Ending a Friendship... the best way?

Hi

I've been in a relationship (male/female) with my partner for over 10 years and I am incredibly happy and we are looking to get married. Throughout our relationship there was only one sticking point in that I had a close female friend who was like a sister to me, who she was concerned might be an 'emotional friend' who I told all my secrets to.

I genuinely have never been attracted to the friend (she is a beautiful girl and a lovely person bit really really not my type), but I felt like the insecurities of my partner started to sour the friendship a little - and also I started to have major political differences with the friend which began to torpedo it a little. I feel like it would effect my partners wellbeing whenever I met my friend.

We tried as a couple to spend time with her going out for meals and inviting her around the flat, but it just didn't tackle my partners insecurities as much as I thought it would. I decided to put the friendship on ice and not text her back, but after about 6 months or so she has started texting again - do you think it's best I be frank and tell her the truth or just not text back?

I do have a sneaking suspicion that she may have harboured feelings for me (on reflection after the fact), and think the most adult thing to do is end the friendship in the best way possible, as I am really happy with my partner and she seems happier since i've side-lined the friend a bit.

(edited 10 months ago)

Reply 1

londonmyst

Just be honest with her.

Calmly message the friend for the last time to let her know that you have decided the friendship is over and you do not want to have any further contact with her.
Politely wish her well for the future in the final sentence.
Then stop following her social media accounts, switch your social media to private & remove her access and change your contact info.

But if your partner is the jealous type, she may be habitually hostile towards the majority of your female friends and any woman who shares your workplace.
If she gets possessive, accusatory or tries to pressure you to distance yourself from your female relatives- be very wary.
This can often be a warning sigh of extreme insecurity, paranoia and the type of inferiority complex that turns many problem daters into predatory abusers of those closest to them.