I can't stop thinking about my bestfriend's **** size...

he told me it was just over or a bit over 6 inches which is above average given that the average is about 5.5 inches, but generally also 5-6 inches, and i ended up masturbating 5 times in one day (new record) over it. i just cant help but think about it and i found a porn video of someone masturbating with their 6 inch+ penis and the body shape and fingers/fingernails just reminds me of my bestfriends so im always thinking that its him.

i cant get over the thought that it could fit both my hands round it when its probably a normal size. im just about 5 inches. (hes straight, im bi, he knows, and he knows i used to be in love with him, im over him now but i still am sexually attracted to him, just not emotionally).

ughhhh. didnt know where else to post this and just wanted to let it out.
thing is that hes not even good looking and looks quite nerdy and i doubt a girl will go out with him or anything for quite a long time.