Don't speak to my flatmates or anyone in my halls.
Hey. I moved into halls about 2 weeks into Uni, as I was planning on living at home but it didnt really work out. So I moved into Uni after freshers week and already two weeks into the course. I came with the expectations of me and my flatmates getting really close as I have heard many people say that your flatmates become like your family. Sadly this isn't the case for me. I've lived in halls for a month now, and I haven't even had on proper conversation with anyone in my halls. I went into the lounge once and because everyone has already got to know each other they have already got their own groups. When I went in a few people looked up, but that was it. No one said hi or anything. After a couple of minutes of just sitting their awkwardly I went back to my room. Even the people I share a kitchen with dont talk to me. I share it with 3 girls and 1 guy. The guy seems friendly but we've only really said hi to each other when we pass each other in the corridor. The 3 girls seem really close and are always together. They never say Hi except one, but once again I haven't spoken to them. I feel so awkward and like an outcast. I've tried talking to one of the girls and she was friendly but now when we see eachother, she just ignores me. It's go to the point where I have totally isolated myself from them. I don't ever go in the lounge, and try to avoid going in the kitchen when I can hear they are in there. I just feel so lonely 
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Hey, sorry to hear you're feeling lonely . In my first flat, it was basically the same... just so damn awkward. I would avoid going in the kitchen etc. I felt like they had all bonded and I was the outcast. I was getting pretty depressed so I moved flats, it's a lot better now, my new flatmates are a lot more friendly and open and I can hold a conversation with them.
. In my first flat, it was basically the same... just so damn awkward. I would avoid going in the kitchen etc. I felt like they had all bonded and I was the outcast. I was getting pretty depressed so I moved flats, it's a lot better now, my new flatmates are a lot more friendly and open and I can hold a conversation with them.
Try actually going to them? Knock their door, say you're heading to the shop do they want anything? It starts a conversation. Invite them to watch a DVD. Just relax and try talknig to them.
Original post by jt129
Hey. I moved into halls about 2 weeks into Uni, as I was planning on living at home but it didnt really work out. So I moved into Uni after freshers week and already two weeks into the course. I came with the expectations of me and my flatmates getting really close as I have heard many people say that your flatmates become like your family. Sadly this isn't the case for me. I've lived in halls for a month now, and I haven't even had on proper conversation with anyone in my halls. I went into the lounge once and because everyone has already got to know each other they have already got their own groups. When I went in a few people looked up, but that was it. No one said hi or anything. After a couple of minutes of just sitting their awkwardly I went back to my room. Even the people I share a kitchen with dont talk to me. I share it with 3 girls and 1 guy. The guy seems friendly but we've only really said hi to each other when we pass each other in the corridor. The 3 girls seem really close and are always together. They never say Hi except one, but once again I haven't spoken to them. I feel so awkward and like an outcast. I've tried talking to one of the girls and she was friendly but now when we see eachother, she just ignores me. It's go to the point where I have totally isolated myself from them. I don't ever go in the lounge, and try to avoid going in the kitchen when I can hear they are in there. I just feel so lonely
Which uni you are at?
try talking to them dont wait until its too late,
Original post by jt129
Hey. I moved into halls about 2 weeks into Uni, as I was planning on living at home but it didnt really work out. So I moved into Uni after freshers week and already two weeks into the course. I came with the expectations of me and my flatmates getting really close as I have heard many people say that your flatmates become like your family. Sadly this isn't the case for me. I've lived in halls for a month now, and I haven't even had on proper conversation with anyone in my halls. I went into the lounge once and because everyone has already got to know each other they have already got their own groups. When I went in a few people looked up, but that was it. No one said hi or anything. After a couple of minutes of just sitting their awkwardly I went back to my room. Even the people I share a kitchen with dont talk to me. I share it with 3 girls and 1 guy. The guy seems friendly but we've only really said hi to each other when we pass each other in the corridor. The 3 girls seem really close and are always together. They never say Hi except one, but once again I haven't spoken to them. I feel so awkward and like an outcast. I've tried talking to one of the girls and she was friendly but now when we see eachother, she just ignores me. It's go to the point where I have totally isolated myself from them. I don't ever go in the lounge, and try to avoid going in the kitchen when I can hear they are in there. I just feel so lonely
awww,I'm exactly in the same position!!!!!!!!!At the beginning it was a nightmare but I'm used to it. They ignore me I ignore them During Freshers flatmates seemed to be more friendly,we went out ,had a pre-drinks with people from other flats,but since i gave up on parties and drinking stuff because of my workload they started to ignore me.OH,Well ....
buy them drinks. then they will tawk
Original post by jt129
Hey. I moved into halls about 2 weeks into Uni, as I was planning on living at home but it didnt really work out. So I moved into Uni after freshers week and already two weeks into the course. I came with the expectations of me and my flatmates getting really close as I have heard many people say that your flatmates become like your family. Sadly this isn't the case for me. I've lived in halls for a month now, and I haven't even had on proper conversation with anyone in my halls. I went into the lounge once and because everyone has already got to know each other they have already got their own groups. When I went in a few people looked up, but that was it. No one said hi or anything. After a couple of minutes of just sitting their awkwardly I went back to my room. Even the people I share a kitchen with dont talk to me. I share it with 3 girls and 1 guy. The guy seems friendly but we've only really said hi to each other when we pass each other in the corridor. The 3 girls seem really close and are always together. They never say Hi except one, but once again I haven't spoken to them. I feel so awkward and like an outcast. I've tried talking to one of the girls and she was friendly but now when we see eachother, she just ignores me. It's go to the point where I have totally isolated myself from them. I don't ever go in the lounge, and try to avoid going in the kitchen when I can hear they are in there. I just feel so lonely
try to crack some jokes to break the ice```
Original post by jt129
They never say Hi except one, but once again I haven't spoken to them.
Maybe this is your problem? I understand how difficult it is to overcome shyness but sometimes you just have to go for it and put yourself out there. Trust me when I say that the consequences of not talking to your flatmates is far worse than the consequences of trying to talk to them and feeling like a bit of an outcast. The more you start conversations up with them, the more they'll start conversations back. I'm afraid that it's a two way thing, you can't expect them to do all the work.
hmmm... u can approach in many different ways... idk try cooking a big feast and ask them to dig in with you? or just maybe ask them if you could use some of their salt or milk?? i dont know.. you can always say something. ask them what they're studying or how are they finding uni so far (in terms of workload) or what are they up to in the weekend... its easy YO!
so you walked into a room with them and didn't say "Hi everyone, I'm x, I just moved in. Do you all live here too? What courses do you all go? Are you going out this weekend? Mind if I tag along?"
No, you just walked in and sat down in silence. They probably thought you were sleep walking and didn't want to wake you.
No, you just walked in and sat down in silence. They probably thought you were sleep walking and didn't want to wake you.
Same happened to me in first year. I didn't have a full conversation with any one of them the entire year I lived there. I arrived around 3pm on my first day and they had all arrived early in the morning and were already claiming they were all friends for life.
I guess it was different for me as they weren't the type of people I would want to be friends with (cba with the details here) and I didn't have the time to get to know them as I was always out and about with my course friends.
First of all I'll say that it is no big deal - in the first few weeks I found myself almost worrying that I hadn't really spoken to them. If you don't all become best friends for life, it isn't a big problem.
Secondly, do try your best. As others have suggested, you could invite them out to the cinema maybe/ meet up for lunch one day. Just say something like "ohh we haven't really got to know each other properly yet, we could meet up..." Just be open and friendly and if you get no response, you know you tried. Give it a bit more time and you will have loads of people to hang out with.
I guess it was different for me as they weren't the type of people I would want to be friends with (cba with the details here) and I didn't have the time to get to know them as I was always out and about with my course friends.
First of all I'll say that it is no big deal - in the first few weeks I found myself almost worrying that I hadn't really spoken to them. If you don't all become best friends for life, it isn't a big problem.
Secondly, do try your best. As others have suggested, you could invite them out to the cinema maybe/ meet up for lunch one day. Just say something like "ohh we haven't really got to know each other properly yet, we could meet up..." Just be open and friendly and if you get no response, you know you tried. Give it a bit more time and you will have loads of people to hang out with.
I don't really do clubbing, so didn't spend that much time with them in freshers, except we went to the shops and freshers fairs, but now they seem to think I don't want to do anything else, they didn't even grab me one of the free pancakes I said I wanted to get one of when they got theirs. Whatever though, just can't be arsed to care, actually, neither should you. Living in halls is over-idealised, me thinks.
Original post by py0alb
so you walked into a room with them and didn't say "Hi everyone, I'm x, I just moved in. Do you all live here too? What courses do you all go? Are you going out this weekend? Mind if I tag along?"
No, you just walked in and sat down in silence. They probably thought you were sleep walking and didn't want to wake you.
No, you just walked in and sat down in silence. They probably thought you were sleep walking and didn't want to wake you.
I don't know why you got negged for this, if I had any rep left I'd give you some. OP your post makes it sound as if you waited for people to talk to you. Put yourself out there, ask people what they are studying, where they come from, anything about themselves. If they don't make an effort back, then they aren't being friendly, but unless you try you'll never know.
Original post by jt129
Hey. I moved into halls about 2 weeks into Uni, as I was planning on living at home but it didnt really work out. So I moved into Uni after freshers week and already two weeks into the course. I came with the expectations of me and my flatmates getting really close as I have heard many people say that your flatmates become like your family. Sadly this isn't the case for me. I've lived in halls for a month now, and I haven't even had on proper conversation with anyone in my halls. I went into the lounge once and because everyone has already got to know each other they have already got their own groups. When I went in a few people looked up, but that was it. No one said hi or anything. After a couple of minutes of just sitting their awkwardly I went back to my room. Even the people I share a kitchen with dont talk to me. I share it with 3 girls and 1 guy. The guy seems friendly but we've only really said hi to each other when we pass each other in the corridor. The 3 girls seem really close and are always together. They never say Hi except one, but once again I haven't spoken to them. I feel so awkward and like an outcast. I've tried talking to one of the girls and she was friendly but now when we see eachother, she just ignores me. It's go to the point where I have totally isolated myself from them. I don't ever go in the lounge, and try to avoid going in the kitchen when I can hear they are in there. I just feel so lonely
Have you tried talking to the guy other than by saying hi?
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