What to do?? Need help with girl

Right, hey all first post here... hope all are well :smile:

And if you want the shortened version, the next few paragraphs are the main bits, although its still a long post. Sorry about that...

SO to avoid TL;DR, I'll give a summary of my (standard, but nonetheless confusing) situation now...there's excess of detail later but below is the rough summary of things... thanks for reading:

Right, so there's this girl (of course) who I met a few months back and have hung out with twice- with a couple of friends. I like her, and I'm fairly sure she knows this and I have a strong hunch (80%) sure that she likes me. I have her on facebook and have talked for a while and also a little on snapchat, but less so. I don't have her phone number yet...

Right so the issue I'm facing iss..... how do I tell her I like her, without sounding needy? Because I can't met her in person (We're both doing GCSE's this year and I'm not really allowed out much until after), and I don't really want to do it by facebook- sorta wussy imo. So i was thinking of asking for her number by facebook (also; how to do go about this?) and leave her a message asking her if she wants to hang out with me after exams... also if I did this, should I say 'I like you' or just ask her out?

Reply 1

JamieC1234

OP

Original post by JamieC1234

Right, hey all first post here... hope all are well :smile:

And if you want the shortened version, the next few paragraphs are the main bits, although its still a long post. Sorry about that...

SO to avoid TL;DR, I'll give a summary of my (standard, but nonetheless confusing) situation now...there's excess of detail later but below is the rough summary of things... thanks for reading:

Right, so there's this girl (of course) who I met a few months back and have hung out with twice- with a couple of friends. I like her, and I'm fairly sure she knows this and I have a strong hunch (80%) sure that she likes me. I have her on facebook and have talked for a while and also a little on snapchat, but less so. I don't have her phone number yet...

Right so the issue I'm facing iss..... how do I tell her I like her, without sounding needy? Because I can't met her in person (We're both doing GCSE's this year and I'm not really allowed out much until after), and I don't really want to do it by facebook- sorta wussy imo. So i was thinking of asking for her number by facebook (also; how to do go about this?) and leave her a message asking her if she wants to hang out with me after exams... also if I did this, should I say 'I like you' or just ask her out?

EXTRA DETAIL BELOW:
Also, regarding response time... she generally takes a few hours to respond during the day -I assume, and hope,that this is because she has a life outside FB and is not avoiding me, paranoia ikr- and generally 20 or 30 mins in the evenings... I last spoke to her on sunday and don't want to come across as desperate, so am holding off anymore messages until this weekend BECAUSE i have started every convo with her on FB ( is this normal?) do girls expect guys to always initiate? Although sometimes, but not recently, she sends me random snaps on SC, which I sometimes reply to. Finally, if she takes a long time to respond on FB ( longest has been 1 day) she always apologises, this a good thing right? or no?

She does ask me questions in messages, capitilizes certain letters and phrases and generally sounds happy/interested in talking to me :biggrin:

Right more detail (although that was pretty long anyways)

So I have talked to her a little on facebook (started a few weeks ago) and the message we send are far apart - in time; usually a few hours to at least 20 mins- but are abnormally long for me ... For instance, I ask her a question which leads to a short-ish convo where a standard message from either of us is around 6 to 10 lines long ( I rarely go above 2).

Also, when I last talked to her, she increased the number of x's she sends in FB messages from 1 to 2, dunno how significant this is? And also often uses the winkey face and smiley face emojis with me (I do to, in return)... so do these sound like she could like me?

Sooo in essence, what i'm asking iss

1) D'you think she likes me?
2) How should I go about geting her number on facebook?
3) Should I tell her I like her and ask her out now, but for after exams?

PS: in the last few messages she sent, she stopped using the winkey face a little bit (from 2 to 3 a message to 1 or 0) but still uses the smiley emoji... also the number of x's went down to 1 again - still don't know is this is significant? I know she's smart , goes to a good school and well spoken. Also, I heard that she rejected a kiss from a guy sometime last year, if that helps give light on her character any....

Sorry for the dramatic monologue, but any help would be greatly appreciated!! Especially from you girls :wink:

This is my first potential relationship/date so I don't wanna mess up.... :/

I think that in my messages I may have come across too nice, and not playful enough but app she doesn't like overly funny types...

Bye and thanks for any responses

James

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 2

shawn_o1

21

Ask her out. Ask her out.

Reply 3

JamieC1234

OP

I know, and really want to.. but should I ask her via facebook or by text (need her number)? And my parents are reluctant to let me got out much until after exams (maybe in easter holidays)....

Reply 4

shawn_o1

21

Original post by JamieC1234

I know, and really want to.. but should I ask her via facebook or by text (need her number)? And my parents are reluctant to let me got out much until after exams (maybe in easter holidays)....

Do it on Facebook, I think you should offer to help her with her exam preparations, that way you can meet her and get her number so that she can call you if she's still stuck on certain things. But make sure that you're not distracted from your own studies too

Reply 5

Alexalex1503

2

Don't ask her out through text. Organise to meet up. Maybe offer to go out for a drink. Doing GCSEs i assume your underage haha so maybe offer to meet up after school one day for a coffee and offer to pay for her when it comes to it on the day. If she says yes then I'm pretty sure she wants you. If she says yes then maybe ask for her number so you can text her on the day (good excuse to get her number). And if she says no then at least you know and won't have that "what if" thought if you don't ask her and your trying to revise thinking about "what if". Go for it now and Good luck :smile:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 6

JamieC1234

OP

I think the exam preps is a good idea... didn't think of that one! Thanks shawn_01! :smile:

One problem is that mym um has my phone at the moment, because of distractions with revision and everything, although I have a second, crapper but still functioning phone :/

And for alexalex1503- should I just ask her on facebook if she wants to meet up after school/ or even weekend... and nope, not underage anymore haha although I don't plan on going down there just yet... :/ and for asking her number, should I offer mine up first or just ask/ suggest her to give me hers? thanks for the help

Reply 7

Nemo.1

2

You really are in a dilemma arent you! hahahaha
She seems really nice!
I would say, dont dive straight into the question of 'asking her out' or whatever, as first of all you have only been talking on and off via FB and second only hung out twice, so maybe not in full light of each others character yet? so it may seem a bit forward?
Also, take things slow; it better to be sure of something and make the decision rather than quickly jump into things - it can bite you back in the ass at times (to be blunt)
Maybe, start it by asking for her number?; did you say you go to the same school? ask when youre around her if you could get her number - nothing complicated. If not, just ask for it through FB? Then start talking there more?
About the quantity of her talking to you through FB varies; like you said she may have a life outside FB, or is actually busy, or (in all honesty, not putting you off as ive experienced it) she may not want to talk to you or at that moment in time? Regarding the 'x' and emojis, its hard to say, as many do it as a nice gesture of being polite and some misinterpret it, others actually do it to show how they feel?
Once you start talking to her, get to know her more and stuff then ask to hang out (regarding your parents, maybe ask them to hang out with friends/her to revise and you could actually revise with her too) like i said for revision, or then even to grab lunch or something.
Once in full light, and you are genuinely sure she really likes you - ask her. You wouldn't wanna chicken out, and be regretful that you didnt if it turns out she does like you? even if she does say no - well A) plenty more fish in the sea B) you are doing GCSE's so take it slow? Like plenty will come and go, be focused? C) You did say its your first potential relationship, so maybe you just need to take your time with things, and get it going?
However if you do really feel like she is the one you want to be in a relationship with and if she does say Yes - well get in :wink:

ahahahah

Sorry for it being such a long answer hahaha
Hope this helps x

Reply 8

mickel_w

9

First of all...

Please, dont overthink it so much!

It seems like she does like you, and from what I've read you seem like a really nice guy so I really don't see why she wouldn't. Just be yourself and relaxed about it, chances are she is just as nervous and asking herself all the same questions as you are.

You should ask her, preferably face to face, to meet up after exams or whenever you are free for lunch or coffee or something. Go out with her and just talk, enjoy yourself most importantly! If she sees you're having a good time with her you two will hit it off in no time and she will like you even more. You'll be able to tell when its going well :smile:

After meeting her, chances are she will want to hang out again, so as someone mentioned you should ask her to help her with studies or something along those lines. Don't be afraid to take the initiative, girls are usually shy when it comes to talking to guys they like, so just ask her :smile:

Reply 9

Alexalex1503

2

Original post by JamieC1234

I think the exam preps is a good idea... didn't think of that one! Thanks shawn_01! :smile:

One problem is that mym um has my phone at the moment, because of distractions with revision and everything, although I have a second, crapper but still functioning phone :/

And for alexalex1503- should I just ask her on facebook if she wants to meet up after school/ or even weekend... and nope, not underage anymore haha although I don't plan on going down there just yet... :/ and for asking her number, should I offer mine up first or just ask/ suggest her to give me hers? thanks for the help

I meant underage drinking haha But nice that your a decent guy and said your thinking about that yet! And i would ask for hers personally. And as others have said enjoy it and you'll know if its going well. I remember my first date and i could just tell it was going well!

Reply 10

JamieC1234

OP

Thanks for all the quick responses everyone!!

Unfortunately Nemo, we don't go to the same school, about 30 mins apart (although I go past hers sometimes due to school activities and stuff like that..) But I agree with the taking it slow, she also seems like the type to appreciate that sorta thing as well... and everyone seems to suggest offering to study together so that sounds like something quite likely to happen soon, which is good! And also a reason to get her number; I did ask her whether she uses FB or text more and she said FB... But thanks for all the help and your answer was very detailed, not too long

And for mikel_w; Yeah I do tend to really overthink things! ahaha, sometimes can't help it... so you're suggesting to ask her now to meet up after the exams, sorta like my parents suggested? It's hard to do it face to face though, as I don't see her unless a meeting is arranged, usually by facebook.... and one more quick questions (so many more than one haha); do girls tend not to text/facebook girls first when starting a convo? Do they sorta expect us guys to talk to them instead, don't they find it annoying if a guy starts all the conversations?

Thanks all :smile:

have been a great help!

Reply 11

JamieC1234

OP

@alexalex, oh I feel stupid ahaha... so basically, ask to meet up by facebook for lunch/coffee/revise time (as I can't meet up in person without facebook arrangement) while getting permission from troublesome parents :/ then ask for her number before so I have a reason to text her? sounds simple enough I guess :smile:

Reply 12

mickel_w

9

Original post by JamieC1234

And for mikel_w; Yeah I do tend to really overthink things! ahaha, sometimes can't help it... so you're suggesting to ask her now to meet up after the exams, sorta like my parents suggested? It's hard to do it face to face though, as I don't see her unless a meeting is arranged, usually by facebook.... and one more quick questions (so many more than one haha); do girls tend not to text/facebook girls first when starting a convo? Do they sorta expect us guys to talk to them instead, don't they find it annoying if a guy starts all the conversations?

Thanks all :smile:

have been a great help!

If you arrange your other meetings by Facebook as well then it will be fine, its no different. Its only preferable if you haven't really spoken to her face to face before, but if you have and this is how you arrange your other meetings then its fine.
Its different for every girl really, but usually those that are interested will show some level of interest either by texting first (sometimes) or putting kisses etc. Not all girls are like that, of course, some want the guy to really show a lot of interest in them by speaking to them first. As long as you don't nag her 24/7, starting the conversation is fine. Don't worry too much about the xs, look more at her replies (eg do you type a paragraph just to receive a one sentence answer?). As I said, don't over think it and just ask to meet up casually, from what I've read it seems like she really likes you :smile:

Edit: as for the parents thing, if they can see you're revising hard and take interest in your own learning they should be lenient enough to let you go out. Try and talk to them, if you open up to them a bit (I know how hard that is sometimes) and tell them there's this really cool girl who's smart etc and I'd like to hang out with her, they should let you (they will be happy you opened up to them, as teenagers usually don't tell their parents much). Also, if possible meet up before the exams, as they are a long time away yet.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 13

JamieC1234

OP

If you arrange your other meetings by Facebook as well then it will be fine, its no different. Its only preferable if you haven't really spoken to her face to face before, but if you have and this is how you arrange your other meetings then its fine.
Its different for every girl really, but usually those that are interested will show some level of interest either by texting first (sometimes) or putting kisses etc. Not all girls are like that, of course, some want the guy to really show a lot of interest in them by speaking to them first. As long as you don't nag her 24/7, starting the conversation is fine. Don't worry too much about the xs, look more at her replies (eg do you type a paragraph just to receive a one sentence answer?). As I said, don't over think it and just ask to meet up casually, from what I've read it seems like she really likes you

yeah the other meetups with friends were organised as 'events' on facebook but I suppose it wouldn't be too odd asking her to hang out by FB either... and I don't think I nag too much fortunately ( I hope)... usually wait at least 30 mins to reply or however long she took in the first place... but yeah I do also look at her replies, which are usually as long as mine (paragraph) or sometimes longer! But yeah, thanks for the advice, I guess its time I asked her to hang out soon-ish

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 14

Lollypop0

5

Ask her friend if she likes you, and then if she does ask to meet up with her. Be honest and ask her out, girls like guys who are confident but I would say to do it face to face and do it now before it gets to close to exams :smile:

good luck I did my gcses last year and they were fine :smile:

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Reply 15

JamieC1234

OP

Original post by mickel_w

Edit: as for the parents thing, if they can see you're revising hard and take interest in your own learning they should be lenient enough to let you go out. Try and talk to them, if you open up to them a bit (I know how hard that is sometimes) and tell them there's this really cool girl who's smart etc and I'd like to hang out with her, they should let you (they will be happy you opened up to them, as teenagers usually don't tell their parents much). Also, if possible meet up before the exams, as they are a long time away yet.

Yup, I think that's what I'll do, show them some revision material or get them to test me so I can prove I have all my stuff together... then hopefully get them to allow me to go out on a weekend or after school for a drink with her...

Reply 16

JamieC1234

OP

Original post by Lollypop0

Ask her friend if she likes you, and then if she does ask to meet up with her. Be honest and ask her out, girls like guys who are confident but I would say to do it face to face and do it now before it gets to close to exams :smile:

good luck I did my gcses last year and they were fine :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Her friend definitely said that she likes me, but I can't meet her face to face to ask her out as I don't go to the same school and randomly popping up would be more a little weird... so I'll have to do it by FB... but thanks for the advice regarding timing :smile:

Seems its better sooner rather than later

Reply 17

Lollypop0

5

Would there be any way you could get her number? That may be better than FB. But when you do ask her you have to tell us :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 18

JamieC1234

OP

Only other thing would be to get it from her friend, but that's quite creepy in my opinion... I could use snapchat but I think that's more cowardly than facebook

Last Question; How often would a girl think is too much/ too persistent when a guy messages her? (eg- 4 timesa week or 3 times... right now, I talk to her once or twice each week on FB)