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Muslims - would you date a non-Muslim? watch

    • #9
    #9

    I really don't want to have any problems with my family so I'm not going to date a non Muslim but in the past I've been attracted to guys who weren't Muslim.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is this a male? Do you fancy a Muslim girl and your a Christian?
    Nope, I'm female, Christian, just curious as to people's views on the matter for future reference
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    #1

    Just to clarify, by "dating" I mean entering a long-term relationship with marriage being a possibility (although not a requirement)
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    Definitely and I'll explain why - in the mid-80's a Tannzanian/Indian Muslim woman met, befriended, fell in love with and later married a white Scottish athiest man in London, without that happening I wouldn't be here today
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    (Original post by DanB1991)
    So basically dating then with a third wheel? And with a very short timespan until engagement/marriage?

    It's weird thinking how this works for me :laugh: I guess normally it is a person you have already known for a while? Aka family friend or someone from school?
    yh I guess its like a third wheel but for example I'll make my sister come with me and walk behind us by a bit
    not sure about the short tine span. I guess it depends on the person for example my cousin knew this guy 5 years before they were able to get engaged but that's only because it took 5 years for her mum to agree to the marriage. Yh I will only agree to marry someone I know like if I met him at work or uni. Some people have arranged marriages but we don't really have that in our culture. So it depends on the person's culture as well. In Islam as long as the guy is muslim I can marry him it doesn't matter where he's from but many families want someone from the same culture too unfortunately.
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    (Original post by futurejournalist)
    Definitely and I'll explain why - in the mid-80's a Tannzanian/Indian Muslim woman met, befriended, fell in love with and later married a white Scottish athiest man in London, without that happening I wouldn't be here today


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    If your Dad was atheist,why did you become muslim?
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    (Original post by Indeterminate)
    As far as I'm concerned, Religion is all about belief and doing good things. It should not defy common sense.
    Belief - believing in Allah, the Quran and His messenger.

    Doing good things - acting upon what is taught by Allah through the Quran and the teachings of Muhammad (SAW).

    'Common sense' - this can be a subjective determination of what is right and wrong without necessarily actually being correct or right.

    A Muslim believing and doing good things according to what the religion teaches is common sense by my determination, since it is what is approved by Allah, the one from whom we came and the one to whom we will return. To use 'common sense' to defy Allah by saying it's okay to date and marry non-Muslims for boys and girls is contrarily not common sense.
    That said, it is one thing to do a sin and another to say that the sin is okay to commit, as naturally we all sin, but my point stands that 'religion should not defy common sense' since common sense would be to not defy religion in the first place...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    aye sister HAwar are you going to marry a non-muslim? :lolwut:
    Don't be stupid.
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    Belief - believing in Allah, the Quran and His messenger.

    Doing good things - acting upon what is taught by Allah through the Quran and the teachings of Muhammad (SAW).

    'Common sense' - this can be a subjective determination of what is right and wrong without necessarily actually being correct or right.

    A Muslim believing and doing good things according to what the religion teaches is common sense by my determination, since it is what is approved by Allah, the one from whom we came and the one to whom we will return. To use 'common sense' to defy Allah by saying it's okay to date and marry non-Muslims for boys and girls is contrarily not common sense.
    That said, it is one thing to do a sin and another to say that the sin is okay to commit, as naturally we all sin, but my point stands that 'religion should not defy common sense' since common sense would be to not defy religion in the first place...
    Then what do you propose people like myself do? I'm not going to simply abandon my faith. Or should I just remain single and lonely forever...?
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    Belief - believing in Allah, the Quran and His messenger.

    Doing good things - acting upon what is taught by Allah through the Quran and the teachings of Muhammad (SAW).

    'Common sense' - this can be a subjective determination of what is right and wrong without necessarily actually being correct or right.

    A Muslim believing and doing good things according to what the religion teaches is common sense by my determination, since it is what is approved by Allah, the one from whom we came and the one to whom we will return. To use 'common sense' to defy Allah by saying it's okay to date and marry non-Muslims for boys and girls is contrarily not common sense.
    That said, it is one thing to do a sin and another to say that the sin is okay to commit, as naturally we all sin, but my point stands that 'religion should not defy common sense' since common sense would be to not defy religion in the first place...
    So if he wants us to exclude non-muslims from our live like that, then that surely means that he loves them less than us? If that's the case, then why did he create them?

    Sorry, but I'm not having any of that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Then what do you propose people like myself do? I'm not going to simply abandon my faith. Or should I just remain single and lonely forever...?
    As a revert, I lack the ability like yourself to have an arranged marriage, but in addition I don't even socialise with females in person as it's best avoided, so arguably I am in a worse position than you to find someone to marry; do I lose hope though? Nope.

    One can socialise in a halal way, meet people in a halal way, get to know people in a halal way. For example, one can get to know someone through going to the masjid or speaking to people; we have expectations of how meeting someone should be, how getting to know someone should be, how we should be falling head over heels in love before deciding to marry, but with expectations like that whilst having an unwillingness to engage with the halal ways to go about it, what else do you expect but discontentment and an incorrect belief that you will stay single forever if you don't freely socialise and date and this and that? I know you said you don't intend to date the western way but you still can get to know people without dating; you said you haven't found someone you connect with so far, but does that mean that the system is flawed or does it simply mean you haven't found the right guy yet?

    Allah does not make things haraam or mukhrooh (dating, marrying non-Muslims) except that Allah has given us halal alternatives
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    Ngl i have in the past, mainly because muslim girls are not attracted by my look. But in the long term 100%. My parents would probably disown me if shes not muslim.
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    (Original post by Kadak)
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    If your Dad was atheist,why did you become muslim?
    Him and my mum agreed that my older brother and I would be raised Muslim, my brother's now a non-believer but I still have my faith.
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    (Original post by Indeterminate)
    So if he wants us to exclude non-muslims from our live like that, then that surely means that he loves them less than us? If that's the case, then why did he create them?

    Sorry, but I'm not having any of that.
    Lol, teach those who do not know Islam about Islam, be friends with them, talk with them; that does not mean date them (and dating is haram - even other Muslims), and it doesn't mean marry them. Yes, a man can marry a *chaste* Christian or Jewish woman, but that does not mean date them.
    All this said, how many chaste Jews and Christians live here in the West and will willingly marry a Muslim man in a halal way? If you can find one and get to know them in a halal way, there is nothing sinful about it, but if you can't, then anything which breaches these rules is sinful. The Quran and Sunnah outlines these things. If you wish to now reject the Quran and the Sunnah based on your own whims, then you have no right to call yourself Muslim (since you are disbelieving in Islam by doing that); if you wish to accept that is sinful but still do the sin anyway, that just means you committed a sin but you are still a Muslim - this is the decision you have to make.

    As said, there is a difference between saying 'I am willing to commit this sin' and saying 'this is/is not a sin'.
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    No.
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    Why are some Muslims who want marriage saying date yes, marriage no?


    Main point of dates is to see if they could be potential partner?

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    Unless you in it for free dinner?
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    Lol @ forbidden for women to do it but it's fine for men.

    You're cult is such bull****


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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    Lol, teach those who do not know Islam about Islam, be friends with them, talk with them; that does not mean date them (and dating is haram - even other Muslims), and it doesn't mean marry them. Yes, a man can marry a *chaste* Christian or Jewish woman, but that does not mean date them.
    All this said, how many chaste Jews and Christians live here in the West and will willingly marry a Muslim man in a halal way? If you can find one and get to know them in a halal way, there is nothing sinful about it, but if you can't, then anything which breaches these rules is sinful. The Quran and Sunnah outlines these things. If you wish to now reject the Quran and the Sunnah based on your own whims, then you have no right to call yourself Muslim (since you are disbelieving in Islam by doing that); if you wish to accept that is sinful but still do the sin anyway, that just means you committed a sin but you are still a Muslim - this is the decision you have to make.

    As said, there is a difference between saying 'I am willing to commit this sin' and saying 'this is/is not a sin'.
    In that case, I'm okay with you (and other Muslims) thinking that I have no right to call myself a Muslim. This is because the prophet said

    “If a man addresses his brother as, ‘O’ Disbeliever’ (Kaafir) it returns to one of them; either it is as he said or it returns to him.”

    and I can live with that.
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    Lol, teach those who do not know Islam about Islam, be friends with them, talk with them; that does not mean date them (and dating is haram - even other Muslims), and it doesn't mean marry them. Yes, a man can marry a *chaste* Christian or Jewish woman, but that does not mean date them.
    All this said, how many chaste Jews and Christians live here in the West and will willingly marry a Muslim man in a halal way? If you can find one and get to know them in a halal way, there is nothing sinful about it, but if you can't, then anything which breaches these rules is sinful. The Quran and Sunnah outlines these things. If you wish to now reject the Quran and the Sunnah based on your own whims, then you have no right to call yourself Muslim (since you are disbelieving in Islam by doing that); if you wish to accept that is sinful but still do the sin anyway, that just means you committed a sin but you are still a Muslim - this is the decision you have to make.

    As said, there is a difference between saying 'I am willing to commit this sin' and saying 'this is/is not a sin'.
    If Allah is truly merciful and kind, you would think that someone who lives a good and charitable life merely based on who they are as a person and not for fear of going to hell shouldn't be punished for doing trivial things such as dating and eating pork? I find this notion of do completely as I say or go to hell absurd..
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    Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't, depends on so many factors tbh :/
 
 
 
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