Title is misleading. I'm gonna preface this with me being brutally honest. I don't deserve to feel the remorse. I don't deserve to feel sad, or miss her, or any of the things that I feel. That's not me being overdramatic, or seeking validation or whatever. It's the truth. I didn't treat her right, I wasn't what she deserved and I am fully aware of that. But I miss her. I'm an idiot. You only appreciate things once they're gone, that's the sad truth. And everyone keeps telling me things get better and all that crap. None of it helps. I wake up every day and miss her. I have nightmares about her. I spend all day thinking about her, missing her or thinking about all the tiny little things about her that made her special to me. And it's the most basic generic thing ever, I know I'm not the only one but everyone experiences this or worse. But I've been really struggling with my mental health for a very very very long time and I just keep seeming to get worse and worse, and one of the biggest contributors is her. I know I don't deserve to feel this way as I already said, but it still keeps coming every day over and over and over. Every moment of solace that I can gain is clouded by how I failed her. How do I move on. It's been like 5-6 months. I don't ever want to forget her, or lose what I have learnt. But I'm still bound to her. Every time I talk to someone I feel like I'm cheating, every time I see my reflection I see what failed her, every time I feel like I should move on I feel like I'm disrespecting her memory. I Just don't know what to do. Please help. It's not only painful for me, it's disrespectful to her. And no this isn't a pity party, looking for someone to say "No no you did nothing wrong" I absolutely did and I don't need the pity. Just help me feel better, but don't tell me I wasn't wrong because that's just not true. What do I do?