Girl said that I am "too nice". What to do?

OP

Nice is good. She just wasn't prepared to tell you her real reasons for not fancying you.

Read this:

http://nosleeptilbrooklands.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/yes-another-blog-about-nice-guys-and.html?spref=tw&m=1

Hmm ok. I'll check this article out.. thanks.

Reply 21

spanker

19

Punch her in the ovaries and say:
"Am I doing it right?"

EDIT: Just realised that this isn't in Chat, sooo... some "helpful" advice, just practice saying no to things. Nothing is going to happen when you say no.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 22

believeteam22

OP

8

Original post by Mr_ZoomZoom

Stop being her lap dog, stop being a little whinny bitch, stop doing her favours, stop putting her in front of you ... you'll soon see girls will be more attracted to you.

She will never be attracted to you though ... you're in the deepest chasms of the Friendzone with her.

Yh I know I am. I didn't really know all this before tbh. Anyway this won't happen with another girl. How can I do the above without making myself look like I am doing it deliberately?

Reply 23

believeteam22

OP

8

Original post by ane66

Noooooooo dont change keep being nice, this girl is just a di*k, you will find a better girl. Most girls like me want nice guys who havent slept with every butt in the country. As cheesy as it sounds, but if she doesn't accept you for who you are, then she isnt worth your time

Maybe. I still really like her though :/

Reply 24

Yeah dude

16

Enter butt hurt nice guys who say all girls like bad boys

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Reply 25

fujier

Original post by believeteam22

Well, I was thinking to myself the same thing. She said to me that I never say "no". And I am always available to help her with everything, whatever she needs, etc. And she also said that her bf is the opposite of me. haha!

Maybe I have been too much of a pushover, and her "lapdog" as some people put it...

realy a nice guy!

Reply 26

believeteam22

OP

8

Original post by Viceroy

Since when is being nice a problem? If she doesn't like you, another girl will who will appreciate your manners and kind disposition.

The jerks on this thread telling you to start being mean are just compensating for the fact that they don't know any better than you do how to attract attention from women.

Maybe. But maybe I have been a bit of a pushover in doing everything she asks? Do you think that could be the problem? I just don't like to say "no" to her.. I don't know why, I just sort of enjoy the closeness I have with her and if I start to say no, etc, she might start to see me differently..

Reply 27

believeteam22

OP

8

Original post by feenicks89

damage is already done im afraid man, no worries just continue as you are, if you change then she'll just released you wanted to bone her all along, which i know man no worries friend zoning is a natural process.

just stick with it bro, and if she ever has a horrible break up with some guy ive heard of some pretty wild tales of friend zoned guys being used for 'compfort' so its not all bad, you get a gf too she'll be kinda jelous probs haha

I know :/
I can't do this again. So do you have any advice to not let this happen in the future (with another girl) again?

Reply 28

believeteam22

OP

8

I think all the posters that are saying to not change and be nice etc are girls. Because guys would not be saying this, unless they enjoy the friend zone. Just my two cents.

Reply 29

Tom_Ford

2

It's all about the aesthetics man.

Reply 30

President Putin

Don't ever change who you are because of one irrelevant female.

You will inevitably find someone who respects you for who you are.

Reply 31

ilem

17

Original post by believeteam22

She has a bf. And I don't think so. When I asked her how she meant when she said "too nice", she said that I never say "no". Which I guess I have been guilty of..

For the umpteenth time, stop wasting your time on her man. You know fully well nothing will ever come out of it, bar emotional damage to you.

Reply 32

RHyoudon'kno

15

Nothing at all. Her loss. :s-smilie:

Reply 33

bella_shadow

Original post by believeteam22

My female friend said to me that I am "too nice".
I guess she is right. I have a tendency to be nice to girls I like. I guess this is a weakness, but it just happens. I really dislike not being nice to people I like.

And I realise that being "too nice" is not really a good thing and that I need to change.

But how do I do that? I never say "no" to her for anything.

I really need to change but I don't know how to go about it and without looking like an ***

I feel really close to said girl and I am afraid if I start acting differently, start saying "no" etc, she might start to treat me differently and I might not be as important to her anymore. That's how I feel inside :/

I know I sound beta as **** and I only recently really thought about it like that.

How can I change? Any advice please?

You need to start saying no. How do you expect girls you like to like you back if they see you as their puppy who does whatever they want? I'm not telling you to start being an arse, it's great that you're a nice guy, but you need to put yourself first sometimes or you won't be respected by these girls. If this particular girl questions you on suddenly saying no to her then buy her a stuffed toy or something because you're a person and if she really cares about you she won't treat you differently; if she treats you differently she's not worth it and you will find someone who is. The last time I checked there are over 7 billion people in the world

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Reply 34

517340

16

Oohohoho I remember that feeling.

Girl back in 6th form, I ended up head over heels with her but unfortunately she already had someone right through it. We'd talk about anything and I'd happily help with whatever I could, then again I'd help any of my friends if they needed it. It got to the point where we both admitted our feelings for eachother but we knew it could go no further. As much as I was infatuated by her on every level, I was ok with just being a close friend, because I could still spend time with her, be invited to birthday parties, I even got along well with her parents! Some may call this being in the Marinas Trench of the friendzone but I didn't care, at least I got to be comfortably close to someone whose company I enjoyed. I respectfully made my exit when she was with her boyfriend though.

So as you mentioned, she's taken, so there's no way of barging your way into a relationship with her. There's nothing wrong with being 'too nice', it's just your nature and it's most likely quite endearing to a lot of girls. Just make sure you don't act like she's the source of all light in the world, because you'll just be setting yourself up for a hard time.

But by all means feel free to continue spending time with her if you're comfortable how it is right now, don't feel bad about being too nice.

Reply 35

Wattsy

19

Never seek relationship advice on the internet, particularly on the Student Room. It's full of PUA wannabe idiots who believe in evolution based theory while discounting individual difference and the nuance of the human when compared to the rest of the worlds animals, you have to utilise your own niceness and find a girl that finds that endearing. I can assure you that they exist.

Reply 36

WeedCanKill

13

Tell her she's so ugly even the paper bag is scared of her. See how "nice" she thinks you are then.

Reply 37

Viceroy

15

Original post by believeteam22

Maybe. But maybe I have been a bit of a pushover in doing everything she asks? Do you think that could be the problem? I just don't like to say "no" to her.. I don't know why, I just sort of enjoy the closeness I have with her and if I start to say no, etc, she might start to see me differently..

Being a pushover is never good. It's important to stand up for what you want and who you are. That said, it sounds like you enjoy being nice to her, and there's nothing wrong with that! If she isn't into you for whatever reason, someone else will be. Being a nice guy is a great thing. :smile:

Reply 38

Emily.97

21

Original post by believeteam22

Well, I was thinking to myself the same thing. She said to me that I never say "no". And I am always available to help her with everything, whatever she needs, etc. And she also said that her bf is the opposite of me. haha!

Maybe I have been too much of a pushover, and her "lapdog" as some people put it...

That's a good thing! There's no need to question whether thats a weakness :smile:

What is she trying to say by saying that her bf is the opposite of you..? She wants you to be like him/her :s-smilie:

? I don't quite get her thought processes behind these comments, and I'd advise you to ignore them and don't even consider changing the way you behave.

I don't agree that it makes you a push over. She'd probably have something to say if you ended up saying no to everything too! You can't really win.. can you?

Reply 39

Andy98

20

Original post by believeteam22

My female friend said to me that I am "too nice".
I guess she is right. I have a tendency to be nice to girls I like. I guess this is a weakness, but it just happens. I really dislike not being nice to people I like.

And I realise that being "too nice" is not really a good thing and that I need to change.

But how do I do that? I never say "no" to her for anything.

I really need to change but I don't know how to go about it and without looking like an ***

I feel really close to said girl and I am afraid if I start acting differently, start saying "no" etc, she might start to treat me differently and I might not be as important to her anymore. That's how I feel inside :/

I know I sound beta as **** and I only recently really thought about it like that.

How can I change? Any advice please?

Nice is good. She just didn't have the balls to give you the real reason

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Girl said that I am "too nice". What to do?

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