I Need Help . . . I Hurt Him Badly
I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, and I never thought I would ever do this to him. We would talk for hours every day, and we used to tell each other every detail of what we did. Before I cheated, we were those people in public giving each other doe eyes and making everyone uncomfortable with our great relationship. Before I cheated, I always thought cheating was what total sluts do, and I thought I wasn't a total slut. I even avoided getting into situations where I think there was a chance I might feel tempted to maybe cheat. But, I ****ed up.
I went to a party with a university group over the weekend. I thought it was just going to be a regular camping trip. There was one guy there that had expressed an interest in me before then, and I vehemently told him no and I built up enough of a disgust response to the idea of touching him that I felt safe. I knew everyone else there pretty well (or so I thought), and I felt safe getting wasted and high around them. It was fine at first; all I did was talk around a campfire and relax. Then, this guy that didn't talk much before started talking to me and following me when I alternated between the cabin and the campfire. Let's just call him John. I would announce to the group that I was going, and he'd say "I was going to go anyway as well." We started talking about all this stuff we had in common, such as our majors, our experiences with depression, internet chat rooms we realized we had frequented around the same time, and that sort of stuff. I thought he was kind of cute, but I didn't plan to do anything. A couch cleared off, and I was tired of sitting on the uncomfortable floor, so I sat there. And, of course, John sat next to me. I felt kind of sleepy from being so wasted, so I rested my head on his shoulder. I thought it was more of a friendly gesture than anything. But, he viewed it the way most people would, as an invitation.
He kissed me, and in a somewhat surprised and drunken state, I kissed him back. I felt all giddy like some little kid who was just given a candy bar, and, when he kissed me again, I kissed him back. Then, I realized, "Wait, wtf am I doing???" I felt really horny at this point, but I told him, "I have a boyfriend, I really shouldn't be doing this." So, he said, "Then, I guess we shouldn't do anything else, huh?" in a sort of teasing way. I said once again that we shouldn't, but I didn't move away from him or anything. We kept sitting there with my head resting on his shoulder, and we kissed again. I said we shouldn't do that, but I still kissed him back. He offered me more to drink, and I drank it.
Eventually, we were kicked off the couch and we went outside. I said I should probably go to sleep, and he said, "Okay." We stood outside the tent, and he kissed me again. I felt so fuzzy headed and horny I just kept kissing him. When he started to grope me, I groped him back. It just got worse from there when he said he was going to go to bed too. (We already planned on sharing a multi-room tent, so we were basically in the same tent.) We got in there, and I said I really shouldn't, I have a boyfriend. We made an agreement to not have intercourse because that would be worse. He had wine with him, and he offered more for me to drink. Being a total ****ing idiot, I drank more of it. I won't go into detail, but we ended up having oral sex and cuddling (which is what I feel the worst about.) As I sort-of sobered up, I kept doing things because I felt like I was justified by minor relationship issues I had at the time with my boyfriend.
When I woke up the next morning, everything felt so unreal. I felt like what happened the night before didn't happen. I mean, how could it happen? I didn't plan for that to happen and I'm not the kind of girl that does that, right? I saw John next to me and he was smiling. To make things even more confusing, I felt like smiling back. I didn't even ****ing know him really, and I did that. I eventually got my **** together, and asked him if there was any chance he had an STD. He said that he had sex with one other person, and that he didn't know them very well. He had used protection, but he wasn't certain about his STI status. He said that he'd be willing to get tested, and I said I'd need to consider it. I then just ended up ranting about how I never thought I would do that and how I'm a total slut now. John, of course, disagreed, but I kept insisting I was a totally horrible person. He said not to use labels on myself, and I was just like, "Pffft, whatever." He had to leave fairly early, so I got his number and planned to meet up with him to talk about what happened.
As soon as he left, I called my boyfriend. I woke him up, and I asked him if he wanted to talk right now. He said, "Of course. Is something wrong?" I asked him, "Are you ready for bad news? Like, really bad news?" He said, "Uh...sure. What is it?" So, I told him, "I got really drunk and high last night, like you advised me not to, and I ended up sleeping with somebody. We didn't have intercourse, but we did go pretty far. I don't know what else I can say other than I'm sorry." He was silent for a while, and I said, "If you're mad at me, please just let it out at me. I deserve it." He responded, "I am angry, but I'm not going to be mean to you. I don't think it would do any good." That broke my heart even more than him calling me foul names. I said, "Okay." We stayed on the phone a bit longer, neither of us talking, and he asked, "Um, is there anything else I should know?" I said, "Um, I ended up having oral sex, so I need to get an STI test. And, the other guy said that he'd be willing to get one. Do you want him to?" My boyfriend said yes, and then we were silent again. I then asked him, "How do you feel?" He said, "I don't know; I think it's really weird. I feel sick to my stomach." I said, "Um, I think that would be fairly normal." We set a time to talk to each other later, and we said goodbye to each other.
I felt so confused the rest of the day. Part of me had all those gooey feelings someone would have towards a crush towards John, and another part of me felt like utter and complete **** for doing that to my boyfriend. I felt so confused about whether or not I wanted to stay in a relationship with my boyfriend. I had no idea what to do. I ended up talking to the person who drove me home about how guilty and uncertain I felt. By the end, I still didn't know what to do.
When I got back, I spoke to my boyfriend over Skype. He didn't want to be in the same room as me. He felt too disgusted. He told me a long list of the emotions he felt over the course of the day, which was basically that he felt like complete ****, even more so than I expected. He also asked more questions about what happened, such as who started it, why I kept doing it, and who else I spoke to about it and what they said. He very obviously looked like he wanted to be really pissed at me, so I said that he could. But, once again, he said that he wouldn't say mean things to me. I felt like such ****, I felt like a deserved to die and burn in Hell for what happened. I thought, "Well, ****, it doesn't matter if I kill myself. I'm already going to burn (if Hell even exists)." So, while I was in a video call, I started taking sleeping pills out of cases and putting them in a cup. I kept talking to my boyfriend while I did this, and I said, "I need to go now." He asked what I was doing before, and I said that didn't matter. I started to hang up, but then he got really panic-y. He said that he had to know what was going on. I said that I deserved to die, and that's what I was going to do. He then got really concerned about me, and said that he didn't even feel angry at that moment. He said that he loved me, and he would never want me to hurt myself like that. I felt even ****tier. I wanted to go and end it, but then I didn't want to hurt him more. I just stayed in the video call for 4 hours more, and cried every time he tried to do something nice for me. I texted John and told him I didn't want to talk to him as a friend, but I said I want him to get tested for STD’s. He sent me an asshurt text back, and then I went to bed.
I know that my boyfriend is disgusted by the idea of touching me in a sexual or intimate way. He also is feeling severely depressed (he won't eat anything), and he won't talk to any of his friends because they know me and he'd feel embarrassed about it. He also won't go to a therapist or anything like that because of money. I feel like such a bitch for doing this to him, and I have no idea of what to do to make him feel better. I feel like ****, but I want to know if there's anything I could do or say beyond what I've done to help him? I truly ****ed up, and I don't want my boyfriend to suffer for my mistake. Help?
I went to a party with a university group over the weekend. I thought it was just going to be a regular camping trip. There was one guy there that had expressed an interest in me before then, and I vehemently told him no and I built up enough of a disgust response to the idea of touching him that I felt safe. I knew everyone else there pretty well (or so I thought), and I felt safe getting wasted and high around them. It was fine at first; all I did was talk around a campfire and relax. Then, this guy that didn't talk much before started talking to me and following me when I alternated between the cabin and the campfire. Let's just call him John. I would announce to the group that I was going, and he'd say "I was going to go anyway as well." We started talking about all this stuff we had in common, such as our majors, our experiences with depression, internet chat rooms we realized we had frequented around the same time, and that sort of stuff. I thought he was kind of cute, but I didn't plan to do anything. A couch cleared off, and I was tired of sitting on the uncomfortable floor, so I sat there. And, of course, John sat next to me. I felt kind of sleepy from being so wasted, so I rested my head on his shoulder. I thought it was more of a friendly gesture than anything. But, he viewed it the way most people would, as an invitation.
He kissed me, and in a somewhat surprised and drunken state, I kissed him back. I felt all giddy like some little kid who was just given a candy bar, and, when he kissed me again, I kissed him back. Then, I realized, "Wait, wtf am I doing???" I felt really horny at this point, but I told him, "I have a boyfriend, I really shouldn't be doing this." So, he said, "Then, I guess we shouldn't do anything else, huh?" in a sort of teasing way. I said once again that we shouldn't, but I didn't move away from him or anything. We kept sitting there with my head resting on his shoulder, and we kissed again. I said we shouldn't do that, but I still kissed him back. He offered me more to drink, and I drank it.
Eventually, we were kicked off the couch and we went outside. I said I should probably go to sleep, and he said, "Okay." We stood outside the tent, and he kissed me again. I felt so fuzzy headed and horny I just kept kissing him. When he started to grope me, I groped him back. It just got worse from there when he said he was going to go to bed too. (We already planned on sharing a multi-room tent, so we were basically in the same tent.) We got in there, and I said I really shouldn't, I have a boyfriend. We made an agreement to not have intercourse because that would be worse. He had wine with him, and he offered more for me to drink. Being a total ****ing idiot, I drank more of it. I won't go into detail, but we ended up having oral sex and cuddling (which is what I feel the worst about.) As I sort-of sobered up, I kept doing things because I felt like I was justified by minor relationship issues I had at the time with my boyfriend.
When I woke up the next morning, everything felt so unreal. I felt like what happened the night before didn't happen. I mean, how could it happen? I didn't plan for that to happen and I'm not the kind of girl that does that, right? I saw John next to me and he was smiling. To make things even more confusing, I felt like smiling back. I didn't even ****ing know him really, and I did that. I eventually got my **** together, and asked him if there was any chance he had an STD. He said that he had sex with one other person, and that he didn't know them very well. He had used protection, but he wasn't certain about his STI status. He said that he'd be willing to get tested, and I said I'd need to consider it. I then just ended up ranting about how I never thought I would do that and how I'm a total slut now. John, of course, disagreed, but I kept insisting I was a totally horrible person. He said not to use labels on myself, and I was just like, "Pffft, whatever." He had to leave fairly early, so I got his number and planned to meet up with him to talk about what happened.
As soon as he left, I called my boyfriend. I woke him up, and I asked him if he wanted to talk right now. He said, "Of course. Is something wrong?" I asked him, "Are you ready for bad news? Like, really bad news?" He said, "Uh...sure. What is it?" So, I told him, "I got really drunk and high last night, like you advised me not to, and I ended up sleeping with somebody. We didn't have intercourse, but we did go pretty far. I don't know what else I can say other than I'm sorry." He was silent for a while, and I said, "If you're mad at me, please just let it out at me. I deserve it." He responded, "I am angry, but I'm not going to be mean to you. I don't think it would do any good." That broke my heart even more than him calling me foul names. I said, "Okay." We stayed on the phone a bit longer, neither of us talking, and he asked, "Um, is there anything else I should know?" I said, "Um, I ended up having oral sex, so I need to get an STI test. And, the other guy said that he'd be willing to get one. Do you want him to?" My boyfriend said yes, and then we were silent again. I then asked him, "How do you feel?" He said, "I don't know; I think it's really weird. I feel sick to my stomach." I said, "Um, I think that would be fairly normal." We set a time to talk to each other later, and we said goodbye to each other.
I felt so confused the rest of the day. Part of me had all those gooey feelings someone would have towards a crush towards John, and another part of me felt like utter and complete **** for doing that to my boyfriend. I felt so confused about whether or not I wanted to stay in a relationship with my boyfriend. I had no idea what to do. I ended up talking to the person who drove me home about how guilty and uncertain I felt. By the end, I still didn't know what to do.
When I got back, I spoke to my boyfriend over Skype. He didn't want to be in the same room as me. He felt too disgusted. He told me a long list of the emotions he felt over the course of the day, which was basically that he felt like complete ****, even more so than I expected. He also asked more questions about what happened, such as who started it, why I kept doing it, and who else I spoke to about it and what they said. He very obviously looked like he wanted to be really pissed at me, so I said that he could. But, once again, he said that he wouldn't say mean things to me. I felt like such ****, I felt like a deserved to die and burn in Hell for what happened. I thought, "Well, ****, it doesn't matter if I kill myself. I'm already going to burn (if Hell even exists)." So, while I was in a video call, I started taking sleeping pills out of cases and putting them in a cup. I kept talking to my boyfriend while I did this, and I said, "I need to go now." He asked what I was doing before, and I said that didn't matter. I started to hang up, but then he got really panic-y. He said that he had to know what was going on. I said that I deserved to die, and that's what I was going to do. He then got really concerned about me, and said that he didn't even feel angry at that moment. He said that he loved me, and he would never want me to hurt myself like that. I felt even ****tier. I wanted to go and end it, but then I didn't want to hurt him more. I just stayed in the video call for 4 hours more, and cried every time he tried to do something nice for me. I texted John and told him I didn't want to talk to him as a friend, but I said I want him to get tested for STD’s. He sent me an asshurt text back, and then I went to bed.
I know that my boyfriend is disgusted by the idea of touching me in a sexual or intimate way. He also is feeling severely depressed (he won't eat anything), and he won't talk to any of his friends because they know me and he'd feel embarrassed about it. He also won't go to a therapist or anything like that because of money. I feel like such a bitch for doing this to him, and I have no idea of what to do to make him feel better. I feel like ****, but I want to know if there's anything I could do or say beyond what I've done to help him? I truly ****ed up, and I don't want my boyfriend to suffer for my mistake. Help?
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No. You did completely the right thing to tell him straight away. You have been very matter of fact and your boyfriend will appreciate this. You also know that the 'disgust' is a temporary reaction where he is trying to reconcile this information with his view of you. There is nothing you can do but be faithful, and do not, I repeat, DO NOT over egg the pudding. Do not keep coming back to it or constantly bringing it up and being sorry. Because that makes it seem like you're hiding something and generally puts you in a negativer state of mind 
hope this helps
hope this helpsOriginal post by SK3PTIK4L
No. You did completely the right thing to tell him straight away. You have been very matter of fact and your boyfriend will appreciate this. You also know that the 'disgust' is a temporary reaction where he is trying to reconcile this information with his view of you. There is nothing you can do but be faithful, and do not, I repeat, DO NOT over egg the pudding. Do not keep coming back to it or constantly bringing it up and being sorry. Because that makes it seem like you're hiding something and generally puts you in a negativer state of mind hope this helps
hope this helpsThank you! I've been saying sorry constantly to my boyfriend since it happened, and someone telling me that's a bad idea makes so much sense. I really appreciate this.
Original post by TheAmericanGrl93
He very obviously looked like he wanted to be really pissed at me, so I said that he could.
This was the one thing that stood out. He doesn't need your permission to be annoyed. You betrayed his trust.
Just give him space and allow him to come to his own conclusion.
I'd dump your ass.
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Original post by has_700
ok love no need to write a novel
no sympathy. You could get off to it if you were enough of a deviant or didn't have porn 
Original post by a chinese loser
You pretending or trying to commit suicide in a way to keep him is too ****ing low.
He should ****ing dump ur ****ing ass
Do him a favour and leave him. He deserves better. You cant even control urself u slag
Theres no reason to commit suicide, just think in your head. What you did, now leave him. Get on with your life. He will never be the same now with you because you cheated.
Sorry if its harsh, but this is reality. So yea... suicide is NOT an option. Just move on, let him go. You do not deserve him.
He should ****ing dump ur ****ing ass
Do him a favour and leave him. He deserves better. You cant even control urself u slag
Theres no reason to commit suicide, just think in your head. What you did, now leave him. Get on with your life. He will never be the same now with you because you cheated.
Sorry if its harsh, but this is reality. So yea... suicide is NOT an option. Just move on, let him go. You do not deserve him.
Bitches be crazy. But tbh its the guys decision, not hers.
(edited 10 years ago)
Okay, I'm going to say this nicely, but I think you need to hear it. Please don't take it as a reason to harm yourself or feel worse, because it's not.
What I got from that was that, whilst you were clearly upset for your boyfriend, there was also a lot of emphasis on your feelings. If you want to do the completely correct thing, you need to forget about how you feel completely. There is no easy way to make this go away - you are about to encounter the consequences of your actions, and the most honourable thing to do is stand up and take it.
I do actually sympathise with you. You did exactly the right thing in the way you broke the news. I fully believe you were negligent rather than malevolent in what you did, and probably didn't understand or think about the implications. Unfortunately the world isn't kind and doesn't give second chances. Negligence in another situation could easily leave you dead or in prison, and itwon't matter what your intentions were. Take this as a valuable lesson - prevention is better than cure.
Good luck in getting through this. Don't be too hard on yourself, but put your boyfriend first, and accept these next few weeks as a lesson and warning. I also strongly recommend reading some of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations if you feel overwhelmed. It's a fantastic way of putting your life in perspective - I use it all the time. x
What I got from that was that, whilst you were clearly upset for your boyfriend, there was also a lot of emphasis on your feelings. If you want to do the completely correct thing, you need to forget about how you feel completely. There is no easy way to make this go away - you are about to encounter the consequences of your actions, and the most honourable thing to do is stand up and take it.
I do actually sympathise with you. You did exactly the right thing in the way you broke the news. I fully believe you were negligent rather than malevolent in what you did, and probably didn't understand or think about the implications. Unfortunately the world isn't kind and doesn't give second chances. Negligence in another situation could easily leave you dead or in prison, and itwon't matter what your intentions were. Take this as a valuable lesson - prevention is better than cure.
Good luck in getting through this. Don't be too hard on yourself, but put your boyfriend first, and accept these next few weeks as a lesson and warning. I also strongly recommend reading some of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations if you feel overwhelmed. It's a fantastic way of putting your life in perspective - I use it all the time. x
I didn't do that to keep him. The only reason he asked and worried was because of my history with clinical depression and suicidal ideation, and it is just instinct for me to be truthful with him about that. I planned on doing that so that I wouldn't feel like this. For someone who deals with overwhelming emotions like this, it's really hard to logically convince them of anything. In a more rational state of mind, I realize it is a cowardly thing to do in my situation. I have to suck it up and deal with it however it turns out.
The primary reason I cheated was because I was drunk and high. I never did either before, so I had no idea that they would so markedly affect me. I also find it weird that I remember everything with such clarity, but that's besides the point. I only thought it was going to be a woodland experience with friends and drugs, not a way for me to cheat on my boyfriend. Like anyone else, I've felt tempted in the past, but I've never done anything before because I had all of my inhibitions and moral clarity with me. I never plan on getting that wasted again in a group of people.
Of course he'll never be the same. What I did severely impacted him, and he'll probably have some level of distrust towards my fidelity for a long time. However, I can't know what the relationship will be after this. It'll surely be worse for some time, but after that? If he wants to see where that goes, I have a high degree of certainty that it would be a better relationship than either of us would find otherwise. We both have characteristics that are rare to find in combination (we've looked at the statistics), and it would be unusual to find someone else that compatible. Our relationship might not be as great as if we didn't cheat, but, if he wants it to last, I think it'll work.
Btw, I found your comment pretty constructive. I was pretty much thinking the same things you said, but, it's much easier to think about things from a different angle when it's someone else saying the ****ty things I'm thinking to myself. Thanks.
The primary reason I cheated was because I was drunk and high. I never did either before, so I had no idea that they would so markedly affect me. I also find it weird that I remember everything with such clarity, but that's besides the point. I only thought it was going to be a woodland experience with friends and drugs, not a way for me to cheat on my boyfriend. Like anyone else, I've felt tempted in the past, but I've never done anything before because I had all of my inhibitions and moral clarity with me. I never plan on getting that wasted again in a group of people.
Of course he'll never be the same. What I did severely impacted him, and he'll probably have some level of distrust towards my fidelity for a long time. However, I can't know what the relationship will be after this. It'll surely be worse for some time, but after that? If he wants to see where that goes, I have a high degree of certainty that it would be a better relationship than either of us would find otherwise. We both have characteristics that are rare to find in combination (we've looked at the statistics), and it would be unusual to find someone else that compatible. Our relationship might not be as great as if we didn't cheat, but, if he wants it to last, I think it'll work.
Btw, I found your comment pretty constructive. I was pretty much thinking the same things you said, but, it's much easier to think about things from a different angle when it's someone else saying the ****ty things I'm thinking to myself. Thanks.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Octohedral
Okay, I'm going to say this nicely, but I think you need to hear it. Please don't take it as a reason to harm yourself or feel worse, because it's not.
What I got from that was that, whilst you were clearly upset for your boyfriend, there was also a lot of emphasis on your feelings. If you want to do the completely correct thing, you need to forget about how you feel completely. There is no easy way to make this go away - you are about to encounter the consequences of your actions, and the most honourable thing to do is stand up and take it.
I do actually sympathise with you. You did exactly the right thing in the way you broke the news. I fully believe you were negligent rather than malevolent in what you did, and probably didn't understand or think about the implications. Unfortunately the world isn't kind and doesn't give second chances. Negligence in another situation could easily leave you dead or in prison, and itwon't matter what your intentions were. Take this as a valuable lesson - prevention is better than cure.
Good luck in getting through this. Don't be too hard on yourself, but put your boyfriend first, and accept these next few weeks as a lesson and warning. I also strongly recommend reading some of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations if you feel overwhelmed. It's a fantastic way of putting your life in perspective - I use it all the time. x
What I got from that was that, whilst you were clearly upset for your boyfriend, there was also a lot of emphasis on your feelings. If you want to do the completely correct thing, you need to forget about how you feel completely. There is no easy way to make this go away - you are about to encounter the consequences of your actions, and the most honourable thing to do is stand up and take it.
I do actually sympathise with you. You did exactly the right thing in the way you broke the news. I fully believe you were negligent rather than malevolent in what you did, and probably didn't understand or think about the implications. Unfortunately the world isn't kind and doesn't give second chances. Negligence in another situation could easily leave you dead or in prison, and itwon't matter what your intentions were. Take this as a valuable lesson - prevention is better than cure.
Good luck in getting through this. Don't be too hard on yourself, but put your boyfriend first, and accept these next few weeks as a lesson and warning. I also strongly recommend reading some of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations if you feel overwhelmed. It's a fantastic way of putting your life in perspective - I use it all the time. x
Thanks.
Original post by TheAmericanGrl93
The primary reason I cheated was because I was drunk and high.
The primary reason I cheated was because I was drunk and high.
Yeah that aint an excuse. You didn't cheat because of alcohol and weed.
It's a myth that people "aren't themselves" or whatever bull they say due to being stoned & drunk. You loose your inhibitions (which is why I personally love it) and do things you want to do sober, but can't for whatever reason.
Honestly, you nearly shagging some guy is on you, blaming alcohol or weed makes you sound a child.
Original post by awaisraza
If you were a muslim this would never have happend, so i suggest you convert to islam, no need to thank me
Is there any need to preach your cult on a relationship thread? Go back to the religion forum.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Gjaykay
Yeah that aint an excuse. You didn't cheat because of alcohol and weed.
It's a myth that people "aren't themselves" or whatever bull they say due to being stoned & drunk. You loose your inhibitions (which is why I personally love it) and do things you want to do sober, but can't for whatever reason.
Honestly, you nearly shagging some guy is on you, blaming alcohol or weed makes you sound a child.
It's a myth that people "aren't themselves" or whatever bull they say due to being stoned & drunk. You loose your inhibitions (which is why I personally love it) and do things you want to do sober, but can't for whatever reason.
Honestly, you nearly shagging some guy is on you, blaming alcohol or weed makes you sound a child.
Completely ****ing agree.
I know for a fact that I can control myself especially when i drink and get high. It is just an excuse. You have full control.
If you love or care about someone, you would say "no" and avoid any "cheating", regardless if you are high or drunk. You most likely wanted it and didn't give a **** about your boyfriend, which is what would happen as a result of weed and alcohol.
Getting high or drunk is not a ****ing excuse, tired of seeing people use that **** excuse. I do that **** and I can control myself. My friends do that **** and they can control themselves. Why is it that I always see girls use that **** excuse?
(edited 10 years ago)
Give him some space...he'll need time to think things over.
Also, being drunk is the lamest and most pathetic excuse in the world for cheating.
Also, being drunk is the lamest and most pathetic excuse in the world for cheating.
Original post by TheAmericanGrl93
Thank you! I've been saying sorry constantly to my boyfriend since it happened, and someone telling me that's a bad idea makes so much sense. I really appreciate this.
Ffs!! I'm so sorry about those other idiots on the first page.
Can I just say you are most definitely not a slut!!!
Its not like youve done it several times or something. Its really insensitive of people to be taking the piss when you're clearly in quite a desperate situation.
As for how to get him to trust you im not sure sorry but just seriously don't drink.
I'm sorry I'm really not that religious but now I see why Islam prohibits alcohol and drugs.
Original post by Holby_fanatic
This was the one thing that stood out. He doesn't need your permission to be annoyed. You betrayed his trust.
Just give him space and allow him to come to his own conclusion.
Just give him space and allow him to come to his own conclusion.
yeah i saw that as well - and my thought was "well how ****ing gracious of you"
Original post by awaisraza
If you were a muslim this would never have happend, so i suggest you convert to islam, no need to thank me
yeah right - ive seen more than one "muslim" cheating
OP ive no sympathy for you - make all the excuses you want - you cheated, you destroyed your boyfriends trust. I hope you feel really foul for a long time
(edited 10 years ago)
I hope he really does break up with you....sorry I'm not trying to be mean or anything but you cheated then you tried to justify it then you tried to od on sleeping pills news flash sister:IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! !!
Original post by Ayesha.Tabassam95
Ffs!! I'm so sorry about those other idiots on the first page.
Can I just say you are most definitely not a slut!!!
Its not like youve done it several times or something. Its really insensitive of people to be taking the piss when you're clearly in quite a desperate situation.
As for how to get him to trust you im not sure sorry but just seriously don't drink.
I'm sorry I'm really not that religious but now I see why Islam prohibits alcohol and drugs.
Can I just say you are most definitely not a slut!!!
Its not like youve done it several times or something. Its really insensitive of people to be taking the piss when you're clearly in quite a desperate situation.
As for how to get him to trust you im not sure sorry but just seriously don't drink.
I'm sorry I'm really not that religious but now I see why Islam prohibits alcohol and drugs.
lmfao, what, her main excuse was that she got high and drunk which was the sole reason for "cheating".
Total dog **** reason.
The fact is, the guy will never see her the same way. Will never trust her the same way. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
"OH I GOT REALLY DRUNK, COULDNT CONTROL MYSELF SO I ENDED UP CHEATING", A girls logic and reasoning behind cheating. Guys rarely would give such a ****ty excuse
I look down on OP especially for using the OD on sleeping pills, resulting to that to get attention of her boyfriend. So yea... Just leave this guy. He deserves better. Maybe you should fix up your act, understand what you did wrong and learn from your mistakes. Get into a fresh new relationship and not do the same mistake and not use such a ****ty excuse if it does happen again..
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by awaisraza
forgive me god
forgive me godOmg.. The level of abuse you're getting is shocking!!
True you shouldn't have said that to her cause she needs advice at the minute not what religion she should be following. But you did have a point.
I think the all the nasty have all accumulated in this one thread.
btw and good on you for arguing back but there's no point anymore 
The only thing i would suggest,is to do nothing now. Leave him be.Let him get his head around things and become accustomed to it. He will either accept what has happened and be able to forgive you or he won`t. But leave him to think things over for himself. When he`s ready to talk to you [with either the good news or the bad] he will talk to you.
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