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How to help someone feel better about themselves? watch

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    Posting anonymously as this isn't about me and before anyone comments I do realise that you can't force anyone to be/do anything, I'm just after suggestions or stories from people who used to lack confidence...

    Basically my cousin thinks everyone else is better than her and I can see that she is unhappy. She is quite self-conscious and has very little confidence. She is often compared to other people although she is not ugly/unintelligent etc, she's just shyer so she is rarely the focus of everyone's attentions. How can I help her to realise that other people aren't as spectacular as they may seem and that strangers aren't constantly looking down at her?
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    Get her to listen to Bob Marley & 2pac. Yes, I'm being serious. I was similar then I got depressed bla bla bla. Started to listen to them and suddenly I learnt to f**k em all! If someone does'nt like you for who you are, don't like them. Show you don't care what they think! Tell her they all think the same but put on a brave face like she should!
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    You have to try and demonstrate it to her I guess. If compliments don't work because she thinks you're trying to make her feel better, maybe get a male friend to talk to her / go out with her and tell him not to be afraid of complimenting her?
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    (Original post by I.am.bored)
    Get her to listen to Bob Marley & 2pac. Yes, I'm being serious. I was similar then I got depressed bla bla bla. Started to listen to them and suddenly I learnt to f**k em all! If someone does'nt like you for who you are, don't like them. Show you don't care what they think! Tell her they all think the same but put on a brave face like she should!
    I say the same but with Oasis.
    And also, try and make her see what it is that makes her special, and better than those people she compares herself to...
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    (Original post by RitaF)
    I say the same but with Oasis.
    And also, try and make her see what it is that makes her special, and better than those people she compares herself to...
    No!! Definately Pac and Bob <3 They changed my life
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    (Original post by I.am.bored)
    No!! Definately Pac and Bob <3 They changed my life
    Well, Oasis changed mine! And that's actually an euphemism.
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    In my experience, the most successful way to go about trying to boost someone's self-esteem is to give them empirical evidence that is not easily refuted (if at all refutable). Also just let them know you're there for them and do small gestures and make little comments. They might dismiss it initially and maybe even always but over time, I've seen this have a small impact
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    (Original post by RitaF)
    Well, Oasis changed mine! And that's actually an euphemism.
    Listen here, you! I'm tired I can't see how it's a euphamism! Please explain xD
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    (Original post by I.am.bored)
    Listen here, you! I'm tired I can't see how it's a euphamism! Please explain xD
    haha what I meant is that saying they've changed my life is not enough for what they have done to me... do you know what I mean? I'm tired too
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    (Original post by RitaF)
    haha what I meant is that saying they've changed my life is not enough for what they have done to me... do you know what I mean? I'm tired too
    ...oh. ohhhh... right Yes... :L oh gosh! I can't say the same for 2pac and Bob :/ haha! Legend.
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    (Original post by n1r4v)
    You have to try and demonstrate it to her I guess. If compliments don't work because she thinks you're trying to make her feel better, maybe get a male friend to talk to her / go out with her and tell him not to be afraid of complimenting her?
    I was thinking of this, maybe getting a guy friend to buy her a drink and say something nice? If I do it she'll just think I'm trying to make her feel better. She's too shy to be set up with anyone or anything like that so I thought this might be the easiest way. Or maybe it would be better to get someone to compliment her casually in a group...? Less pressure.

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    In my experience, the most successful way to go about trying to boost someone's self-esteem is to give them empirical evidence that is not easily refuted (if at all refutable). Also just let them know you're there for them and do small gestures and make little comments. They might dismiss it initially and maybe even always but over time, I've seen this have a small impact
    Yes I think you're both right, she needs someone to boost her confidence. It's difficult as people make jokey comments that she takes seriously. I'm thinking of inviting her out with my friends as I know they'll be nice to her and she seems really intimidated by her own friends who are quite young/*****y.

    Thanks for the advice
 
 
 
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