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Dating advice?

So, the dating game is a bit odd for me:

1. I have Asperger's, so my responses to social situations may be "odd", because of stress, sensory overload, social anxiety, perfectionism, potential pessimism, shyness, over-talkativeness and the like. Also, my social skills aren't my best quality. :no:

2. I am genuinely and generally unattractive lol. No lie, I can be pretty insecure. Slim face, glasses, slight overbite, small ears, massive feet, "slobby" clothes etc.

3. I am trying to balance studies with social life, and studies is clearly winning right now.

4. I don't want to have to travel ages to see someone.

5. I'm pretty scared as I've never had a proper relationship before, (technically I have but they were never right, never committed, 5 measly weeks or so, and I've only had two, who were both, let's say not-nice people.) :frown:

6. I refuse to go on dating websites. Well actually most dating websites are 18+ so I would have to lie about my age (I'm 17). Also, I'm scared I'd end up being one of the unlucky ones, duped by a non-existing person or abused by a deceitful phoney and a stranger. So no way :noway:

7. I'm an inexperienced dater who is obviously a virgin and naturally curious and frightened and longing and "frigid" at the same time. :frown:

8. Some people may be put off by my bisexuality and feelings of "masculine" transgenderyness. :lovie:

9. Some people may be put off by my weirdness. :fleurdelis:

10. Not many people notice me.

So what can I do to get noticed? What can I do, according to you experienced, smart and lovely people to have a lasting, fulfilling and happy relationship? Where do I start? Any advice? :smile:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 1

Zarek

I do believe there is someone for everyone. Most everyone, apart from the very attractive set (and they get angst too), find dating challenging. It is typically about a lot of tenacity, working on your weaknesses and playing to your strengths. Is there a support organisation for Aspergers that could provide some help? Keep going, you will find love!

Reply 2

455409

If you're committed, make yourself more attractive and interesting. If you're not bothered enough about it then just wait it out and statistically speaking you're fairly likely to meet someone.

Reply 3

Rainbow Student

Original post by Zarek

Thanks and I dunno, I'll check that out.

Reply 4

Rainbow Student

Original post by james1211

If you're committed, make yourself more attractive and interesting. If you're not bothered enough about it then just wait it out and statistically speaking you're fairly likely to meet someone.

Fair enough :smile:

Reply 5

TheEssence

you've listed all your faults. List all the things that are great about you too. I know its not easy but i you don't love yourself, it will be hard for someone else to.