Guys and girls in relationships please help..

Hi everyone!

I just want to take a poll..

Guys and girls.. How would you feel if you found out that your significant other was going out alone with another girl/guy? So guys it would be your girlfriend going out alone with another guy and girls viseversa....

Do you think it is appropriate for a girl in a relationship to go to the cinema alone with a guy? Or a guy in a relationship to go alone with a girl?

I wanna know how you'd feel if it was on purpose and by accident..

So by accident it would be like this for example; if it wasn't planned.. Like your SO and her/his friends were all supposed to going out to the movies as a group but everyone cancelled except your S.O and the other guy/girl... Would you feel it was okay for them to go alone with that person?

Little side note...

How would you feel if you told your partner you felt uncomfortable with the idea of them basically going on a date with someone else and they said "I don't see anything wrong with it so yeah I would still do it"

Any help is very much appreciated!

Thank you all so much!

Reply 1

T-go

2

I wouldn't be that bothered unless they hid it in a weird way. Why do you feel uncomfortable? Why can't you go too?

Reply 2

Anon1997

Original post by T-go

I wouldn't be that bothered unless they hid it in a weird way. Why do you feel uncomfortable? Why can't you go too?

This is just an example scenario, like a big "What if.."

So I wouldn't be able to go because I'd be at work or in class and it would be organised for a time that I wasn't able to go..

I just wanted to get people opinions on it because personally I think it's not right for a girl or guy to hang out with someone of he opposite sex alone.. Like I think it's fine in a group like even if it was several guys and one girl or Bose versa but alone, one on one like that doesn't seem right to me?

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 3

T-go

2

Why doesn't it seem right? Do you not trust your boyfriend? How does he know the girl?

Reply 4

Anon1997

It's not happening to me lol 😂 this is literally just a "what if scenario" to find out what people think 😂

Reply 5

T-go

2

Oh, haha. They are questions I would need the answers to to evaluate the situation properly though.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 6

D1Ultimate

1

If both parties trust each other 'why not'?
I would not bother myself doing any questioning anyway...but if it brings any doubt such as:
*the time she returned
**drunk
***smelling/stinking
****feeling paranoid
sorry! Am a 'weirdo', then am gonna have to inspect her panties immediately! True!

Reply 7

Anon1997

Ah okay, fair enough :smile:

well just generally if a guy or girl is in a relationship and they go out alone with a person of the opposite sex?

They aren't close friends because they would have only know each other a few days or weeks, it's not like a long time friendship or anything.. Just a new one and still getting to know the person or just got to know them.. That kind of situation

Additionally the person knows their partner wouldn't be comfortable with it but they do it anyway because they don't see anything wrong with it? Do you think that is okay to do?

Reply 8

Anon1997

Original post by D1Ultimate

If both parties trust each other 'why not'?
I would not bother myself doing any questioning anyway...but if it brings any doubt such as:
*the time she returned
**drunk
***smelling/stinking
****feeling paranoid
sorry! Am a 'weirdo', then am gonna have to inspect her panties immediately! True!

I don't think you're a weirdo mate 😂

I just think like it's weird for someone in a relationship to go out alone with someone else of the opposite sex.. Like especially if you don't know the other person they are going out with and you don't find out till after its happened? And you're partner knows you're not comfortable with it?

I guess that's where I'm a "weirdo" .. I think it's fine for a girl and guy to hang out alone if they're both single or if hey have to for work/uni but just to get dinner together or watch a movie.. To me that's like a date.. It just doesn't sit right with me :/

Reply 9

Alexion

17

Original post by Anonymous

...

Are you the same person that asked a similar question about going out alone with their friends?

I'm gonna give my same response, it's a shame that people are too paranoid to understand that people can go out with friends outside of their own sex without anything 'happening'...

Reply 10

D1Ultimate

1

Original post by Anon1997

I don't think you're a weirdo mate 😂

I just think like it's weird for someone in a relationship to go out alone with someone else of the opposite sex.. Like especially if you don't know the other person they are going out with and you don't find out till after its happened? And you're partner knows you're not comfortable with it?

I guess that's where I'm a "weirdo" .. I think it's fine for a girl and guy to hang out alone if they're both single or if hey have to for work/uni but just to get dinner together or watch a movie.. To me that's like a date.. It just doesn't sit right with me :/

Look! If that's the case, I am sorry I can not be in for it - Honestly!
If it happens that I don't know the guy from nowhere and plans to go out with my partner - How dare him! He should just disappear and go to the JOBCENTREPLUZ to look for someone to go on a date with.

If my partner refuses and insists, I am telling you there's something behind this, then they should go ahead...you know what? I told you am a 'WEIRDO', then am gonna have to stalk them (with my small camera).

Reply 11

QueenAryela

8

Nope. Not at all. Guys can't control themselves if they are given choice so I would need to know this girl very well. If I don't then nah, i'll convince him all the fun he needs that night is in the bedroom.

Reply 12

choc biscuit

4

It doesn't matter what anyone else feels op. All that maters is that YOU don't like it and your bf doesn't respect you enough to acknowledge or attempt to accomodate your feelings. If he is disregarding your feelings in this, don't expect over time it will get better...It won't.

Reply 13

D1Ultimate

1

Original post by QueenAryela

Nope. Not at all. Guys can't control themselves if they are given choice so I would need to know this girl very well. If I don't then nah, i'll convince him all the fun he needs that night is in the bedroom.

Aryela:
You are very right...No chance!

Reply 14

Wolfegirl98

10

It's happened to me before... It was quite upsetting, but only because I knew that he used to have a crush on her before he met me and also because she was much prettier than me!

Reply 15

Anon1997

Original post by Alexion

Are you the same person that asked a similar question about going out alone with their friends?

I'm gonna give my same response, it's a shame that people are too paranoid to understand that people can go out with friends outside of their own sex without anything 'happening'...

This is my first post on this site, so different person :smile:

But I'm not afraid of anything "happening" .. I just think it's weird in general? If one or more of the people are in a relationship.

Reply 16

LavenderBlueSky88

20

Depends who it was... My boyfriend has a few girl mates who he has known for years, if it was one of them I wouldn't bat an eyelid. If it was some girl I didn't know or had never heard him mention I'd be a bit confused but I wouldn't acuse him of anything.

Reply 17

BreakTheIce

2

The person who made this post is my girlfriend. I've made some similar posts to this one over the last few days to see what other people think.

I love this girl to bits there is no question on that. Of course I respect her feelings, too.

I will be going to university soon and she and I disagree on this one point alone, otherwise, I'd like to think we're perfect for eachother.

Let's call this girl Angel, because that's what she is.

Angel believes that men and women can make friends with people of the opposite sex, but if they ever were to hang out alone that it would be a betrayal, and that it would be grounds for breaking up.

Angel also believes that even if it were by accident that two friends of the opposite sex ended up hanging out (for example due to a third friend cancelling last minute) that the two friends should not want to hang out together and cancel the plans altogether.

I on the other hand believe it's perfectly normal to hang out with people of the opposite sex - I believe that friends of whatever sex can remain friends and nothing more, regardless of whether they hang out alone or not, and I know in myself that I would never even be at all tempted to do anything with another girl because the only one I want is the one that I hope I still have.

Thus, unlike my Angel I believe that in a relationship it should be up to each individual to determine if a certain situation, or a certain friend, was "suspicious" or not (whether they were a threat to the relationship or not), and to trust the other accordingly.

The bottom line is, I love this girl with all my heart and we have hit a rough patch. She's all I want and hanging out with other girls would not in my eyes put her in any sort of competition with anyone else, but I worry she thinks that my just hanging out with someone else would mean I'm not satisfied wholly with our relationship, whereas in reality my time with her has been the best in my life.

Thanks to anyone who cared enough to read this...

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Reply 18

Anon1997

Original post by QueenAryela

Nope. Not at all. Guys can't control themselves if they are given choice so I would need to know this girl very well. If I don't then nah, i'll convince him all the fun he needs that night is in the bedroom.

I don't agree that guys can't control themselves but I think you have a point about needing to know the other person. I trust him completely but I have a hard time trusting people in general and people I don't know.. I just find it unsettling that he would want to be alone with another girl.. Like if it was me in that situation I'd feel too uncomfortable and wouldn't want to be alone with another guy.. And it makes me think what type of girl would be comfortable with that situation.. Not the type of girl I'd be comfortable with :/

Reply 19

Anon1997

Original post by choc biscuit

It doesn't matter what anyone else feels op. All that maters is that YOU don't like it and your bf doesn't respect you enough to acknowledge or attempt to accomodate your feelings. If he is disregarding your feelings in this, don't expect over time it will get better...It won't.

That's what I'm afraid of.. I know I can be the typical "annoying girlfriend" because I suffer with anxiety.. but I will always admit when I am in the wrong and apologise for it.. But this time I really feel like I'm not saying anything wrong and he's treating it like a situation where I'm being "crazy" and wrong and "letting my anxiety block my judgement" .. It makes me feel like he doesn't care.. I know he does but I feel like I wouldn't even hesitate if it was me in that situation.. If he had anxiety and thought it was weird I'd be totally supportive and not do it because I care about him...

But it's not even about anxiety it's just about it being weird in general..

Guys and girls in relationships please help..

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