Say you get sexually abused as a kid. What tends to be the effect?

Thanks.

Nope, they don't. I think they know something happened but not exactly what. It shouldn't be an excuse for selfishness really. We shouldn't allow ourselves to excuse bad things, we should try and improve them. Bad things happen to everyone, and I guess we've all got to try and live with it, and be nice to others. I'm just concerned that I seem to be so self destructive and end up severing any potential connection every time I almost get close to someone. And this hurts other people too. So it needs to stop to end my unhappiness and to stop me inflicting pain on others.

I don't think it had a very big effect on me.
I mean, it felt awkward and uncomfortable at the time, but it didn't exactly kill me.

i don't know if i class this as sexual abuse but when i was about 8, this boy who was my parents friends son use to come round my house all the time, he was about 9 or 10, i don't know. my parents thought it was nice that i had someone to play with and they use to just let us play in my room for ages, but he use to touch me all over under my clothes and take off his own and rub against me. i've never ever told anyone this. i'm pretty sure he did it to another girl in my class, i don't know why but i've always had that feeling. i don't know how long this went on, maybe a couple of months. i've been in a steady relationship for 4 years, it hasn't affected that, i can be a bit clingy sometimes. when i was younger though, i lost my virginity at 16 and between then and when i met my now boyfriend at 17 i slept with 5 men. I just went a bit crazy and i think it was down to that, i wanted to me in control and feel like i was using them. it was weird. i regret it now. my boyfriend doesn't know about any of this..i'm embarrassed to tell him and i don't want his pity. in a way i would like to tell him, i dunno. i suppose everyone deals like stuff like this in a different way xx

It's wierd how similar your story seems to be to mine.
Just take it easy, think things through, and if you have a friend that you can speak to about it, whether they be male or female, it's always better to let it out a bit.
I understand that it might, well it WILL, be difficult at first, but once you do it, it's like a breath of fresh air to know someone understands and cares.
Just reading this thread makes me feel a little bit better about my experiences
I was abused by a family friend for a few years.
I kept it bottled for years. I only spoke about it recently and it helped.
Learn to trust a friend with it.
Then learn to trust other people.
And find a boy that's really worth it and trust him with it.
Allow yourself to trust again.
You owe it to yourself.
Good Luck.
I'm sure you'll be fine

wow wow wow. look here, things may have happened to you when you were younger and you I respect you for being brave enough to speak about them.

However, NEVER EVER even set your sights on being a prosititute, no matter what has happened to you before you can better yourself!

Remember, I am guessing your around 15-17 so you have your whole life ahead of yourself, you gotta be stronger and never give in.

In no way are you a screw up, the fact you are here to talk to people openly and understand your own feelings highlights that you are special, not everyone can do what you have done.

I firmly recommend you speak to your parents, after all these are the people that love you most, you may not see it but it will honestly improve matters vastly, just hold your head high and put it down to experience.

Good luck and please talk to us/someone whenever you feel bad.

OP, where is this famo friend now that abused you?

I was sexually abused when I was about eight. I have a whole lorra issues, especially when it comes to relationships. I don't get relationships, and I don't get how the physical stuff can make people feel close. It's completely impersonal for me.

For a long long time I denied that what happened to me had any effect, but I've come to realize I was probably deluded. To what extent do you think it caused my problems? Or am I now using it as a scapegoat for my issues? If I kinda knew that it was that which did it (or at least that it was a big factor), I just think I might find my problems easier to deal with. I dunno if this makes any sense. Thanks for your time.

How would anyone know unless they had been through it? Not really a good question for the interweb (and to be honest the title sounds like trolling or trollbait) That said, group therapy or a counsellor is your best bet by the sounds of it. Nothing beats sympathetic ears or empathetic ones.

According to that book by Nabokov, nothing much and can go on to lead a normal life but the anti-hero ends up banged up for murder, but that was a work of fiction.

Hahahaha. I don't set my sights on being a prostitute. I'm just saying I wouldn't find it particularly horrific, or even bad, like I probably should. As said earlier, I'd feel almost like I'm using them somehow. It's like proving to the world: "look I can have sex with anyone and it doesn't matter to me or hurt me at all. Sex doesn't matter to me! It's my weapon!" And of course, if someone feels the need to prove that, it's complete ********.

I haven't read Lolita. And I expected many people had been through it, as this thread has demonstrated.