Flirty CoWorker

I don’t ever post stuff like this but I don’t really know what to think and would like some advice.

I work with my boyfriend and feel like a coworker is flirting with him. Other people are respectful and aware that we’re dating and keep their boundaries. But lately I have felt like this girl is crossing the line. Her tone is very flirtatious and often teases him and involves me in the teasing which I don’t know how to respond to. She’ll call him annoying and then ask if I get annoyed too. Today I saw that she smacked his pens out of his pocket and laughed. He doesn’t ever flirt back and didn’t do anything when she did this, he wasn’t aware I saw. Often what I find flirty she does in front of me so I’m not sure if she just doesn’t give a **** or is just the way she talks.

I have told him I feel like she’s flirty. He said he didn’t see it like that yet apologized and reassured that he loves me. Her tone is weird and corky with almost everyone but I feel like I wouldn’t personally act like this with someone in a relationship. Also given that we work together and people at work can sometimes be over dramatic and get offended quickly, he might not want to call her out like that. We have have issues with other people so I don’t want to have more with others.

He has asked what I want him to do but I don’t want to come out controlling but just wish he would tell her something. Yet at the same time I don’t really care and know that I shouldn’t feel threatened because I trust him.

This is my first relationship so I know there’s things I need to work on that I didn’t know I had. I have expressed to him I get jealous easily and wish to change that.

Should I just leave it? Should I tell him to say something?

Reply 1

Ackhnologia

Hi there
If he is your boyfriend then there is a need to talk to him again. Tell him how you feel about the whole situation.

What is a bit tricky though is the wanting him to talk to her part. Because he can talk to her and tell her that he is in a relationship and that she should stop flirting with him. But what if she call him crazy to believe that she is being flirty while she is just being friendly and all? It might even get to the HR. Your boyfriend would be in trouble.

I believe it should be you who talk to her instead and tell her that you feel like she is flirting with your boyfriend and that you do not like it.

Reply 2

Zarek

Just leave it. The most I would do is to treat her with icy ‘I know what your up’ to distain. What’s she’s doing is pretty intangible and, as you say, he’s not encouraging her. The best way to hold on to a partner is anyway, and counterintuitively, to be totally non possessive