My best friend of 6 years blocked me on all social media, no idea what i should do.

Me (20F)and my friend (20F)have been friends for over five years . Ever since she’s gotten her first boyfriend (19M) (let’s call him D) it’s like she’s had this mentality of “i don’t need anyone, i’m cutting whoever off”, the irony of it all is he’s cheated on her and they have stupid arguments that she would call me at three in the morning crying about in which i would always be present and listen. When they broke up temporarily i would stay on the call with her for seven hours during her shifts because she couldn’t stand being alone. I’ve just done so much for her.

Fast forward she ghosted me after a friend told her that i was talking about how i’m worried he would cheat on her again and hurt her especially as there’s already a big racial difference between them and he’s stated they probably can’t be married due to his Turkish heritage and just other things.

She never talked to me about how she felt about what i said, and i had to be the one to reach out (we never ghost each other, we would always discuss our problems if we hurt each other so this whole ghosting thing is so new to me),we forgave each other and she told me she missed me so much because she had no friends (i’m her closest friend), which i found annoying because she has so much pride that she couldn’t contact me?

Either way we moved past it. Recently we went out together and this was the first time in seven months that we had seen each other.

She was the reason we were hours late and couldn’t even apologise for her making us late and she does this a lot, i’ve always said to her i take punctuality seriously no matter the situation. The entire day she had a attitude, was purposely walking behind just on the phone to her boyfriend and was just being weird all day yet she was still interacting with me so i thought nothing of it but i spoke to her sister (21F) about how i didn’t appreciate her behaviour the entire day.

The next day i wake up blocked on all social media by her. Her sister told me she was upset because i was speaking about her attitude? And her younger sister (who was also with us on this day) was just saying nasty things about me too and how the entire day she felt uncomfortable with me, but yet she would be the one to try and talk to me and hang out with me. I never went out of my way to talk to her younger sister as i saw her as a younger sister and i was responsible for helping take care of their youngest sister (who is 12).

I had just decided it’s time to move on and removed her entire family off my social media because i couldn’t be bothered anymore with the constant miscommunication from everyone because no one could come and speak to me about this entire situation. After i removed them all her older sister (twenty one Female) proceeded to call me childish and i’m just starting more drama.

Later on my friends boyfriend D proceeds to find my social media and text me calling me a “weird hoe” and “your fat”. I told my mum about this and she proceeded to call the older sister (twenty one Female) and told her if she doesn’t make him apologise for his words she would talk to her mum about it because it was unnecessary for him to be involved in our business on the first place especially when they have only been together for over one year. It just wasn’t his place.

He later apologised to me on text but i never responded. I feel like the only way she would ever talk to me is if she breaks up with her boyfriend because it’s like he’s suddenly just become her entire world and nobody else matters. I’ve accepted that we aren’t talking but i just still wonder if we will ever be able to talk it out because this isn’t normal behaviour from her part.

Hey there,

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time! I think you’ve done everything in your power to try and save this friendship but sadly, this effort hasn’t been reciprocated. I think your friend is having trouble understanding relationships and finding what is true considering the issues you have explained here.

I remember a few girls like this when I was that age and with everything else going on, journeying into adulthood we can hold a lot of pressure within ourselves. This might just be the case that your friend is taking out on those closest to her. With time and space, she will realise how good of a friend you had been and sort of “set back into reality”. I can sense a whirlwind of emotions here from both sides, which is totally understandable!

My advice to you would be, focus on yourself, don’t let this “drama” bring you down and be relived that you’ve done everything possible to be a good friend but, it is not for you to be there and get mistreated or misunderstood and disrespected. So it’s time to let go for now. Perhaps sometime in the future she will reach out to you again ready to talk about this whole situation. Even if not, let it be a life lesson for you and choose your friends wisely - you will feel so much better when you have friends that are there to help you as much as you help them! Friends are always meant to be there whether you’ve not talked or seen each other for months - there’s no holding grudges, life’s too short.

Wishing you all the best,
Ellie