Wanting to drop out of uni due to loneliness
I'm enjoying uni; I really like the course and city, but I'm really struggling to make friends. I have acquaintances in my course and sports club, however the choice of societies here is awful and the sports clubs are really competitive (which is not my thing), and everyone's already got into friend groups that I don't want to get in the way off without seeming like a charity case.
I'm also in the accommodation that is full of people who I know I have nothing common with, and there's a huge clubbing/drinking culture here that I really don't fit into (and all the other accoms are so far out from mine).
I just feel so alone and feeling like I can't make any friends, especially as 2nd year accom is already a huge topic of conversation. I feel like I'll never meet my people and whilst I've been told "it takes time!" everyone seems to be in happy groups. I've been to multiple events and found nobody as everyone's in comfortable groups already.
I feel like switching universities is the only option but I don't want to drop out for the year because university is what I've worked for and I don't want to travel/stay at home.
I just feel so lonely and miserable at the minute it's hard to feel positive about my time here.
Any advice?
I'm also in the accommodation that is full of people who I know I have nothing common with, and there's a huge clubbing/drinking culture here that I really don't fit into (and all the other accoms are so far out from mine).
I just feel so alone and feeling like I can't make any friends, especially as 2nd year accom is already a huge topic of conversation. I feel like I'll never meet my people and whilst I've been told "it takes time!" everyone seems to be in happy groups. I've been to multiple events and found nobody as everyone's in comfortable groups already.
I feel like switching universities is the only option but I don't want to drop out for the year because university is what I've worked for and I don't want to travel/stay at home.
I just feel so lonely and miserable at the minute it's hard to feel positive about my time here.
Any advice?
(edited 6 months ago)
Original post by R4spB3rri3s
I'm enjoying uni; I really like the course and city, but I'm really struggling to make friends. I have acquaintances in my course and sports club, however the choice of societies here is awful and the sports clubs are really competitive (which is not my thing), and everyone's already got into friend groups that I don't want to get in the way off without seeming like a charity case.
I'm also in the accommodation that is full of people who I know I have nothing common with, and there's a huge clubbing/drinking culture here that I really don't fit into (and all the other accoms are so far out from mine).
I just feel so alone and feeling like I can't make any friends, especially as 2nd year accom is already a huge topic of conversation. I feel like I'll never meet my people and whilst I've been told "it takes time!" everyone seems to be in happy groups. I've been to multiple events and found nobody as everyone's in comfortable groups already.
I feel like switching universities is the only option but I don't want to drop out for the year because university is what I've worked for and I don't want to travel/stay at home.
I just feel so lonely and miserable at the minute it's hard to feel positive about my time here.
Any advice?
I'm also in the accommodation that is full of people who I know I have nothing common with, and there's a huge clubbing/drinking culture here that I really don't fit into (and all the other accoms are so far out from mine).
I just feel so alone and feeling like I can't make any friends, especially as 2nd year accom is already a huge topic of conversation. I feel like I'll never meet my people and whilst I've been told "it takes time!" everyone seems to be in happy groups. I've been to multiple events and found nobody as everyone's in comfortable groups already.
I feel like switching universities is the only option but I don't want to drop out for the year because university is what I've worked for and I don't want to travel/stay at home.
I just feel so lonely and miserable at the minute it's hard to feel positive about my time here.
Any advice?
Hi @R4spB3rri3s,
I'm Susannah and I am a second year student at ARU in Cambridge. I totally understand how you feel about being lonely. First year was extremely tough for me too.
You mentioned that the choices of societies at your university are awful. Could you maybe consider creating your own society? I know it may seem quite daunting as a first year, but most student unions are incredibly helpful at setting one up, and because you're setting it up, it would be something that you're interested in, so anyone who joins would have at least one thing in common with you.
Have you gone to any other events run by your university or student union. Sometimes, they're a good way to meet other students from different courses (and sometimes include free food and drink, depending on the event).
Another thing I could suggest is looking for local clubs in your area for something that you're interested in, or finding a volunteering role for something you're passionate about. Again, this is a great way to meet people who have similar interests to you - and they don't have to be students.
I hope this will be helpful for you and hopefully you'll be making friends in no time
Susannah (ARU)
Original post by R4spB3rri3s
I'm enjoying uni; I really like the course and city, but I'm really struggling to make friends. I have acquaintances in my course and sports club, however the choice of societies here is awful and the sports clubs are really competitive (which is not my thing), and everyone's already got into friend groups that I don't want to get in the way off without seeming like a charity case.
I'm also in the accommodation that is full of people who I know I have nothing common with, and there's a huge clubbing/drinking culture here that I really don't fit into (and all the other accoms are so far out from mine).
I just feel so alone and feeling like I can't make any friends, especially as 2nd year accom is already a huge topic of conversation. I feel like I'll never meet my people and whilst I've been told "it takes time!" everyone seems to be in happy groups. I've been to multiple events and found nobody as everyone's in comfortable groups already.
I feel like switching universities is the only option but I don't want to drop out for the year because university is what I've worked for and I don't want to travel/stay at home.
I just feel so lonely and miserable at the minute it's hard to feel positive about my time here.
Any advice?
I'm also in the accommodation that is full of people who I know I have nothing common with, and there's a huge clubbing/drinking culture here that I really don't fit into (and all the other accoms are so far out from mine).
I just feel so alone and feeling like I can't make any friends, especially as 2nd year accom is already a huge topic of conversation. I feel like I'll never meet my people and whilst I've been told "it takes time!" everyone seems to be in happy groups. I've been to multiple events and found nobody as everyone's in comfortable groups already.
I feel like switching universities is the only option but I don't want to drop out for the year because university is what I've worked for and I don't want to travel/stay at home.
I just feel so lonely and miserable at the minute it's hard to feel positive about my time here.
Any advice?
@R4spB3rri3s
It's great that you already have acquaintances from your course and sports club. It may be that some of these acquaintances later on become some of your good friends : ) It may be that by spending more time with these acquaintances that these acquaintances become friendships. Perhaps you can invite them to go for coffee, to attend an event or to meet up on the weekend.
It's still early for the first year, so though it may seem that people are already hanging out with certain people, it doesn't mean that they're not interested in getting to know other people or that those groups are fixed! There is an element of vulnerability in trying to become friends with another person, but don't let that put you off trying. Groups are not always as closed as you think.
You could switch universities and still struggle to make friends, particularly as you will have already missed out on a lot of shared experiences so I don't think that's the best idea. You are enjoying your course and you like the city so those are two great reasons to stay!
It might be an idea though to reach out to family and to the contact the wellbeing and support services so that they can provide you with ideas, help and support.
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
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