How to find a guy who actually likes me?

No guy has ever shown a romantic interest in me after getting to know me. I'm friendly to everyone and can get along with almost everyone but most guys usually don't seem to want to speak to me beyond the minimum required to not be rude. For guys who I have got to know more and am romantically interested in they haven't liked me back.

I've tried dating apps and dates seem to go well but then I can't get beyond a few dates before the guys lose interest and say they don't feel a romantic connection.

I am sometimes quite shy but it doesn't get in my way of trying to meet new people and make an effort with guys and although looks aren't important there's nothing wrong with how I look. But something isn't working so I'm not sure what to do? Everyone always says to "be yourself and the right person will come along" but I have done that for years and it hasn't worked. It's started to make me feel very lonely and unattractive. Does anyone have any advice?

Reply 1

JDINCINERATOR

21

Original post by Anonymous

No guy has ever shown a romantic interest in me after getting to know me. I'm friendly to everyone and can get along with almost everyone but most guys usually don't seem to want to speak to me beyond the minimum required to not be rude. For guys who I have got to know more and am romantically interested in they haven't liked me back.

I've tried dating apps and dates seem to go well but then I can't get beyond a few dates before the guys lose interest and say they don't feel a romantic connection.

I am sometimes quite shy but it doesn't get in my way of trying to meet new people and make an effort with guys and although looks aren't important there's nothing wrong with how I look. But something isn't working so I'm not sure what to do? Everyone always says to "be yourself and the right person will come along" but I have done that for years and it hasn't worked. It's started to make me feel very lonely and unattractive. Does anyone have any advice?

Try to reposition the way you think about things. Ok, so nobody seems interested in dating you, well then it's their loss they don't deserve what you've got to offer. If you feel lonely, reach out to people may feel the same way. I don't have many friends, I don't mind getting to know people on TSR I have no problems, but the problems stems from the insecurities of others or just not wanting to bother. You aren't unattractive either, sometimes it takes a very long time for you to become lucky. I've never had a girlfriend and I don't bother to look very much, doesn't bother me. You should be comfortable in your predicament and try to be someone in control of who you are and how you feel-don't feel unhappy, feel in control.

Reply 2

ThatOldGuy

19

There isn't enough information here.

How old are you? If you're 35, my advice will be way different to if you're 16.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ThatOldGuy

There isn't enough information here.

How old are you? If you're 35, my advice will be way different to if you're 16.

I'm in my mid twenties

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by JDINCINERATOR

Try to reposition the way you think about things. Ok, so nobody seems interested in dating you, well then it's their loss they don't deserve what you've got to offer. If you feel lonely, reach out to people may feel the same way. I don't have many friends, I don't mind getting to know people on TSR I have no problems, but the problems stems from the insecurities of others or just not wanting to bother. You aren't unattractive either, sometimes it takes a very long time for you to become lucky. I've never had a girlfriend and I don't bother to look very much, doesn't bother me. You should be comfortable in your predicament and try to be someone in control of who you are and how you feel-don't feel unhappy, feel in control.

Thanks for the advice :smile:

Reply 5

ThatOldGuy

19

Original post by Anonymous

I'm in my mid twenties

And you're still in university? I assume so, given that you're on a student website.

Okay - So then there are only a few reasons you'd not be able to find a guy who likes you.

1) Your standards are too high - You might have plenty of guys who like you. Just nobody you like back.
2) You suffer from mental health issues and hide away from the world. You have no hobbies, don't go out, and don't involve other people in your life.
3) You are incredibly unattractive, to the point that it would be a combination of looks and personality that drives people away.
4) Your vibe drives guys away.
5) You live in an area with no guys.

I'm going to be honest. It's -probably- not 3.I just had to put that there for completeness sake. Of those, which do you think sounds more like you? If you are repulsed by the guys who have expressed interest, it's probably 1. If you tend to hide in your room and have no hobbies or interests, it's probably 2.

3 is a little more tricky. I've known women who were incredibly attractive, fun and intelligent and had no one waiting for them.

Reply 6

Zarek

21

In my experience it can be difficult to find a good partner that you hit it off with. I would avoid dating apps and choose some hobbies and social activities where you will meet like minded people. Play to strengths do what you can on any perceived weaknesses. Flirt widely, get advice from more successful friends and more than anything keep the faith. Something works out when you least expect it

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for the responses everyone

How to find a guy who actually likes me?

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