Share your stories of/thoughts on sexual harassment (male)

Announcements Posted on
How helpful is our apprenticeship zone? Have your say with our short survey 02-12-2016
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I wanted to make a thread where guys could talk about sexual harassment they'd experienced without being judged or being told they should be grateful and enjoy it (any such comments will be immediately reported).

    Feel free to share stories, experiences and how it effected you.

    I've had multiple incidents, but the one that sticks in my mind the most is in a nightclub. A girl stole the hat I was wearing, swung it around and hid it behind her back. When I reached to get it back (so had my arm essentially around her) she grabbed the back of my head, forced me against the wall and stuck her tongue down my throat.

    Due to shock as much as anything I didn't push her off immediately, and she took this to mean, even when I had pushed her off, that I really wanted it and kept trying. I gave up on ever keeping my hat and left the club not long after.

    Was in a relationship at the time and I don't think my gf fully believed me when I told her. I mean guys don't get sexually assaulted right? I must have had something to do with it. Not sure she ever quite trusted me as much after.

    So what incidents have you guys had? What effect did they have on you? Do you feel more should be done to bring such incidents to light and stop the culture that guys should are thirsty and should be grateful for any action they can get?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wanted to make a thread where guys could talk about sexual harassment they'd experienced without being judged or being told they should be grateful and enjoy it (any such comments will be immediately reported).

    Feel free to share stories, experiences and how it effected you.

    I've had multiple incidents, but the one that sticks in my mind the most is in a nightclub. A girl stole the hat I was wearing, swung it around and hid it behind her back. When I reached to get it back (so had my arm essentially around her) she grabbed the back of my head, forced me against the wall and stuck her tongue down my throat.

    Due to shock as much as anything I didn't push her off immediately, and she took this to mean, even when I had pushed her off, that I really wanted it and kept trying. I gave up on ever keeping my hat and left the club not long after.

    Was in a relationship at the time and I don't think my gf fully believed me when I told her. I mean guys don't get sexually assaulted right? I must have had something to do with it. Not sure she ever quite trusted me as much after.

    So what incidents have you guys had? What effect did they have on you? Do you feel more should be done to bring such incidents to light and stop the culture that guys should are thirsty and should be grateful for any action they can get?
    Shouldnt the bouncers remove creeps like that?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by NoumanAliKhan)
    Shouldnt the bouncers remove creeps like that?
    Probably, but she was conventionally hot and I'm a 20 something guy. How do you think the average bouncer is likely to respond to that?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I don't think that was sexual harassment. A girl tried getting on you in a club.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    I don't think that was sexual harassment. A girl tried getting on you in a club.
    She stole my stuff just to get me close, physically forced herself on me and continued to do so when I made it clear I wasn't interested... if that's how you try and get off with people in clubs then sorry, but you have issues.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She stole my stuff just to get me close, physically forced herself on me and continued to do so when I made it clear I wasn't interested... if that's how you try and get off with people in clubs then sorry, but you have issues.
    Perhaps you weren't standing in a tight enough circle or didn't hide in the toilets quick enough?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by NoumanAliKhan)
    Perhaps you weren't standing in a tight enough circle or didn't hide in the toilets quick enough?
    Why should I have to?
    #2

    ok guys, I need to know if you think I committed (unwitting) sexual harassment. http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...4#post68462684
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    i don't think enough people recognise sexual harassment towards men, and especially that caused by women. it's a big deal and it sucks that we can't talk about it openly because of the 'tough, masculine' label given to men. the same label that tells us that we can't not enjoy sexual situations, consensual or not.
    there needs to be more awareness for men's sexual health - including rape and sexual assault. because right now it's appalling how much people, even men, love to silence it.
    #2

    (Original post by renphobia)
    i don't think enough people recognise sexual harassment towards men, and especially that caused by women. it's a big deal and it sucks that we can't talk about it openly because of the 'tough, masculine' label given to men. the same label that tells us that we can't not enjoy sexual situations, consensual or not.
    there needs to be more awareness for men's sexual health - including rape and sexual assault. because right now it's appalling how much people, even men, love to silence it.
    sexual harassment against men is sadly something which people dont want to deal with. I have been inappropriately poked by former supervisors who made every attempt at sacking me from my job straight out of uni (as well as some other stuff which could be considered illegal and definately unprofessional). but sadly, because men are "stronger and more intimidating" than women, the legal system favours women even if they are the aggressors and men are the victims. conversely, there should be very clear guidelines what constitutes sexual harassment and what doesnt.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wanted to make a thread where guys could talk about sexual harassment they'd experienced without being judged or being told they should be grateful and enjoy it (any such comments will be immediately reported).

    Feel free to share stories, experiences and how it effected you.

    I've had multiple incidents, but the one that sticks in my mind the most is in a nightclub. A girl stole the hat I was wearing, swung it around and hid it behind her back. When I reached to get it back (so had my arm essentially around her) she grabbed the back of my head, forced me against the wall and stuck her tongue down my throat.

    Due to shock as much as anything I didn't push her off immediately, and she took this to mean, even when I had pushed her off, that I really wanted it and kept trying. I gave up on ever keeping my hat and left the club not long after.

    Was in a relationship at the time and I don't think my gf fully believed me when I told her. I mean guys don't get sexually assaulted right? I must have had something to do with it. Not sure she ever quite trusted me as much after.

    So what incidents have you guys had? What effect did they have on you? Do you feel more should be done to bring such incidents to light and stop the culture that guys should are thirsty and should be grateful for any action they can get?


    nobody cares about sexual harassment done on men,

    if you had reported this to a bouncer most likely he would have laughed at you, if you had done this to a girl and she reported you ..you would get thrown out the club for sure.

    a random girl once pinched my ass in the club unsolicited. I didn't really find her attractive. I didn't think it was a big deal either so didn't really feel the need to report it....but what annoys me ..is that i had taken it as a big deal [and many women would if it was a man they don't find attractive pinching their ass] ..nothing would get done about it because I am male and the person doing it is female.
    Online

    3
    ReputationRep:
    As a female, I have to agree sadly that the balance isn't right for men and for women. I am honestly sorry for all of you who have experienced sexual assault and weren't Taken seriously because you're male. It's sad and it's unjust and I think it's also good that this thread was made and hopefully we can get more awareness and things done for those boys and men who have experienced sexual assault and been told to "man up".
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: November 10, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Today on TSR
Poll
Would you rather have...?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.