Serious issues with my brother
My brother is 26 and I am 21, having moved back home from uni (in London). He is frankly abusive. We all have to be careful of how we eat and drink because the littlest thing aggregates him. He swears and is rude. Everything revolves around him, he gets priority for everything. He blocks us in the drive so we can't get in/out and he leaves his keys in the door so we can't go out. My parents frequently complain about this to me and yet they say nothing to me. He also lost the dog and we only found her by chance; my parents said little about it and certainly nothing to his face and put in this way, our dog is treated like a God. Memory foam mattress, all the toys in the world everything.
We used to get on so well but now he is frankly vile and deliberately picks fights. One time he threatened to hit me several in front of his girlfriend and hit the sofa I was sat on. I was so scared I barricaded my bedroom door. My parents know about this and apparently spoke to him but I never had an apology. I have blocked him and his girlfriend on Facebook. Another time he shouted at me constantly swearing etc. as I was going to order a family takeaway. This was last night and he left with his girlfriend. I still have not had an apology and he is coming home with his girlfriend so my parents will definitely not speak to him. My sister-in-law said two months ago before the dog and threatening incident that my parents were thinking of kicking him out. He lives at home rent-free. I have barely lived at home since I was 18. I would move out if I could but I am on £8p/h and my the time I have paid all my bills I would be broke. I only moved home to save up for a deposit before going to London for a 'career' job. My brother does nothing for my parents. I do all my Dad's business emails, his invoices etc. and I list all his stuff on eBay for him. I text for both my parents because they can't be bothered and make them drinks every hour. My dad just came in as I was typing this asking me to get a splinter out of his finger. If I ever complain or say how my brother gets away with murder he always tries to sweet talk me "do it for me" "oh please" It's at the stage were I am loosing respect for my Dad as I see him as nothing more than a coward.
I seriously hate my life right now, I want to cry. I hate my job and I hate my family. All I have to look forward to is horse riding once a week and that is it.
We used to get on so well but now he is frankly vile and deliberately picks fights. One time he threatened to hit me several in front of his girlfriend and hit the sofa I was sat on. I was so scared I barricaded my bedroom door. My parents know about this and apparently spoke to him but I never had an apology. I have blocked him and his girlfriend on Facebook. Another time he shouted at me constantly swearing etc. as I was going to order a family takeaway. This was last night and he left with his girlfriend. I still have not had an apology and he is coming home with his girlfriend so my parents will definitely not speak to him. My sister-in-law said two months ago before the dog and threatening incident that my parents were thinking of kicking him out. He lives at home rent-free. I have barely lived at home since I was 18. I would move out if I could but I am on £8p/h and my the time I have paid all my bills I would be broke. I only moved home to save up for a deposit before going to London for a 'career' job. My brother does nothing for my parents. I do all my Dad's business emails, his invoices etc. and I list all his stuff on eBay for him. I text for both my parents because they can't be bothered and make them drinks every hour. My dad just came in as I was typing this asking me to get a splinter out of his finger. If I ever complain or say how my brother gets away with murder he always tries to sweet talk me "do it for me" "oh please" It's at the stage were I am loosing respect for my Dad as I see him as nothing more than a coward.
I seriously hate my life right now, I want to cry. I hate my job and I hate my family. All I have to look forward to is horse riding once a week and that is it.
Original post by jacksd
Have you expressed your feelings to your parents?
I think they know that I am very unhappy but they think it will blow over. My parents aren't ones for rocking the boat. If it me they are more than happy to criticise or say no to.
Original post by Georg Hegel
I think they know that I am very unhappy but they think it will blow over. My parents aren't ones for rocking the boat. If it me they are more than happy to criticise or say no to.
Refuse to pansy to your parents whims until they do something about it. Making them drinks every hour? texting and emailing for them? And what do you get in return? You don't feel safe in your own home and they refuse to acknowledge it.
I at this point would just literally being paying my share of rent and bill costs and not engaging acts to help them out when they can't even take the responsibility to help themselves.
Yes it is an incredibly difficult thing for any parent to do to kick out or very seriously reprimand a child, but your brother sounds dangerous and they are putting you and themselves in harms way.
Oh right I see. I got the impression at first that they were getting just as pissed off with him as you were, and I was going to say, why haven't they just kicked him out?
I'd say the best thing is probably would probably be to explain your thoughts to them. Be calm, don't get angry about it and shout. Just say what you are experiencing.. You work hard in the house for your dad and I'm sure he appreciates that. Explain how your brother is being an ******* and treating everyone badly.
That's all I can suggest, it's not going to get any better if you don't do anything about it.
I'd say the best thing is probably would probably be to explain your thoughts to them. Be calm, don't get angry about it and shout. Just say what you are experiencing.. You work hard in the house for your dad and I'm sure he appreciates that. Explain how your brother is being an ******* and treating everyone badly.
That's all I can suggest, it's not going to get any better if you don't do anything about it.
Any more advice? I was thinking of getting a gym membership so I don't have to come home for an hour. Idk if my brother &/or co are coming back tonight.
:-(
:-(
Original post by Georg Hegel
Any more advice? I was thinking of getting a gym membership so I don't have to come home for an hour. Idk if my brother &/or co are coming back tonight.
:-(
:-(
Unless you really want a gym membership it'll probably be wasted money and it won't solve the issue. Solving the issue and avoiding the issue are very different things.
Original post by SophieSmall
Unless you really want a gym membership it'll probably be wasted money and it won't solve the issue. Solving the issue and avoiding the issue are very different things.
Exactly, avoiding the issue will not solve the problem and if anything could make it worse. Tell your parents you have had enough, they are taking you for granted and letting your brother treat you, and them like ****, and they aren't doing anything about it.
Original post by jacksd
Exactly, avoiding the issue will not solve the problem and if anything could make it worse. Tell your parents you have had enough, they are taking you for granted and letting your brother treat you, and them like ****, and they aren't doing anything about it.
I'd also then move out if the parents refuse to change anything.
OP I understand you're saving up to move to london but even still if your brother is as bad as you are describing then he sounds dangerous.
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