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LDR, newly wed wife said she wants a divorce - I want to hurt myself to get her atten

I met a beautiful wonderful woman whilst on holiday and after a year of relations we decided to wed then and there. So becuase of the british rules I could not bring over here until I have my own place and earn 18k etc etc.

We have always had a messaging relationship with a weekly phonecall or two. We've been together for two years and married for one. Everything seemed fine, in fact if were to say who was more into whom, I'd say my wife actually loves (loved) me more than I love her (and I love her to death). In fact after we fell in love and when it was time to return back to the UK, she cut her wrists because she couldn't bare life without me (before I asked for her hand). This was true love at its finest.

So now it's been nearly a year since I seen my wife and I recently told her Im coming to visit later than planned. Which is a month later approximately. So one day she messaged me saying shes gonna fix her phone and message me after it's fixed. Four days passed so I got worried and called her:

Out of the blue she suddenly told me she wants a divorce on the phone.

'Serene, how are you? I got worried so I called you to see how you are'

'Adam I want my divorce, I'm tired of this marriage. We got married in peace and now I want to divorce in peace'

So I got really worried and out breath and asked her why and she told me to stop asking her questions. She was being so ruthless and so out of character. This was not the woman I knew and love!! She also hung up on me, before she was always the one who refused to hang up and force me to hang up.

She blocked me on whatsapp and basically said she doesn't want to talk to anyone and is 'tired' (her favourite word)

I really love her and I know that she loves me deep down. But do you think I should divorce her? I cried out to her I gave her days of "peace" and yet she still doesn't want to answer any questions and still has me blocked. Should I give up? We always said we'd never give up. I guess one of the two always has to be the one who sells out...

It seems as if the only way I'd get her attention and her inner love for me back would be by me harming myself. I was pondering and truly hoping for me to be in an 'accident' so my family would call my wife and tell her I landed in hospital, making her regret cutting me off. This is all that plays in my mind. I hope to even die just for her to regret hurting me this way, cos at least she would love me again. I dont know what to do and im just up all night thinking of a way for her to talk to me ;(

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

joker12345

If something happened to you, she'd likely only come to you in guilt, is that really what you want?
This must be really hard for you, but it seems she isn't the person that you thought she was and you have to accept that. She's been awful about this - do you really want to be with someone who goes from crazy in love to asking for a divorce over the phone just like that?
I think you need to talk to her, she owes you at least an explanation, but if her mind is set you should try to accept it and move on.

Reply 2

tehFrance

She married you for a visa, you didn't fulfill the requirements in order to get her into the UK within a reasonable time frame and now she wants out as you're not going to get your arse into gear, earn the money required and bring her here. Also I wouldn't be surprised if she was bonking someone on the side.

I would say that you're immature in wanting to hurt yourself just so she'll come back, hell you want to die just to hurt her, doesn't sound like you love her to me.