Rough sex - can it still be intimate?

So I don't usually talk about sex much with my friends but the other night we were a bit drunk and I mentioned how I really love sex with my new guy because he is really rough in bed. She said that's horrible cos if we never 'make love' then we're never properly intimate

is she wrong or am I the weird one?? I personally find the rough sex to be even more intimate - there has to be real trust for him to choke me and stuff, and afterwards he'll kiss the places he bruised and holds me close, and we really love each other

id welcome some opinions on this

So I don't usually talk about sex much with my friends but the other night we were a bit drunk and I mentioned how I really love sex with my new guy because he is really rough in bed. She said that's horrible cos if we never 'make love' then we're never properly intimate

is she wrong or am I the weird one?? I personally find the rough sex to be even more intimate - there has to be real trust for him to choke me and stuff, and afterwards he'll kiss the places he bruised and holds me close, and we really love each other

id welcome some opinions on this

I agree with you completely, for me it's very intimate. I like to choke and slap my girlfriend and be a bit rough with her (she lets me) and I absolutely love it, I love treating her like an object. I view her as my slut and because of that, I like to be rough on her in bed so that she knows she's my slut. Plus she tells me not to be nice to her. It's incredibly intimate and I'm really into it. As long as you talk about it beforehand, when you both want the same thing then it can be just as intimate as anything else. I've never left bruises on her though, she probably wouldn't let me. I'd like to be even more rough on her but I'm not sure if she'd be up for that, she said I slapped her too hard last time. Anyway, to answer your question again, rough sex can be incredibly intimate under the right circumstances when both partners agree to it.

the bruises are fine, if I wanted him to stop he would. But he's very physically big and strong compared to me so I do normally end up with bruises

I wouldn't mind leaving bruises on my girl but I don't think she'd want that. Whereabouts are the bruises on your body, if you don't mind me asking? That sounds nice. And how do you get the bruises, does he slap/punch/scratch/grab/squeeze/headbutt you?

no I don't mind, apparently I'm not gonna be talking about it with friends any time soon!

bruises on my neck, chest, random other places, from biting, slapping, grabbing and choking

I wouldn't mind leaving bruises on my girl but I don't think she'd want that. Whereabouts are the bruises on your body, if you don't mind me asking? That sounds nice. And how do you get the bruises, does he slap/punch/scratch/grab/squeeze/headbutt you?

Ah wow that's very nice. I would have thought the pain would detract from the pleasure, I'd love to go all out and bruise my girl to such an extent as what you've described. So far I haven't been very violent with her but I'm hoping she'll let me one day. I definitely get what you're saying about knowing who you belong to. I think that's one of the best things about rough sex, when a man can give you that then you definitely start to feel closer to each other and you feel like you're his. It's difficult for a lot of people to understand, people would probably laugh at you if you told them. Me, I think it's a wonderful thing. I've never been violent outside the bedroom but during sex, it's all I want to do now.

Apparently some girls like to be choked - and then they complain about patriarchy. So weird.

Ah wow that's very nice. I would have thought the pain would detract from the pleasure, I'd love to go all out and bruise my girl to such an extent as what you've described. So far I haven't been very violent with her but I'm hoping she'll let me one day. I definitely get what you're saying about knowing who you belong to. I think that's one of the best things about rough sex, when a man can give you that then you definitely start to feel closer to each other and you feel like you're his. It's difficult for a lot of people to understand, people would probably laugh at you if you told them. Me, I think it's a wonderful thing. I've never been violent outside the bedroom but during sex, it's all I want to do now.

As long as the rough sex thing is mutual, of course it can be intimate. Sex itself is such an intimate thing, whether you love it vanilla or more rougher. Your friend's comment about it being racially influenced is a bit much though...