getting in touch with an old 'friend'
Hi, I guess I will start with the backstory.
About five years ago, I moved to the US to attend school there due to my parents moving jobs. That's where I met my 'friend'. We were in different year groups, but I was introduced to him via a mutual friend and we immediately got along.
About a week after being introduced (which was literally just to say 'hello'), my family were invited to his house for dinner. I didn't realise it was his family so when I arrived, we both laughed and joked around saying how it was 'destiny'. It is pretty stupid thinking about it now but it felt so nice then. lol.
Anyway so this meant we were able to spend an entire evening together and we really bonded. After the dinner party came to an end he gave me his msn (yep that's how long ago it was) and asked me to chat with him there tomorrow night, which I did. And then we chatted quite a bit for about another week, but couldn't do any deep-convos as we were both having school exams.
about a week after this dinner party , he messaged me saying that he was moving to the UK a couple of days later. This kind of stunned me, and I still don't know why but I made no effort to see him for the last time or anything, and just waited till he left. and then I realised I really liked him and tried to get in touch again, but he never appeared on msn.
I didn't have facebook at the time and nor did he. social media wasn't really a big thing back then and I didn't want to ask about him through my parents so I just left it. until now.
I have moved back to the UK and it was a total coincidence that I saw his name on an article online. obviously it could've been anyone as the name is quite common, but I looked through facebook searching his name and his university together and found him. but whilst i was definitely sure it was his account, he was clearly not very active on facebook as the last activity was sometime in 2012 and he didn't even have a profile picture.
I have sent him a friend request but I now have a few concerns. First of all what if he doesn't ever come on facebook again? or even if he does, what if it's in several years time or something? I am returning to the US in about 4 months so I don't know if it will be worth just waiting.
but that leads me to my next concern. what if he doesn't remember me? how should i approach him? what should i message him ?
and based on my story, is it worth going an extra mile (by trying to reconnect with his old friends / his uni friends to find him? would that appear really stalkerish?
I have liked him for quite a while after he left so it would mean so much to meet him again.
Sorry for the really long post and thank you to all of you who've read down to here.
About five years ago, I moved to the US to attend school there due to my parents moving jobs. That's where I met my 'friend'. We were in different year groups, but I was introduced to him via a mutual friend and we immediately got along.
About a week after being introduced (which was literally just to say 'hello'), my family were invited to his house for dinner. I didn't realise it was his family so when I arrived, we both laughed and joked around saying how it was 'destiny'. It is pretty stupid thinking about it now but it felt so nice then. lol.
Anyway so this meant we were able to spend an entire evening together and we really bonded. After the dinner party came to an end he gave me his msn (yep that's how long ago it was) and asked me to chat with him there tomorrow night, which I did. And then we chatted quite a bit for about another week, but couldn't do any deep-convos as we were both having school exams.
about a week after this dinner party , he messaged me saying that he was moving to the UK a couple of days later. This kind of stunned me, and I still don't know why but I made no effort to see him for the last time or anything, and just waited till he left. and then I realised I really liked him and tried to get in touch again, but he never appeared on msn.
I didn't have facebook at the time and nor did he. social media wasn't really a big thing back then and I didn't want to ask about him through my parents so I just left it. until now.
I have moved back to the UK and it was a total coincidence that I saw his name on an article online. obviously it could've been anyone as the name is quite common, but I looked through facebook searching his name and his university together and found him. but whilst i was definitely sure it was his account, he was clearly not very active on facebook as the last activity was sometime in 2012 and he didn't even have a profile picture.
I have sent him a friend request but I now have a few concerns. First of all what if he doesn't ever come on facebook again? or even if he does, what if it's in several years time or something? I am returning to the US in about 4 months so I don't know if it will be worth just waiting.
but that leads me to my next concern. what if he doesn't remember me? how should i approach him? what should i message him ?
and based on my story, is it worth going an extra mile (by trying to reconnect with his old friends / his uni friends to find him? would that appear really stalkerish?
I have liked him for quite a while after he left so it would mean so much to meet him again.
Sorry for the really long post and thank you to all of you who've read down to here.
Approach him like Magneto. Stand outside his University, wait for him to walk past and say "Hello..old friend". It's a sure thing!
Nah in all seriousness, people don't just forget other people like that and he's bound to remember you. If he hasn't been active on Facebook in 2 years then don't bank on him accepting you. I don't think it'd seem stalkerish to try and reconnect but doing the Magneto thing and turning up might be a bit offputting
Nah in all seriousness, people don't just forget other people like that and he's bound to remember you. If he hasn't been active on Facebook in 2 years then don't bank on him accepting you. I don't think it'd seem stalkerish to try and reconnect but doing the Magneto thing and turning up might be a bit offputting
Original post by somemightsay888
Approach him like Magneto. Stand outside his University, wait for him to walk past and say "Hello..old friend". It's a sure thing!
Nah in all seriousness, people don't just forget other people like that and he's bound to remember you. If he hasn't been active on Facebook in 2 years then don't bank on him accepting you. I don't think it'd seem stalkerish to try and reconnect but doing the Magneto thing and turning up might be a bit offputting
Nah in all seriousness, people don't just forget other people like that and he's bound to remember you. If he hasn't been active on Facebook in 2 years then don't bank on him accepting you. I don't think it'd seem stalkerish to try and reconnect but doing the Magneto thing and turning up might be a bit offputting
thanks, I hope he does! I don't think he knew I liked him in that way though and he probably never liked me in that way either so he may have forgotten me
Original post by Anonymous
thanks, I hope he does! I don't think he knew I liked him in that way though and he probably never liked me in that way either so he may have forgotten me
I wouldn't jump straight into the whole "I liked you thing" but I can't imagine he'd forgotten you. You went to eachothers house for that party like you said, sounds like a memorable event. Best of luck!
To be honest, I think you did some damage when you didn't make an effort to see him before he moved to the U.K. How do you think he'd have perceived that? It probably gave him the impression that meeting him didn't mean much to you in the first place.
Correct me if I am wrong (it is 3 am in the morning lol) but reading your post, I ascertain that you only knew him for two weeks? It's not a long time at all- even if you do feel you had a connection, there wasn't enough time to build on that thus developing something deeper and more meaningful.
In terms of contact, you have requested a friendship via FB- but if I were you i'd back that up with a message of 1. who you are, 2. what made you think of him, 3. how nice he was when you moved to the U.S all those years ago, and 4. how you would like to reconnect. I'm afraid that's all you can do at this point. Perhaps you could ask your parents about him, see if they know anything?
It's been five years since this, and that's a long time- he may have changed, he may have a girlfriend, a wife, kids etc. So I think you need to be ready for such circumstances, and not really have any expectations.Unfortunately, the worst case scenario is that he doesn't get back to you, and that's something else you need to be ready for.
Correct me if I am wrong (it is 3 am in the morning lol) but reading your post, I ascertain that you only knew him for two weeks? It's not a long time at all- even if you do feel you had a connection, there wasn't enough time to build on that thus developing something deeper and more meaningful.
In terms of contact, you have requested a friendship via FB- but if I were you i'd back that up with a message of 1. who you are, 2. what made you think of him, 3. how nice he was when you moved to the U.S all those years ago, and 4. how you would like to reconnect. I'm afraid that's all you can do at this point. Perhaps you could ask your parents about him, see if they know anything?
It's been five years since this, and that's a long time- he may have changed, he may have a girlfriend, a wife, kids etc. So I think you need to be ready for such circumstances, and not really have any expectations.Unfortunately, the worst case scenario is that he doesn't get back to you, and that's something else you need to be ready for.
Original post by KadeK
To be honest, I think you did some damage when you didn't make an effort to see him before he moved to the U.K. How do you think he'd have perceived that? It probably gave him the impression that meeting him didn't mean much to you in the first place.
Correct me if I am wrong (it is 3 am in the morning lol) but reading your post, I ascertain that you only knew him for two weeks? It's not a long time at all- even if you do feel you had a connection, there wasn't enough time to build on that thus developing something deeper and more meaningful.
In terms of contact, you have requested a friendship via FB- but if I were you i'd back that up with a message of 1. who you are, 2. what made you think of him, 3. how nice he was when you moved to the U.S all those years ago, and 4. how you would like to reconnect. I'm afraid that's all you can do at this point. Perhaps you could ask your parents about him, see if they know anything?
It's been five years since this, and that's a long time- he may have changed, he may have a girlfriend, a wife, kids etc. So I think you need to be ready for such circumstances, and not really have any expectations.Unfortunately, the worst case scenario is that he doesn't get back to you, and that's something else you need to be ready for.
Correct me if I am wrong (it is 3 am in the morning lol) but reading your post, I ascertain that you only knew him for two weeks? It's not a long time at all- even if you do feel you had a connection, there wasn't enough time to build on that thus developing something deeper and more meaningful.
In terms of contact, you have requested a friendship via FB- but if I were you i'd back that up with a message of 1. who you are, 2. what made you think of him, 3. how nice he was when you moved to the U.S all those years ago, and 4. how you would like to reconnect. I'm afraid that's all you can do at this point. Perhaps you could ask your parents about him, see if they know anything?
It's been five years since this, and that's a long time- he may have changed, he may have a girlfriend, a wife, kids etc. So I think you need to be ready for such circumstances, and not really have any expectations.Unfortunately, the worst case scenario is that he doesn't get back to you, and that's something else you need to be ready for.
Original post by KadeK
To be honest, I think you did some damage when you didn't make an effort to see him before he moved to the U.K. How do you think he'd have perceived that? It probably gave him the impression that meeting him didn't mean much to you in the first place.
Correct me if I am wrong (it is 3 am in the morning lol) but reading your post, I ascertain that you only knew him for two weeks? It's not a long time at all- even if you do feel you had a connection, there wasn't enough time to build on that thus developing something deeper and more meaningful.
In terms of contact, you have requested a friendship via FB- but if I were you i'd back that up with a message of 1. who you are, 2. what made you think of him, 3. how nice he was when you moved to the U.S all those years ago, and 4. how you would like to reconnect. I'm afraid that's all you can do at this point. Perhaps you could ask your parents about him, see if they know anything?
It's been five years since this, and that's a long time- he may have changed, he may have a girlfriend, a wife, kids etc. So I think you need to be ready for such circumstances, and not really have any expectations.Unfortunately, the worst case scenario is that he doesn't get back to you, and that's something else you need to be ready for.
Correct me if I am wrong (it is 3 am in the morning lol) but reading your post, I ascertain that you only knew him for two weeks? It's not a long time at all- even if you do feel you had a connection, there wasn't enough time to build on that thus developing something deeper and more meaningful.
In terms of contact, you have requested a friendship via FB- but if I were you i'd back that up with a message of 1. who you are, 2. what made you think of him, 3. how nice he was when you moved to the U.S all those years ago, and 4. how you would like to reconnect. I'm afraid that's all you can do at this point. Perhaps you could ask your parents about him, see if they know anything?
It's been five years since this, and that's a long time- he may have changed, he may have a girlfriend, a wife, kids etc. So I think you need to be ready for such circumstances, and not really have any expectations.Unfortunately, the worst case scenario is that he doesn't get back to you, and that's something else you need to be ready for.
Original post by KadeK
To be honest, I think you did some damage when you didn't make an effort to see him before he moved to the U.K. How do you think he'd have perceived that? It probably gave him the impression that meeting him didn't mean much to you in the first place.
Correct me if I am wrong (it is 3 am in the morning lol) but reading your post, I ascertain that you only knew him for two weeks? It's not a long time at all- even if you do feel you had a connection, there wasn't enough time to build on that thus developing something deeper and more meaningful.
In terms of contact, you have requested a friendship via FB- but if I were you i'd back that up with a message of 1. who you are, 2. what made you think of him, 3. how nice he was when you moved to the U.S all those years ago, and 4. how you would like to reconnect. I'm afraid that's all you can do at this point. Perhaps you could ask your parents about him, see if they know anything?
It's been five years since this, and that's a long time- he may have changed, he may have a girlfriend, a wife, kids etc. So I think you need to be ready for such circumstances, and not really have any expectations.Unfortunately, the worst case scenario is that he doesn't get back to you, and that's something else you need to be ready for.
Correct me if I am wrong (it is 3 am in the morning lol) but reading your post, I ascertain that you only knew him for two weeks? It's not a long time at all- even if you do feel you had a connection, there wasn't enough time to build on that thus developing something deeper and more meaningful.
In terms of contact, you have requested a friendship via FB- but if I were you i'd back that up with a message of 1. who you are, 2. what made you think of him, 3. how nice he was when you moved to the U.S all those years ago, and 4. how you would like to reconnect. I'm afraid that's all you can do at this point. Perhaps you could ask your parents about him, see if they know anything?
It's been five years since this, and that's a long time- he may have changed, he may have a girlfriend, a wife, kids etc. So I think you need to be ready for such circumstances, and not really have any expectations.Unfortunately, the worst case scenario is that he doesn't get back to you, and that's something else you need to be ready for.
Thanks for your reply. The only thing I am concerned about is , the new messaging system on Facebook would mean that my message would get sent to the "others" folder, which doesn't send the user a notification or anything so it is highly unlikely he will ever read it
Original post by Simply93
Can't you just talk to your parents and see if they are still in touch with his parents, if so you can get in touch with him via his parents. best of luck in finding him
I have asked them very subtly if they knew anything but no luck
thank youOriginal post by somemightsay888
I wouldn't jump straight into the whole "I liked you thing" but I can't imagine he'd forgotten you. You went to eachothers house for that party like you said, sounds like a memorable event. Best of luck!
Thank you, I really do hope so!
I see. Have you tried contacting your mutual friend (the one that introduced you to the guy in the first place)?
I know it's corny, but I think you've done all you can, and if it's meant to be it will be. I'd find some comfort in the fact that I tried my best- and I hope you can too. But of course people are different.
All the best. I sincerely hope he accepts your friend request and you can re-assert a connection.
I know it's corny, but I think you've done all you can, and if it's meant to be it will be. I'd find some comfort in the fact that I tried my best- and I hope you can too. But of course people are different.
All the best. I sincerely hope he accepts your friend request and you can re-assert a connection.
Original post by KadeK
I see. Have you tried contacting your mutual friend (the one that introduced you to the guy in the first place)?
I know it's corny, but I think you've done all you can, and if it's meant to be it will be. I'd find some comfort in the fact that I tried my best- and I hope you can too. But of course people are different.
All the best. I sincerely hope he accepts your friend request and you can re-assert a connection.
I know it's corny, but I think you've done all you can, and if it's meant to be it will be. I'd find some comfort in the fact that I tried my best- and I hope you can too. But of course people are different.
All the best. I sincerely hope he accepts your friend request and you can re-assert a connection.
Hello, yes I have tried but it seems she is inactive in any form of social networking
thank you, I guess that is for the best for now. I just wish silly facebook would stop sending messages from strangers to the 'other' foldeer!! that alone would solve so many problems!
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