rest of your life.

Unless you're different than most people. Some people loose no sleep over anything they do, or fail to do, and certainly don't think before they act, either. Some people have no values, no conscience or anything else to either motivate them or stop them from doing anything. God knows how these sorts of people function. I haven't quite figured it out, and I'm good at these things, actually. Actually most of them don't function, now that I think of it, and their lives are a wreck behind the scene.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Hi! I am 18 (female) and as you can probs tell I am still a virgin. I am currently in a bit of a situtionship with a guy and we have been talking abt taking things further. But I am kinda worried I will regret it because (1) we aren't in a relationship and (2) he doesn't know what he wants from this. I have I asked if he wanted the relationship to be purely sex but he said he doesn't know. I wanted to get some advice abt losing it and regrets people have had or things I should avoid. I am not so much worried abt how it will feel the first time but the person I loose it to because it is a big deal for me. I am not sure if I should even make it even this big of a deal and I worry I might be over thinking everything.

Don't

Reply 8

Zarek

21

I think it’s best when dating or in a relationship with someone you fancy the pants off. I’d hold out for that for a while

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

same situation but I am the one who doesn’t know how our future will be like so I’ll be doing all the things he wants but lose my virginity to him lol

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

same situation but I am the one who doesn’t know how our future will be like so I’ll be doing all the things he wants but lose my virginity to him lol

tbh I don't even know what I want. I did want a relationship w him at first but I have exams and idk if I can make that kinda commitment anymore. I just know that I like being physical w him but this is a big step for me but I also know he rlly want to take my virginity so idk....??

Reply 11

Joleee

19

if you think losing it is a big deal now i reckon you'll think it's a big deal later. imo wait till he confirms this isn't just all about sex; i mean if it is and you sleep with him and he never calls you again are you going to be fine in that scenario?

Reply 12

londonmyst

19

Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:

Don't allow anyone to pressure or guilt-trip you to agreeing to sex, nobody needs those types of memories and the overpowering regret that accompanies them.

If you don't feel ready to consider having sex or have any doubts- DON'T.
Sexual compatibility is important and so is only choosing when you feel that the time is right & know that you will be able to cope with all the most forseeable consequences of consenting to sex.
Good luck!

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Joleee

if you think losing it is a big deal now i reckon you'll think it's a big deal later. imo wait till he confirms this isn't just all about sex; i mean if it is and you sleep with him and he never calls you again are you going to be fine in that scenario?

well he said he wanted to explore sex together. Ik thats he has been w other girls and all of them were like either one night stands or hookup but he said that we are acc friends and that he wouldn't ghost me ... but at the same time he could be saying this j to get into bed w me.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by nic0lajane

Don't loose it to him. Trust me. Afterwards you will feel like u wish u had waited.

do you rlly think I will wish I had waited??

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

tbh I don't even know what I want. I did want a relationship w him at first but I have exams and idk if I can make that kinda commitment anymore. I just know that I like being physical w him but this is a big step for me but I also know he rlly want to take my virginity so idk....??

don’t feel pressured at all. you don’t owe him anything just because you’re physical with him. I am during a gap year so I can play with him here and there but you’re doing exams at the moment and I would never imagine myself sparing any extra time for someone that I am not sure about.

Reply 16

username5809589

14

You should only consent when you feel ready - never feel pushed towards simply having intercourse because of peer pressure. Me and my partner took 6-7 month before even discussing it.

Reply 17

joeyyyyy.04

6

Original post by Anonymous

Hi! I am 18 (female) and as you can probs tell I am still a virgin. I am currently in a bit of a situtionship with a guy and we have been talking abt taking things further. But I am kinda worried I will regret it because (1) we aren't in a relationship and (2) he doesn't know what he wants from this. I have I asked if he wanted the relationship to be purely sex but he said he doesn't know. I wanted to get some advice abt losing it and regrets people have had or things I should avoid. I am not so much worried abt how it will feel the first time but the person I loose it to because it is a big deal for me. I am not sure if I should even make it even this big of a deal and I worry I might be over thinking everything.

for some people losing their virginity is an important thing and for some its not and they don't mind losing it to whoever. for you it sounds like u really care with who u loose it, and since u don't seem to sure about this guy, i would recommend u don't. it's super up to u and if u feel things change and u want to then go ahead, but if ur writing a tsr thread about it, u probably aren't that sure!

Reply 18

Muttly

20

If in doubt don't - if you mean enough to him he will wait until you are mature enough not to wind your self up with worry and actually want to go ahead through choice. And if that means waiting until you are 50 then that's absolutely for you to choose and no one else (but I think he might not wait that long!) But tough T - thats his problem not yours. Don't do it just because the pals pressure you or you feel your at an age where you should. Besides - there is a whole world out there to go at without sex complicating the issue and worrying about STD's and pregnancy down the line.

Advice on losing your virginity

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