How can I give my boyfriend a wake up call?

You could set the time instead of him? Why does the guy always have to do this?

Then if he doesn't turn up without good reason, or turns you down a few times without a proper excuse, you dump that *******!

No worries eh, invoice is in the post like

Aye, quite sensible. We blokes can be forgetful sods apart from owt else so it's as well to ensure you have your case prepared should there be a plea of innocence

Sometimes you will have to, with some people. It's unusual for guys to always be fastidious.. try to cut him a bit of slack me hearty!

Aye well, he needs to know if you're upset, but it'd be a shame to allow him being a bit of a pillock to make you run the risk of turning things sour now wouldn't it

He defo needs to know this

Very sensible

It doesn't sound clear cut either way but it does sound more like y'all have a nice relationship, by and large he's good to/for you, and that when you bark he jumps to so it could be a lot worse really!

I think this needs to be one of the main things I'm addressing actually - even tonight - I have stuff to do, but just cannot concentrate. Next week will be an important week for getting things done, so I just can't run the risk of being stressed over this stuff then.

In a way I already think it will spur him into action. He always used to say he knew I was busy at uni, and knew it was important (he's graduated and works atm) - so as I was 'busier' he'd be fitting his schedule around mine more for the timebeing!

Can you think of any way I am likely to know the answer to whether he still wants to be with me or not? Just come right out and ask? I'm not even sure that's reliable - because on some level he obviously care about me quite a lot, and would be reluctant to let go - but his feelings might have shifted for some reason.

In any case...I'll let you know how it goes. Your advice has given me a bit of confidence/made me feel slightly better.

If you can't concentrate, this is similar to what I had with my girlfriend. It calmed me down to write down a list of things I was not content with, then come back and work out why I was feeling it, then come back and see if it was logical. Not surprisingly, most of it was not logical.

The time gap helps you reduce emotional warping of the situation and make the right decision.

What year are you in?

Not sure in what way that is relevant? Clearly he does want to be with you! What is less certain is how much of an effort he is: 1) Prepared to make; 2) Comfortable with making

What you need to bear in mind is that wanting you as regular mate ≠ level of care you ≠ amount of effort he's prepared to make ≠ amount of effort he is comfortable making day in day out ≠ his idea of what is normal once settled into a relationship. The key is to get a grasp of how these things compare relatively speaking, together, and to determine whether the gap can be closed sustainably

Yes do, and jolly good I know it's tricky to see it quite in this way, particularly if you're a bit snowed under and feel like your relationships with other people may be in jeopardy at times but life is a challenge and an adventure, as are relationship dynamics! Sometimes it is only by (sensibly, respectfully) working through attitudinal differences, or differing styles/approaches that people grow in certain ways as individuals and stronger bonds are formed as couples, in the spirit of gaining greater mutual understanding and of compromise

My ex has come to realise she did this with me too, though to be fair I had an attitude towards her that was only ever going to prove a source of discontent for her

From what I've read it doesn't sound like you're being wholly unreasonable, just need to ensure that your gripes don't translate into nags as that's usually an own goal in these situations

Naturally, no guy wants to feel like he's living constantly in the shadow of the guillotine!

Aye

I would've reserved any mention of that as the nuclear option if I were you but at least you both realise it's highly undesirable

Don't recall this having been mentioned?

Jolly good, all's well that ends well