I find this very odd to hear about. Of course it's 3 years later and everything has been resolved, but I actually started using dildos to make my first sexual experience better. When I have sex for the first time, I won't have to worry about pain, bleeding, and not knowing what I like. I've experimented with everything and know what works for me. It'll make my sex life that much more pleasurable when the time comes. Use this experience as a token towards better 1st time sex.