Homewreckers, read this
Just want to get this out there as it really gets to me. I know there is nothing I or we, collectively can do about it as it is purely down to each and every individual and their personality, however:
I really hate it when people think they have the right to try and get with someone who already has a boyfriend/girlfriend. Why do people think they have a right to try and coax people into liking them/someone become close to (with the intention of forming a relationship) with someone who already has a partner?
Do people not understand that if someone is taken they are off the market? Even if their relationship isn't going very well. You coming along trying to be Mr Right isn't going to make things any better.
If someone you like has a girlfriend or a boyfriend, don't even bother. Most people on here won't approve of it and aren't going to help you destroy someone's relationship, so don't bring your "I like her but she has a boyfriend" threads here. There's enough people out there, find your own man/woman, and don't steal someone else's.
I don't want to know about stories where you have wrecked someone's relationship and then got with the person involved and you have been happy ever after for x number of years, either. Yes, it does happen. But it's not right. Moreover, your relationship is a joke if it formed through some sort of cheating with a previous partner i.e. your boyfriend cheated on his ex girlfriend to be with you.
Thanks for reading
I really hate it when people think they have the right to try and get with someone who already has a boyfriend/girlfriend. Why do people think they have a right to try and coax people into liking them/someone become close to (with the intention of forming a relationship) with someone who already has a partner?
Do people not understand that if someone is taken they are off the market? Even if their relationship isn't going very well. You coming along trying to be Mr Right isn't going to make things any better.
If someone you like has a girlfriend or a boyfriend, don't even bother. Most people on here won't approve of it and aren't going to help you destroy someone's relationship, so don't bring your "I like her but she has a boyfriend" threads here. There's enough people out there, find your own man/woman, and don't steal someone else's.
I don't want to know about stories where you have wrecked someone's relationship and then got with the person involved and you have been happy ever after for x number of years, either. Yes, it does happen. But it's not right. Moreover, your relationship is a joke if it formed through some sort of cheating with a previous partner i.e. your boyfriend cheated on his ex girlfriend to be with you.
Thanks for reading
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Nah. I reject that.
For me, the third-party has very little responsibility. Firstly, they don't know the full details of the existing couple's relationship. Secondly, it's almost all on the person that decides to go with them.
Girl wants to get with boy; boy already has gf. It's almost all on him. I'd say 99%.
For me, the third-party has very little responsibility. Firstly, they don't know the full details of the existing couple's relationship. Secondly, it's almost all on the person that decides to go with them.
Girl wants to get with boy; boy already has gf. It's almost all on him. I'd say 99%.
I don't agree with cheating at all- I have been cheated on before- but sometimes when you are in a relationship and its not going well we DO sometimes find someone we might be a better fit with... it all depends on when they come around. So, people may break up to be with the newly found person who they have stronger feelings for. Love is not always fair.
It takes two to tango, its not just the single person "coaxing" the other away- if there is attraction then its likely to be felt by the one in a relationship too- just because you are dating someone doesn't mean they are the one, or you will be together forever- **** happens.
(disclaimer: not speaking from current experience, my boyfriend is the most wonderful person I have ever met)
It takes two to tango, its not just the single person "coaxing" the other away- if there is attraction then its likely to be felt by the one in a relationship too- just because you are dating someone doesn't mean they are the one, or you will be together forever- **** happens.
(disclaimer: not speaking from current experience, my boyfriend is the most wonderful person I have ever met)
^Echo the 2nd post. I would agree that a person who relentlessly pursues someone in a relationship is certainly stepping way outside his boundaries, but let's say the taken person initiates it all with the single person. In such a situation the single person has no responsibility towards the couple and their relationship, unless of course they personally know the bf/gf of the person who's about to cheat. Responsibility is 100% with the person doing the cheating
You're looking to far into it. I'm not suggesting whose fault it is. Irrespective of whose decision it is to make the move, the fact of the matter is that someone who continues to pursue a person with the clear intention of being their partner, when that person already has a partner, is just wrong. It shows a complete lack of what I'd call a 'decent' person.
If it happened to you, and you lost your partner after being together for a few years, simply because someone else got involved and tried to get with her/him and succeeded, would you like it? Maybe you wouldn't care, no. But you'd probably find most people would.
We could have a great discussion on whose to blame for the 'cheating' but in reality no cheating would occur as a direct result of a third party's doings if no-one else got involved, and that's what I'm talking about. Someone's taken? Move on.
Maybe I'm just too traditional, but I'm sure many would agree with me.
If it happened to you, and you lost your partner after being together for a few years, simply because someone else got involved and tried to get with her/him and succeeded, would you like it? Maybe you wouldn't care, no. But you'd probably find most people would.
We could have a great discussion on whose to blame for the 'cheating' but in reality no cheating would occur as a direct result of a third party's doings if no-one else got involved, and that's what I'm talking about. Someone's taken? Move on.
Maybe I'm just too traditional, but I'm sure many would agree with me.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by lee1985
You're looking to far into it. I'm not suggesting whose fault it is. Irrespective of whose decision it is to make the move, the fact of the matter is that someone who continues to pursue a person with the clear intention of being their partner, when that person already has a partner, is just wrong. It shows a complete lack of what I'd call a 'decent' person.
If it happened to you, and you lost your partner after being together for a few years, simply because someone else got involved and tried to get with her/him and succeeded, would you like it? Maybe you wouldn't care, no. But you'd probably find most people would.
We could have a great discussion on whose to blame for the 'cheating' but in reality no cheating would occur if no-one else got involved, and that's what I'm talking about. Someone's taken? Move on.
Maybe I'm just too traditional, but I'm sure many would agree with me.
If it happened to you, and you lost your partner after being together for a few years, simply because someone else got involved and tried to get with her/him and succeeded, would you like it? Maybe you wouldn't care, no. But you'd probably find most people would.
We could have a great discussion on whose to blame for the 'cheating' but in reality no cheating would occur if no-one else got involved, and that's what I'm talking about. Someone's taken? Move on.
Maybe I'm just too traditional, but I'm sure many would agree with me.
its not likely that it was ALL due to the other person getting involved.... there must have been underlying issues and the partner just decided for some reason they were better off with the new person. If everything was great, no matter who got "involved" it wouldnt result in a break up.
Original post by Clip
Nah. I reject that.
For me, the third-party has very little responsibility. Firstly, they don't know the full details of the existing couple's relationship. Secondly, it's almost all on the person that decides to go with them.
Girl wants to get with boy; boy already has gf. It's almost all on him. I'd say 99%.
For me, the third-party has very little responsibility. Firstly, they don't know the full details of the existing couple's relationship. Secondly, it's almost all on the person that decides to go with them.
Girl wants to get with boy; boy already has gf. It's almost all on him. I'd say 99%.
Disagree with that. If you know somebody is in a relationship they are off limits.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Future African game vet
its not likely that it was ALL due to the other person getting involved.... there must have been underlying issues and the partner just decided for some reason they were better off with the new person. If everything was great, no matter who got "involved" it wouldnt result in a break up.
I'm not talking from experience here, it was just a general thought/topic that was on my mind and I agree if relationships were strong in the first place then no-one would be successful in interfering. However, the point my initial post is trying to get at, is at the principle itself. Forget what happens, how happens, whether the interference actually resulted in a break up or not; just take at face value one person trying to get with another when they are already taken. Simply that. It's just not nice. There are a lot of people that do it and I just don't see why. Most people would walk away, but some don't. This thread is aimed at the latter.
Original post by lee1985
I'm not talking from experience here, it was just a general thought/topic that was on my mind and I agree if relationships were strong in the first place then no-one would be successful in interfering. However, the point my initial post is trying to get at, is at the principle itself. Forget what happens, how happens, whether the interference actually resulted in a break up or not; just take at face value one person trying to get with another when they are already taken. Simply that. It's just not nice. There are a lot of people that do it and I just don't see why. Most people would walk away, but some don't. This thread is aimed at the latter.
oh no I wasn't aiming it directly at you
I didn't think it was from personal experience- sorry if it sounded like that!Yes, going after someone who is in a relationship is not morally correct - however you cannot help who you fall in love with. Sometimes there is just a connection there and its hard for people to ignore, im not saying that it justifies trying to get with someone who's taken, but you can't look at these things from a simple point of view really- there is too much emotion and circumstance involved- every case is different.
Original post by Future African game vet
oh no I wasn't aiming it directly at you I didn't think it was from personal experience- sorry if it sounded like that!
Yes, going after someone who is in a relationship is not morally correct - however you cannot help who you fall in love with. Sometimes there is just a connection there and its hard for people to ignore, im not saying that it justifies trying to get with someone who's taken, but you can't look at these things from a simple point of view really- there is too much emotion and circumstance involved- every case is different.
I didn't think it was from personal experience- sorry if it sounded like that!Yes, going after someone who is in a relationship is not morally correct - however you cannot help who you fall in love with. Sometimes there is just a connection there and its hard for people to ignore, im not saying that it justifies trying to get with someone who's taken, but you can't look at these things from a simple point of view really- there is too much emotion and circumstance involved- every case is different.
I do agree with all of this. Once you're in too deep it's difficult to get out, or want to get out, even if the person is taken!
However, and a big one at that. Isn't the relationship status of a person usually one of the first thing that gets discovered? Maybe it's not the case in the whole, but drawing on my experiences and those of friends, very soon after two people have met it's usually known whether they're single or not. That's the point at which one could draw a line before getting too deep.
(edited 9 years ago)
You're prooobably preaching to the converted, here.
Do you think a person on the outside of a relationship is unaware of what they're doing? Or is seeking anything serious? Also, why do you place more blame on them than on the committed person? The third person has no reason to care about their crush's significant other's feelings, whereas both halves of the couple have made an agreement to care for one another, and are defying that.
Last year, a guy I was interested in cheated on his girlfriend with me. He'd lied to me about being single, but when she caught wind of us sleeping together I became known as a homewrecker and had all sorts of gossip spread about me, whilst he was completely forgiven!
Do you think a person on the outside of a relationship is unaware of what they're doing? Or is seeking anything serious? Also, why do you place more blame on them than on the committed person? The third person has no reason to care about their crush's significant other's feelings, whereas both halves of the couple have made an agreement to care for one another, and are defying that.
Last year, a guy I was interested in cheated on his girlfriend with me. He'd lied to me about being single, but when she caught wind of us sleeping together I became known as a homewrecker and had all sorts of gossip spread about me, whilst he was completely forgiven!
(edited 9 years ago)
Unfortunately there are people out there who do specifically go for people in relationships. But I think they mostly end up alone. Karma.
Original post by Aivicore
You're prooobably preaching to the converted, here.
Do you think a person on the outside of a relationship is unaware of what they're doing? Or is seeking anything serious? Also, why do you place more blame on them than on the committed person? The third person has no reason to care about their crush's significant other's feelings, whereas both halves of the couple have made an agreement to care for one another, and are defying that.
Last year, a guy I was interested in cheated on his girlfriend with me. He'd lied to me about being single, but when she caught wind of us sleeping together I became known as a homewrecker and had all sorts of gossip spread about me, whilst he was completely forgiven!
Do you think a person on the outside of a relationship is unaware of what they're doing? Or is seeking anything serious? Also, why do you place more blame on them than on the committed person? The third person has no reason to care about their crush's significant other's feelings, whereas both halves of the couple have made an agreement to care for one another, and are defying that.
Last year, a guy I was interested in cheated on his girlfriend with me. He'd lied to me about being single, but when she caught wind of us sleeping together I became known as a homewrecker and had all sorts of gossip spread about me, whilst he was completely forgiven!
thats terrible..... I agree with your points too.
Im sorry you had that experience, if anything he was more at fault than you- if he didnt disclose he was in a relationship then you shouldn't be blamed at all - what a silly man. Hope you are treated with more respect by the idiots who named you a homewrecker now.
I agree with Clip.
It's on the person who's already in a relationship. The 'homewrecker' is the cheating partner.
I think it's perhaps, at worst, mildly bad manners (perhaps just below queue jumping in 'things you shouldn't do') to actively pursue someone who is in a relationship, but at the same time I don't see it as remotely 'rude' to accept the advances of someone who is in a relationship.
People aren't possessions. You can't 'steal' someone. If someone chooses to break up because they've met someone else, the relationship obviously wasn't great to begin with. It's unfair to blame the only blameless party.
It's on the person who's already in a relationship. The 'homewrecker' is the cheating partner.
I think it's perhaps, at worst, mildly bad manners (perhaps just below queue jumping in 'things you shouldn't do') to actively pursue someone who is in a relationship, but at the same time I don't see it as remotely 'rude' to accept the advances of someone who is in a relationship.
People aren't possessions. You can't 'steal' someone. If someone chooses to break up because they've met someone else, the relationship obviously wasn't great to begin with. It's unfair to blame the only blameless party.
Original post by Claudiatte
Unfortunately there are people out there who do specifically go for people in relationships. But I think they mostly end up alone. Karma.
amen to that sista
Just for avoidance of doubt, I probably titled this wrong.
It's not aimed simply at 'home-wreckers' as the person who is a home-wrecker can be up for debate and of course can be someone completely different than those I'm talking about, as in the case of Aivicore.
It's aimed at those I've clearly described.
It's not aimed simply at 'home-wreckers' as the person who is a home-wrecker can be up for debate and of course can be someone completely different than those I'm talking about, as in the case of Aivicore.
It's aimed at those I've clearly described.
There are people who intentionally seek out those are involved, and there are others who are inadvertently the "other." Then they catch emotions and now feel they have a right to defend their side gig. And in a sense they do. But the chick who wanted to wreck what someone had is just narsty.
I was never appointed Lord protector of other people's relationships. I'm not under any obligation unlike any hypothetical girl in a relationship. Girls get hit on all the time regardless of their status so if I don't have a go, someone else will.
If a guy bangs your girl then he's done you a favour. He's saved you the risk of spending your time with an unfaithful girl. Unless you think all girls are helpless saps who are completely vulnerable to someone's advances. In which case you might rustle a few feminist feathers on TSR.
"A man can't hold onto his wife. What business is it of mine?" - Achilles
Posted from TSR Mobile
If a guy bangs your girl then he's done you a favour. He's saved you the risk of spending your time with an unfaithful girl. Unless you think all girls are helpless saps who are completely vulnerable to someone's advances. In which case you might rustle a few feminist feathers on TSR.
"A man can't hold onto his wife. What business is it of mine?" - Achilles
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Aivicore
You're prooobably preaching to the converted, here.
Do you think a person on the outside of a relationship is unaware of what they're doing? Or is seeking anything serious? Also, why do you place more blame on them than on the committed person? The third person has no reason to care about their crush's significant other's feelings, whereas both halves of the couple have made an agreement to care for one another, and are defying that.
Last year, a guy I was interested in cheated on his girlfriend with me. He'd lied to me about being single, but when she caught wind of us sleeping together I became known as a homewrecker and had all sorts of gossip spread about me, whilst he was completely forgiven!
Do you think a person on the outside of a relationship is unaware of what they're doing? Or is seeking anything serious? Also, why do you place more blame on them than on the committed person? The third person has no reason to care about their crush's significant other's feelings, whereas both halves of the couple have made an agreement to care for one another, and are defying that.
Last year, a guy I was interested in cheated on his girlfriend with me. He'd lied to me about being single, but when she caught wind of us sleeping together I became known as a homewrecker and had all sorts of gossip spread about me, whilst he was completely forgiven!
The bold part of that is my biggest pet-hate (shall we call it).
Loathe people who give cheaters second chances as I think they should never be given second chances end of. Even though people can change, they just shouldn't be given a second chance for something that clearly hurts that much and has such an effect on people. Cheating is something that someone should know not to do from the beginning, it's not something that can be forgiven imo. It can have severe repercussions with some people even worse than bullying. People have killed themselves after being cheated on, it's just a no-no and everyone should know it really.
There will of course be a lot of people who disagree so shall not say much more about that but yes, I hate cheaters; talking from experience this time.
(edited 9 years ago)
You can't cheat with someone who doesn't want to. If they want to, or can be persuaded to, then in some sense the third party is doing you a favour by showing you that they're a pretty crappy partner anyway.
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