Finally Relationship OVER. Watch

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englishrose
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#21
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#21
If you read the thread, you'll see that they were together for nearly 9 months.

Arry Munk has hit the nail right on the head for me. I agree with everything he said. Call me a cynic, but it does sound to me like she's just keeping you close in case she feels lonely any time soon. Some may not like to get "attached", but some girls like the security of having a potential boyfriend there as and when they want him, even though they'd rather stay single.
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tillgii
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#22
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#22
Thanx for all the replies every one. I got a feeling you guys might be right, but I still have some hope in me. Its a bad thing for me, but im risking it.
If I get hurt im sure it wont hurt as much.
As at the moment shes only talking to me on the net and thats now and again.
It would have been our 10months tommorow and for each month I wrote her somthing special with a poem.

This time ive wrote my feelings out and how I feel about everything thats occured since the breakup. Im still want some answers and regarding everything im confused and my mind wont rest fully until I know how a 'spare of the moment decission' become a decission shes sticking to.
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ChemistBoy
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#23
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#23
Move on. All is fair in love. You don't have time to be messed around (no-one does) so continue with your pursuit for happyness elsewhere.

It's your ex's problem and not yours, as see won't let it be, so why worry? Women are generally not 'spur of the moment' when it comes to relationships, but people say stupid things when they are stressed or upset.

It is difficult and you will carry a bit of hope with you for a while, but just take a break for relationships for a while and you will be suprised at what happens, concentrate on making yourself happy for a while.

I know it sounds a bit heartless, but you're young and you don't need to be dragged down in other people's misery when they won't even give you some respect.
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DeLboY
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#24
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#24
(Original post by tillgii)
I met my g/f today after 2 months in person. Day started ****. She wasn’t talking proppa or nothing. Took her to a park, didn’t hardly wanna talk. Couldn’t help asking wat was wrong but I did. Anyway her m8 called while at park. Then after phone call she springs to life and says 'Sorry for being a *****'. I said dont say sorry but tell me why. She said shes scared bout family finding out and lying to them.

Anywya we then go cinema, where i have headaches and she holds my hand and gives me a head massage. Thinking she ok with me, but she refrains from hugging all day apart from 1 hug.

Then go starbucks where she acts down again. So I ask her why again, she first denies it then says im too attached. She asked me why, I told her I dont want to loose her. Then she says we 2 different people, so I ask her what she trying to say. She said nothing but we need to work on things but she loves me and wont leave me.
I asked her if shes attached and she responds with no. SHes never been attached with any 1 and will never be, as she find it a weakness.
Then from no where she said the relationship causing allot of confusion, regarding family arguments, university and its all building up on her. She said by this relationship, lying to every 1, it makes her feel like ****. She feels guilty and while at uni she wont be able to concentrate (although at college she did and I helped her with allot of her revision over the phone).

Anyway then she said first time in her life, that I suufocate her at times. I said why havnt u ever told me this before. She said that she knows how I would react and thought she tell me to the face.

In the end she goes I want u to end it with me as I cant. I said no I cant do that, she goes do it for my happiness. I go no.
In the end she breaks it off.
She walks me to tram station gives me a hug and thats the end.

I come home, after long train delays.
Speak to her on msn, and she said her mum and dad might be having a divorce.
She wants to remain best friends and tell me all her secrets ( her own words), but thats as far as it stands.

Im so confused as her actions today was so mixed, and she admitted she didnt intend to end it to day but I kind of pushed it and we did end it but on neutral groundings.
I didnt question her much, as I was so hurt and confused.
Now all the questions are coming to me, but she doesn’t want to ansa them (I understand as its too soon).

I dunno what she wants, as she seems very confident in her decision. Just some things dont add up. She loves me still, this matter of family didnt effect us propeprly until today and she didnt intend to end it but did as it popped to her head and she ended up going with it.

Sounds like she wanted to end it, but she didnt have the guts to be straight with you.

I asked her if shes attached and she responds with no. SHes never been attached with any 1 and will never be, as she find it a weakness.
She definately doesn't want a relationship mate, not with you anyway. Sounds like she want's to be free and single for uni??

She wants to remain best friends and tell me all her secrets
= she wants to ***** abnout her latest feller to you whenever he treats her bad

I could be wrong, man; I don't know anything about her. That's just how I see it from what you wrote..
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ChemistBoy
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#25
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#25
(Original post by DeLboY)
Sounds like she wanted to end it, but she didnt have the guts to be straight with you.



She definately doesn't want a relationship mate, not with you anyway. Sounds like she want's to be free and single for uni??



= she wants to ***** abnout her latest feller to you whenever he treats her bad

I could be wrong, man; I don't know anything about her. That's just how I see it from what you wrote..
I agree, get out of there man!
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tillgii
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#26
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#26
Man I dunno if its the break up or somthing really wrong, but on the day of the link up I was feeling unwell in the cinema headache.
Its remained with me till today, I can barely eat in a day and just feel down. I think both are combining to mess me up. Im trying to keep myself occupied but before I sleep and in the morning it really eats me up.
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IjustlovetheIB
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#27
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#27
(Original post by DominicS)
no offence mate, but she sounds like one screwed up lass - she may be having problems at home, but it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants, and has used you as an excuse.

As for friends, wouldn't bother - like someone said, its harder to be friends with ex's, and neither of you know the borders etc.

i would just walk away and leave her as an ex
Ditto.
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sparky18
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#28
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#28
I was in a relationship and then my parents split up out of the blue, it totally screwed me up and i ended up breaking up with my then boyfriend. Just be there for her as all you really want when your parents split up is a friend. i don't know why there split made me break up with him but it did she probably doesn't have everything sorted in her head yet but when she wants to tell you she will tell you.
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tillgii
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#29
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#29
Sorry it wasnt her parents that were splitting but bro and sis in law. I misunderstood what she said.
Im completely messed up and it makes no sense.
Although I continuouly think about her and the situation ive managed to calm down and relax more.
I just woke up and first thing in my head was her but it wasnt to an extent that was really paining. I then started having stomach cramps and then plenty of coughing.

I spoke to her yesterday for like 1-2mins, she just said hello, how r u and what I been up to.
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tillgii
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#30
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#30
Yesterday was a better day. Morning was ****** but evening I spoke to her on msn like mates. Made me feel much better.

Today From morning I was lousy. In the afternoon I spoke to her on msn, then I felt a little better and went out with my mates till 11pm. Felt much better. Came home, spoke to her again on msn and feeling good.

I was able to concentrate on other things even knowing ive lost her. I guess I still have hope deep down, but im waiting till Uni starts so she aint in an atmosphere sorrunding by family pressures.
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khil
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#31
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#31
I think you should just accept that she's broken up with you and move on. It's her loss cus you sound like a really nice guy. Move on. You'll kill yourself if you don't. Even if it was just a spur of the moment decision for her, is it really worth it, being with a girl who can just dump you "as it came to her"? It doesn't seem like she values you as much as she should. Personally, I don't think she's worth it. You deserve better.

You've loved her - no one can ever take that away from you. Keep the good memories, and move on there're other good memories waiting to be made with someone else. Cliche, lol, but there is.

:hugs: x millions
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cleas001
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#32
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#32
(Original post by tillgii)
I met my g/f today after 2 months in person. Day started ****. She wasn’t talking proppa or nothing. Took her to a park, didn’t hardly wanna talk. Couldn’t help asking wat was wrong but I did. Anyway her m8 called while at park. Then after phone call she springs to life and says 'Sorry for being a *****'. I said dont say sorry but tell me why. She said shes scared bout family finding out and lying to them.

Anywya we then go cinema, where i have headaches and she holds my hand and gives me a head massage. Thinking she ok with me, but she refrains from hugging all day apart from 1 hug.

Then go starbucks where she acts down again. So I ask her why again, she first denies it then says im too attached. She asked me why, I told her I dont want to loose her. Then she says we 2 different people, so I ask her what she trying to say. She said nothing but we need to work on things but she loves me and wont leave me.
I asked her if shes attached and she responds with no. SHes never been attached with any 1 and will never be, as she find it a weakness.
Then from no where she said the relationship causing allot of confusion, regarding family arguments, university and its all building up on her. She said by this relationship, lying to every 1, it makes her feel like ****. She feels guilty and while at uni she wont be able to concentrate (although at college she did and I helped her with allot of her revision over the phone).

Anyway then she said first time in her life, that I suufocate her at times. I said why havnt u ever told me this before. She said that she knows how I would react and thought she tell me to the face.

In the end she goes I want u to end it with me as I cant. I said no I cant do that, she goes do it for my happiness. I go no.
In the end she breaks it off.
She walks me to tram station gives me a hug and thats the end.

I come home, after long train delays.
Speak to her on msn, and she said her Bro and Sis in Law might be having a divorce an Mum & Dad Arguing.
She wants to remain best friends and tell me all her secrets ( her own words), but thats as far as it stands.

Im so confused as her actions today was so mixed, and she admitted she didnt intend to end it to day but I kind of pushed it and we did end it but on neutral groundings.
I didnt question her much, as I was so hurt and confused.
Now all the questions are coming to me, but she doesn’t want to ansa them (I understand as its too soon).

I dunno what she wants, as she seems very confident in her decision. Just some things dont add up. She loves me still, this matter of family didnt effect us propeprly until today and she didnt intend to end it but did as it popped to her head and she ended up going with it.

no offence but how can she be your girlfriend if you had never met her in person before??
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tillgii
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#33
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#33
ok it seems its a mix up in what ive wrote. What I meant to write is that I only got round to meeting her again after a 2 months of not seeing each other. In 9 Months we met over a number of times though.
Can I just add - At her age she has so many responsibilities - acting like a mum to her real little bro, baby sitting her step bros 3 chidlren and generally her family being dependent on her. She lost her mum only 4 years back so she really values her family.

Ive noticed every time in the past she was at home with family, her family do stress her out and she gets very confused and emotional.

I just feel when shes at Uni she might feel different. She stated on an msn convo that she doesnt want a relationship at the mo. Also she said she it aint fair on me having just a talk on phone relationship.
I know deep down inside shes hurt and confused, but shes always been stubborn and cause of her tough history she can keep quiet even at the most hardest of times.
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Arry_Munk
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#34
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#34
Said what ive gotta say man........

With age you'll realise what im talking about, Youre obviously still a very young kid. Do what youve gotta do. When it goes tits up (which it will do by the sounds of it), make sure you learn from the experience. Bad experiences make you a better, stronger person
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tillgii
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#35
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#35
Guys I do appreciate what your saying and yeah you are all probably right in 1 sense or another, but this heart aint listening. Last 2 days have been good, I think a little and im enjoying myself by going out.

Ive even had a girl call me up and ask me out since it happend which was very desperate of her but made me laugh.

ANyway today I was sleeping till around 1pm and my x calls me and we just had a general chat.
Im sure shes missing me but some times things dont work.
Bottom line is im feeling better and hopefully she will soon.
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tillgii
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#36
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#36
My sleep and appetite has returned and although I think about her allot still im generally not as depressed.
She gave a call just 10mins ago.
She was telling me how she has her uni enrollment tommorow, so I said I betta leave u to go sleep as you got an early start but she ignored what I said and there was a good silence for 30 seconds.
Then her bro came in and after he went I said give me a call tommorow after your enrollment and she was like yeah ill see.

Seems to me shes still fighting it.
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tillgii
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#37
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#37
Monday Night my g/f calls me up as on msn I said I was bored. We spoke for 40mins and then she felt sleepy so went to bed.

Tuesday night I decide to call her and although I keep telling myself and her outloud, I know where not a couple and not gonna get back, I still let the little hope interfear.
I start saying how I know your gonna do well in life ... etc and be all caring.
Then from no where she said she luvs me.
I reply with I luv u2.
After wards I said to her dont worry I know nothings gonna happen but sometimes we just have to say it.

Anyway I go sleep relaxed and all full of hope.

Next day (today) I got my resit result so I texted her like I normally did with my results. She said well done and she proud of me.
Then later this evening she calls me up and she has my other friend (female whso shes become close with) and my guy mate (who she dislikes but started to talk to again recently).
The guy mate is close with me so what ever she would tell him he would tell me.

Anyway we had a 4 way convo on the phone and then the other girl mate went leaving us 3 to talk.
I felt awkard for a while and in the end left.

I then messaged her online telling her ill clal u before u sleep. SHe was like mayb ill see.
I said its your last night before you officialy start uni tommorow so I would like to talk to u.
I called her, she didnt talk much and in the end (15mins of me mainly talking) she said im going to sleep.

Im trying hard to let go slowly but I dunno it dont seem to be working.
Im feeling much better though in terms of sleeping and eating but I just got her on my mind most of the time.

Ive keep thinking theres hope and no matter what any 1 tells me I still will cary on like this even though I know its the wrong approach. Its like a natural instinct.
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willey
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#38
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#38
dude i have been there twice before and my ex girlfriend situation sounds exactly like yours. its harsh, but life goes on and i now have the most amazing girlfriend. it all works out.

picture this, if your ex girlfriend does wana get back with you, im willing to bet that the whole time your with her you will be worrying, "what if she does it again", you will never properly be comfortable with her knowing she has done it before.

Just move on and Live the Dream
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r_raghav11
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#39
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#39
u deserve to be treated better mate. ur a really nice guy and there's only so much u can be nice! alrite so let it go. i know its hard but seriously u deserve to be treated better. I'm sorry for being very blunt but its better to hit the nail on the head.
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Arry_Munk
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#40
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#40
dude your girl is immature and so immature she doesnt realise shes ******** you around. She is so immature blah blah because she doesnt know what she wants. Its a sign shes still immature. Forget her feelings. Shes dragging you down more and more and you dont realise. "i dont know what i want", ignoring you on the phone when SHE phones you and ****........

IMMATURE

zzzzzzzzzzz
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