The Student Room Group

miserable at university already

I'm two days into university and so far I absolutely hate it. I'm in a 10 bed, in Swansea, 2 hours away from home and my boyfriend and I am completely and utterly a mess.

I've really tried to be social, I have, but it's like they all get on so well and I'm sort of just there. I don't drink and I really hate nights out, so I'm a bit boring to them probably.
I'm two nights in, they're all going out tonight and I'm staying in because I hate nights out and it's my idea of hell

I want to say it'll get better once I've started lessons and met more people but even so, I'm crying every night, I'm crying as I write this and it's the afternoon.

I'm sorry if I seem totally whiny and a sad loser but I'm so unhappy it's horrible.

Any help?
Reply 1
You could try to go out with other people. There will be other people who would rather go to the cinema, for example, than go to a club. Check what events your uni has planned for this week - most will involve drinking but some won't!

And anyway things will settle after fresher's! Good luck :smile:
I hated Uni for a good month when I first started as I hated not having friends or not knowing people in my seminars but honestly it gets better! You'll get used to the environment, classes and lectures and you'll make friends, so don't worry right now.
Reply 3
There are other things to throw you energy in to at uni than nights out and drinking - although admittedly it's not the norm! Like studying which, if you like your course, is not a bad bet. Plus lots of great clubs which don't all centre on drinking. Your accommodation too can be changed if you don't like it. Stick with it, the transition to uni life is bound to be a bit stressful. Good luck.
Reply 4
Hang in there! It may well get better. I've already seen a few threads on here about people who are feeling exactly the same way as you are.

Don't give up and carry on being social, even though things seem really difficult :smile:.
Reply 5
why dont you just drink and party then
Reply 6
Freshers is a stressful time, but don't worry too much. Join clubs and things to meet more people and do something social that isn't going out getting drunk.
It could be a bit of home sickness too which is totally normal when going to uni!
It would probably be a good idea not to isolate yourself from your flat mates too much though. Just put on a brave face and go have a chat with them all. It may seem like you are the odd one out at the moment, but that's probably more in your head than you think!
Staying in your room may feel the best thing to do, but in the long run its probably worth doing something you don't like for a while to meet people. You could go knock on some other flats door, see if anyone else isn't going out :smile:
Most of all, don't worry! You will settle in and find your place before long, its only day two!
I still hate it a year in. I've learned nothing. I dont want to drink myself into oblivion and I'm a good 5 hours from my boyfriend. Uni is to be endured to make your parents proud
Reply 8
I was in this same position last year. I ended up moving home and commuting which made me much happier. But trust me, when you start your course, you'll find many more like minded people. I'm not really one to drink or go out either, but I found plenty of people on my course that I could just get lunch with and go to the library with and hang out with in general. So don't worry, it is very hard, but it will get better. Just wait till you've started lectures and things will get a bit more comfortable. Just focus on how much you wanted to go to uni in the first place and hopefully it'll get you through

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