I'm the other woman

I recently started seeing someone at work (just flirting and sexting, nothing in real life). However he turned out to have a girlfriend, and his girlfriend is related to several people at work. When I found this out I broke it off with him, but we still talked and we've ended up carrying it on, even though he has a girlfriend. I keep telling him no but I love the attention and she has cheated on him several times, so he feels it's justified. I am sure he intends to try something in person, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, I do like him but on the other he has a girlfriend and it would be unfair to her.
PLUS there is a guy I really like who we both work with, and he has a girlfriend too. He's a big flirt, but the things he says to me are different - he has told me that if he was single he'd want to be with me, and that he thinks I'll make a good wife one day, and that he really likes me.

What do I do?

Reply 1

Zaffre

9

Original post by Anonymous

I recently started seeing someone at work (just flirting and sexting, nothing in real life). However he turned out to have a girlfriend, and his girlfriend is related to several people at work. When I found this out I broke it off with him, but we still talked and we've ended up carrying it on, even though he has a girlfriend. I keep telling him no but I love the attention and she has cheated on him several times, so he feels it's justified. I am sure he intends to try something in person, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, I do like him but on the other he has a girlfriend and it would be unfair to her.
PLUS there is a guy I really like who we both work with, and he has a girlfriend too. He's a big flirt, but the things he says to me are different - he has told me that if he was single he'd want to be with me, and that he thinks I'll make a good wife one day, and that he really likes me.

What do I do?

Sorry if this sounds brutal, but I'm just going to say it how it is.

Don't be with either of these guys - you don't want to end up with someone you know is capable of cheating. It's asking for trouble. Also if people find out then you can end up looking like the bad guy and it'll end up affecting your work life.

Secondly, tell the first guy that he needs to tell his girlfriend about this or else you will. It's not fair on her, and if they're cheating on each other then they need to sort out their relationship or just break up. It's not a healthy relationship to be in.

Reply 2

william walker

3

Seriously these people can't be trusted. I would have anything to do with them.

Reply 3

Little Popcorns

21

Thing about being a good wife oneday :puke:

Also... Find a guy without a girlfriend.

Reply 4

SophieSmall

21

You seriously need to re-evaluate how much you value and respect yourself.
No self respecting or non delusional person would puruse someone already in a relationship hoping for an actual healthy relationship to follow.

Reply 5

Kozlov

2

"The student room" more like "the hoe room" am i rite lads

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 6

claireestelle

22

Original post by Anonymous

I recently started seeing someone at work (just flirting and sexting, nothing in real life). However he turned out to have a girlfriend, and his girlfriend is related to several people at work. When I found this out I broke it off with him, but we still talked and we've ended up carrying it on, even though he has a girlfriend. I keep telling him no but I love the attention and she has cheated on him several times, so he feels it's justified. I am sure he intends to try something in person, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, I do like him but on the other he has a girlfriend and it would be unfair to her.
PLUS there is a guy I really like who we both work with, and he has a girlfriend too. He's a big flirt, but the things he says to me are different - he has told me that if he was single he'd want to be with me, and that he thinks I'll make a good wife one day, and that he really likes me.

What do I do?

I think its best to end what you have with that guy and no start with anyone else who has a girlfriend, being the cheatee will not be a good foundation for the relationship i m afraid

Reply 7

CherryKim

4

If that guy is cheating on his girlfriend then you can bet that he will cheat on you when someone else comes along. Get away while it's early.

Reply 8

diamondluck

2

Original post by Kozlov

"The student room" more like "the hoe room" am i rite lads

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 9

G-mute1995

7

You need to open your eyes and realise that these guys are using you to escape the reality of their bad relationships. Would they pay you any interest if you didn't dissolve the thoughts of their unhealthy relationships for a couple of hours? No. They wouldn't.

You need to get a semblance of self worth and dignity. Stop this foolishness, if you want attention go and find a guy who is single. Don't drool over someone else's sloppy seconds.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 10

koalabear20

6

Original post by Anonymous

I recently started seeing someone at work (just flirting and sexting, nothing in real life). However he turned out to have a girlfriend, and his girlfriend is related to several people at work. When I found this out I broke it off with him, but we still talked and we've ended up carrying it on, even though he has a girlfriend. I keep telling him no but I love the attention and she has cheated on him several times, so he feels it's justified. I am sure he intends to try something in person, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, I do like him but on the other he has a girlfriend and it would be unfair to her.
PLUS there is a guy I really like who we both work with, and he has a girlfriend too. He's a big flirt, but the things he says to me are different - he has told me that if he was single he'd want to be with me, and that he thinks I'll make a good wife one day, and that he really likes me.

What do I do?

I would take the compliments as a self esteem boost and let both of them wreck their relationships messing about with someone else than be dragged into it. One is a sleaze.. one is a little more respectful. Be friends with the latter guy.. get the attention you crave from him, switch off from the other guy, just be civil but turn cold and innattentive with him wherever possible.. you pretty much figured out already that theres a high possibility he sees you as a means to an end to get back at his missus.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 11

Catsarepurrfect

11

Original post by koalabear20

I would take the compliments as a self esteem boost and let both of them wreck their relationships messing about with someone else than be dragged into it. One is a sleaze.. one is a little more respectful. Be friends with the latter guy.. get the attention you crave from him, switch off from the other guy, just be civil but turn cold and innattentive with him wherever possible.. you pretty much figured out already that theres a high possibility he sees you as a means to an end to get back at his missus.

This is a 5 year old thread :biggrin:

Reply 12

koalabear20

6

Original post by Catsarepurrfect

This is a 5 year old thread :biggrin:

silly me.. I was clicking on related discussions :frown:

.. thought the posts were recent.

Reply 13

Catsarepurrfect

11

Original post by koalabear20

silly me.. I was clicking on related discussions :frown:

.. thought the posts were recent.

Don't worry about it, nearly everyone made that mistake at least once, me included :biggrin:

Reply 14

koalabear20

6

Original post by Catsarepurrfect

Don't worry about it, nearly everyone made that mistake at least once, me included :biggrin:

thank you for not flaming me :biggrin:

Reply 15

candydiva

16

Yeah I've done that several times too....I think it's a problem on TSR tbh coz first it's not evident what age of threads r acceptable to follow up and second even if it's old it can be directly relevant...the human condition doesn't change and the advice given 5 yrs ago to most sits is still the same...OK we change FB/IG to OF but otherwise, the same responses are just as useful as they were first time around. So y is this a prob rlly?

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I recently started seeing someone at work (just flirting and sexting, nothing in real life). However he turned out to have a girlfriend, and his girlfriend is related to several people at work. When I found this out I broke it off with him, but we still talked and we've ended up carrying it on, even though he has a girlfriend. I keep telling him no but I love the attention and she has cheated on him several times, so he feels it's justified. I am sure he intends to try something in person, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, I do like him but on the other he has a girlfriend and it would be unfair to her.
PLUS there is a guy I really like who we both work with, and he has a girlfriend too. He's a big flirt, but the things he says to me are different - he has told me that if he was single he'd want to be with me, and that he thinks I'll make a good wife one day, and that he really likes me.

What do I do?

Stop doing it maybe?

I'm the other woman

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