How to Act - question for the guys!

the easiest way to meet new guys is to talk to them at the bar - that way you can approach him and not make it obvious your coming onto him - therefore he wont think your throwing yourself at him.
Just be friendly and chatty, and if your at a relatively quiet bar stay there and talk with him for a while, and then suggest you get a table - dancing isn't a good suggestion as if you want to get to know someone its less talking and its also hinting at something sexual.
In a busy club its slightly more difficult - obviously in this environment dragging someone to the dancefloor is an easier way to get to know someone, as its difficult to find, or persuade, someone into a quiet corner for a natter - but in this respect it will be harder to meet a nice guy rather than a good looking one. The best method for a friendly encounter would be to get him to join your friends with you for a dance - but make sure he understands who he's dancing with ofcourse - it may perhaps be more constructive if your friends join you later as this will dissuade him from attempting to pull you when the night begins to wind down, whereas the opposite would almost certainly have this effect. Also, obviously you can do a little chat and exchange of numbers once the music has stopped - but be prompt to ask otherwise his mates will be dragging him away and vice-versa.
Also, dont be in a huge group of girls if you would like guys to approach you - since the only guys who wont be intimidated by your volume of friends will be up their own arses so far they can see light at the end of the tunnel...

personally though a quotation of that signature would be enough to get me on side :biggrin:

Reply 2

Chris.

bikerx23

Also, dont be in a huge group of girls if you would like guys to approach you - since the only guys who wont be intimidated by your volume of friends will be up their own arses so far they can see light at the end of the tunnel...

lol, what a stupid comment, don't be bitter that you don't have the confidence some do.

Reply 3

Iscariot

11

Chris.

lol, what a stupid comment, don't be bitter that you don't have the confidence some do.

I don't know, I think it's true. I do find girls in large groups intimidating. What a pussy I must be. Otherwise I agree with biker, chatty is good. Don't give one word answers, because that'll just make him have to force the conversation all the time which can get really frustrating after 10 minutes and just make you seem disinterested.

Reply 4

OP

bikerx23

the easiest way to meet new guys is to talk to them at the bar - that way you can approach him and not make it obvious your coming onto him - therefore he wont think your throwing yourself at him.
Just be friendly and chatty, and if your at a relatively quiet bar stay there and talk with him for a while, and then suggest you get a table - dancing isn't a good suggestion as if you want to get to know someone its less talking and its also hinting at something sexual.
In a busy club its slightly more difficult - obviously in this environment dragging someone to the dancefloor is an easier way to get to know someone, as its difficult to find, or persuade, someone into a quiet corner for a natter - but in this respect it will be harder to meet a nice guy rather than a good looking one. The best method for a friendly encounter would be to get him to join your friends with you for a dance - but make sure he understands who he's dancing with ofcourse - it may perhaps be more constructive if your friends join you later as this will dissuade him from attempting to pull you when the night begins to wind down, whereas the opposite would almost certainly have this effect. Also, obviously you can do a little chat and exchange of numbers once the music has stopped - but be prompt to ask otherwise his mates will be dragging him away and vice-versa.
Also, dont be in a huge group of girls if you would like guys to approach you - since the only guys who wont be intimidated by your volume of friends will be up their own arses so far they can see light at the end of the tunnel...

personally though a quotation of that signature would be enough to get me on side :biggrin:

wow! yeah that makes sence, never actually thought of the whole bar thing but that might just work! next time :biggrin:

i would never ask for a guys number tho! ill chat to him and if hes interested enough then he should ask! i know i know but ive got this thing where if i get rejected id die! :redface:

plus, how am i supposed to act if i want a guy to come chat me up? (i know its another ego thing! :rolleyes:

)
im not horrendously bad looking or unnatractive, but its always the sleezy looking or wierd guys that tend to chat me up!
--------------

Chris.

lol, what a stupid comment, don't be bitter that you don't have the confidence some do.

im usually out with my 2 girl mates, and a bunch of about 7 or 8 guys... would you still come up to me and chat me up if you found me attractive? :redface:

Reply 5

Fluent in Lies

2

yes ok, ill go out with you.

Reply 6

OP

Fluent in Lies

yes ok, ill go out with you.

hehe sorry that really made me laugh not sure why tho :redface:

am i supposed to go up to a guy and say that or what? :redface:

Reply 7

Fluent in Lies

2

Personaly I would grately appreciate it if a girl was very forward with me, as I find it impossible to reveal my feelings to them, and just a little nudge first by the girl would be a help.

But this is probably just because, in my case, she didn't like me.

Reply 8

OP

Fluent in Lies

Personaly I would grately appreciate it if a girl was very forward with me, as I find it impossible to reveal my feelings to them, and just a little nudge first by the girl would be a help.

But this is probably just because, in my case, she didn't like me.

ok so id have to walk past you and hit into you :biggrin:

i act all confident when im out but ask me to go up to a guy and i go all shy :redface:

Reply 9

Fluent in Lies

2

kriztinae

ok so id have to walk past you and hit into you :biggrin:

yes please :wink:

Reply 10

Spiral Architect

I agree with chatting to them at the bar. It has worked for me a few times. If the bar is busy I usually make a comment such as 'Crike, not going to get drunk at this rate'. This usually causes them to smile and say something back. Thus, conversation started.

Reply 11

Dekota

kriztinae

right so a girl is out in a club or a bar with her mates having a good time.
she single, interested in finding someone, not necessarily pulling. just a chat and an exchange of numbers.
how is she supposed to act??
if you over do it and go up to guys and basically throw urself at them they think your easy, and if you give them complete evils they dont even bother.
whats the ideal way guys would like us to act for them to come up to us?

make sence? i hope so! :redface:

Eye contact, and initiate the convo - take the first move. :biggrin:

Also a kiss on the cheek does it.

Reply 12

Laursy

10

the way i get a guys attention in a busy club!!

i sit down at a place where i am in viewing distance and the same with them, if they look over i won;t looks back at first then after say 10 minutes ill look and just give him a little smile, then ill move around abit so its not looking as though im obviously lookinf for them, say go and dance with my mates for a bit!!

then go and sit down see if i can find him
last time i did and then i felt abit faint so i went outside and he came out about 10 minutes later and started talking to me.

we sat there for what was about an hour and a half talking!!

it was nice to just talk to people instead of being groped by some drunken idiot.
another time i was playing pool in the pub with my mate, she was getting annoyed because i was a rubbish player, so this group of guys came over and about 2 games later i asked them if they wanted to play because one of them kept looking over and smiling and gving me little tips when he walked past. (that was a laugh as well) becuase he actully taught my how to play pool and i won a game lol

Reply 13

an Siarach

15

bikerx23

the easiest way to meet new guys is to talk to them at the bar

Thats it really. The bar is the easiest place to strike up a convo but other situations like in passing or if youre standing nearby are fine. Personally i would never walk right up to someone and and try it on.

Reply 14

slk999

15

Yeah, I agree- the bar is a good place to meet people. I also agree with the idea bout not being in a group of more than 2 girls. This may sound weak on my part, but I've herd that a group of girls who go out together clubbing or something and one guy starts chatting to that girl and that girl willingly goes off with him- then the rest of the girls will think she's a tart and a cheap one. However this is only paraphrase form something, but I can see the logic. Best thing to do is to get eye contact and then he should probably come over to you, but you might have to go over to him- don't just think that 2 seconds of eye contact is good enough- get about 5 seconds and with a smile too!! :smile:

as that means that you are both interested- if he looks around and is not really looking at you, then he's probably not interested, therefore it's not worth apporaching him. (dunno if any of that is useful, it's what i read somewhere but about girls instead of guys, but i s'pose the logic works the same?? correct me if i'm wrong.. if that's all irrelevent rubbish!! v :redface:

Reply 15

Leigh

15

I agree with the bar talking; it's easy to bring up a conversation topic with stuff going on, it's a bit quieter and it's easier to start as you're standing close together.

I think in general, guys enjoy talking to girls so just say hi and ask something simple; I don't know any guys that'd just ignore you or tell you to get lost as long as you weren't like all hyper and squealy or incoherently drunk, so you should be fine. You don't need to be particularly forward; just small talk and if the guy's nice, you can move forward from there.
If you are going to do that though, be careful about meeting some sleazy guys; some think a girl looking at them means they want to sleep with them, but by staying 'unforward' and noncommital to start with, you should avoid that kind of situation.

Not sure if it's too off topic to be useful advise, but maybe if you are looking to meet nice guys just to chat with and swap numbers, a bar/club would probably be one of the worse places to look; loud, lots of alcohol and typically a place that meetings between males and females end in pulling, which isn't what you want. Perhaps a coffee shop or cafe or something would be easier, if you are particularly interested in meeting someone. If it's specifically bars you want tips on, ignore that last paragraph! Good luck.

Smile, talk.

Eye contact definitely. If he sees you looking then he knows that you've noticed him - never a bad thing!

Reply 18

OP

KingLeigh

I agree with the bar talking; it's easy to bring up a conversation topic with stuff going on, it's a bit quieter and it's easier to start as you're standing close together.

I think in general, guys enjoy talking to girls so just say hi and ask something simple; I don't know any guys that'd just ignore you or tell you to get lost as long as you weren't like all hyper and squealy or incoherently drunk, so you should be fine. You don't need to be particularly forward; just small talk and if the guy's nice, you can move forward from there.
If you are going to do that though, be careful about meeting some sleazy guys; some think a girl looking at them means they want to sleep with them, but by staying 'unforward' and noncommital to start with, you should avoid that kind of situation.

Not sure if it's too off topic to be useful advise, but maybe if you are looking to meet nice guys just to chat with and swap numbers, a bar/club would probably be one of the worse places to look; loud, lots of alcohol and typically a place that meetings between males and females end in pulling, which isn't what you want. Perhaps a coffee shop or cafe or something would be easier, if you are particularly interested in meeting someone. If it's specifically bars you want tips on, ignore that last paragraph! Good luck.

where else can you meet guys tho!
coffee shops/cafe are usually the worst cos guys dont usually go there.
i mean in class is always good but ive more or less met all my class mates and the only one i find attractive is in a long term relationship :rolleyes:

it usually works when its a friend of a friend to be honest, but its come to the point where ive met most of my friends friends :rolleyes:

Reply 19

bikerx23