Hating uni. What to do?

So I only started lectures this week, I feel as if this course isn't right for me at all. I can't imagine doing it for 3 years. I just feel that uni in general may not be right for me, I can't deal with all this private study for hours and hours every week. I can't motivate myself to do it.

I get on with my flatmates and have met some good people, but I feel I won't be able to hack uni. It probably sounds stupid after just a few lectures but this is how I feel.

I don't really know what to do, if I were to quit uni, what would I do instead? Also I've already signed a contract for accomodation for the year so that money would be truly wasted. Is there anyway to get some money back?

I'm feeling horribly depressed, I've never felt anything like this, also I haven't told my parents how I feel, I get on with my family really well and I feel absolutely **** even though I saw them just 3 days ago.

To sum up, I feel as though I hate my course, even though it's early days, do I stick with it for a while? I feel uni isn't for me, I miss my family. I want to leave but what would I do instead? I feel like a failure. What do I do?

Reply 1

Rachel0

I'd recommend you go speak to your personal tutor and see what they think and what advice and support they can offer you.

From personal experience I'd say if you don't feel your course is right for you, but something else would be, then make steps to change as early as possible.

However, if you're considering dropping out of uni altogether make sure you discuss it with your personal tutor a lot before you make any decisions and, if you do, have a plan in mind of what you're going to do as soon as you've dropped out.

Whatever you decide to do, you're not a failure at all, you just have to do what's best for you. You're really brave to admit how you're feeling about everything - uni can be really difficult, I just hope everything works out for you :smile:

Reply 2

CR-19

Original post by Rachel0

Thanks for the reply, I think I'll see how it goes for the rest of this week. The problem is I don't know what my back up plan would be, also I'm wasting almost 5 grand on accomodation amongst other things I've bought, just so overwhelmed by it all. Im going home for the weekend so I guess ill tell my parents then, haven't even met my tutor yet.

Reply 3

Clearing and Applications Advisor

Original post by CR-19

Have you spoken to anyone in your lectures/on your course?

Maybe ask around and see if anyone is interested in being study mates with you - I struggled with motivating myself to study. In the end I got into a routine that involved
- turning up to every lecture (no excuses)
- sitting at the front (so I was visible to the lecturer and couldn't get away with dicking about and also ended up sat with the other people who were making an effort in the lecture too)
- finding people who were interested in the subject and motivated to do well to hang around with and work with during the day between lectures. We'd spend most of the day working (and sometimes mucking about) which meant that we all got most of our coursework etc finished during the day and had the evenings free. In my case the people I ended up working with on my course were all mature students/commuting in. I learnt much more from them than I did from any lecture :biggrin:

These things might not work for you but it's worth a try - studying alone is really dull and really easy to get wrong and struggle with. With company you can test out ideas and bounce thoughts around and keep each other motivated.

I'm feeling horribly depressed, I've never felt anything like this, also I haven't told my parents how I feel, I get on with my family really well and I feel absolutely **** even though I saw them just 3 days ago.

I dropped out of my course and started again elsewhere (decided to drop out in the Feb). My parents also had no idea that I was so unhappy.

I wish I'd told them - they might not have been able to "fix" things but it would have felt really good to have someone on my side who knew me well to help me figure out what to do. Instead I ended up muddling through on my own and coming up with a plan to get me into a place (physically, academically and emotionally) where I could be happier.

Let them know that you're unhappy - you'll feel better about not keeping things from them if you do.

To sum up, I feel as though I hate my course, even though it's early days, do I stick with it for a while? I feel uni isn't for me, I miss my family. I want to leave but what would I do instead? I feel like a failure. What do I do?

So many people feel like this when they first get to uni - you've changed city, housemates, routine and you've got to get your head around a new way of learning.

I would suggest sticking with it - if you want to find a happier place you need to understand what it is about your situation that is making you miserable - and so many things have changed in your life right now that it's hard to pick out what the problem is in order to put it right.

Sticking with it is tough - i would recommend putting in a bit of effort now (to meet people on your course, talk to lecturers about your subject (you might find that the course content for this year *will* be naff but that in your second year you get to do the fun stuff), talk to your family about how you're feeling (or email/message them if you can't deal with the conversation over the phone/in person!) and talk to your friends at uni too - you might be surprised how many people feel the same.

Finally just because you're "sticking with it" doesn't mean withdraw and plod through - you're in a new place with new opportunities and new clubs/societies - if you love swimming then join the swimming club, if you've always wanted to try it join the skydiving club, always wanted to learn a language - there's probably a course at the uni, interested in history? - visit the local museums...try and pick out 1 thing a week that you COULDN'T do if you were still at home and go out and do it.

Reply 4

Fashion Girl

First of all, what uni is this out of curiosity ? There is every likelihood that your uni has a support service for students in place where you can discuss in confidentiality about the issues you face at uni. If you can't talk to your parents, and I'll just be honest here, most students can't and if given the option, won't, because their parents seem to be too busy with their own life..."hey! retirement just kicked in! your son or daughter has left for uni! this is the ideal time for that long drive through the autumn trees in a red sportscar in Madison Valley and meeting up with your fellow retired friends = the United States!"... :dots:

At my uni, its called the Peer Counselling society and I'm a Peer Counsellor myself :smile:

!

So, my advice would be to either stick with uni, and find a study routine that works for you, and one that actually works for you because at the end of the day your at uni to study, not spend endless hours only having fun with friends. Or apply for an apprenticeship! Apprenticeships have a good work-social life balance and if you would really like to get into work right away, it could be an ideal option for you.

The student advice society can help you select a study pattern tailored to your interest of working, or read up on self-help books to motivate you...second hand bookshops and I think the library as well, usually have a good selection of self-help books...