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Weird situation with my ex

OK, so here's the situation, my ex and i broke up about 10 months ago, it was a really messy break up, and we didn't speak for a long time.

A few months after that he sent me a random text asking me about sex with my current boyfriend, i ignored it and sort of assumed he'd accidentally sent it to the wrong person. A few months after that i had a similar message again, both times it was late at night so i assumed he'd had one too many to drink.

Early hours of new years eve morning he sent me a load of sexual messages and pictures, i egged him on slightly because i really wanted to embarrass him a bit, but the following morning after he sobered up he continued along the same vein.

A few days later his girlfriend (long story here, she got herself pregnant on purpose six years ago when they had a brief relationship, refused to get rid of the baby when she found out she was pregnant after they broke up, has been shafting him for his money every since. It turns out he's moved her in with him because he sees her as free childcare, has his dinner on the table and he gets to live with his son) sent me a message on facebook asking me to leave him alone. I responded by saying i had no interest in him and he was the one pursuing me, etc etc. I told him she'd sent the message and blocked her so that was the end of it.

Recently i called him because i had a problem with my car and he owns a garage, after offering me advice on my car the messages started again. This time he told me more stuff about what he's into etc.

Turns out he fantasies about other men, he doesn't want to actually have sex with them but says he masturbates over pictures of naked guys online and fantasises about me and my boyfriend together. Its recently got rather graphic.

I keep asking him why he's spending so much time telling me about this and is now trying to encourage me to meet up with him for sex, I don't see why he can't just have sex with his girlfriend. It seems like he would rather send me erotic messages or looks at porn online than have sex with her.

When he and i were together i got upset with the fact that we weren't having sex very often and thought it was something wrong with me.

Are there actually guys out there who would rather send sexual texts to someone else, and masturbate while looking at porn on the internet that have sex with their girlfriend who is in the next room?

He keeps telling me he's always horny and can't stop thinking about sex, yet apparently they only have sex once a week and he thinks that's normal.

So guy out there, if you were living with a girl, would you rather get off by looking at porn and texting ex girlfriends or have sex with the girl you actually live with?

Reply 1

DiZZeeKiD

I think you need to stop interfering with his relationship and get on with your own life. Its not about whether he would rather have sex with his girlfriend or look at porn/text you, its about why you still care about the sexual preferences of someone you don't want to be with and apparently have no interest in.

Reply 2

pipsi

I think it's weird that a guy would rather look at porn, than have sex with his girlfriend, i mean i could understand my bf looking at porn if we are apart for a while, but i'd be a bit upset if he turned me down to go sit in the other room with his laptop.

There's a whole other issue with him having fantasies about men though, is he bi-sexual or does he only fantasise about men in the way that he thinks about porn. I think what i'm trying to say is, does he just think about men in the context of them involved in having sex with some girl in a porn video, or does he actually fantasise about them only?

Perhaps he's more into the porn/texting you because he's not really that into his girlfriend and like you've suggested, is only with her because of the convenience of it not because he finds her amazingly attractive.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I'm not bothered about their relationship, i only added that in to give a background to the story. I'm more interested in the wider idea of a guy being more into porn and texting someone else, than wanting to have sex with his girlfriend. Surely that's not right.

And also his obsession with other men, when he first told me i thought he was winding me up but it seems he's really into it. Do other men have fantasies about other men, even thought they consider themselves straight?

@pipsi He does actually think about men, their size etc, he watches porn with men on their own masturbating. He says he's not bi but would have a threesome with a girl and another guy and would like to touch another guy. He also said he really wants to taste another guy. It's hard to explain what he's into without getting too graphic for the forum. Basically apart from the tasting bit, he's only interested in another guy if it is in a situation that primarily involves a girl, or him watching the other guy alone but not touching him.