My bf scared me today, but there are issues in the relationship that are my fault.

My boyfriend of 2 years is nice most of the ime but criticises me often, I put that down to him just having a strong work ethic/personality. The relationship has issues because basically i dont like sex. I dont outright refuse but i dont act sexy etc so he doesnt bother, sex is non existant between us. This frustrates him and can understand why he has had tons of patience with me (ive seen gp tried to sortvthe prob) but what i want to know is how much frustration is deemed acceptable for him to show?

He text me today asking if i could help with his attic as he is moving into a new flat. I wont move with him because i dont like his current attitude like he gets annoyed/criticises for small things, i feel as though everything has to be done his way. Anyway i went down to help him and he was trying to put together an old wooden shelf with limited success.

He got very angry and said 'im sick of ****, theres always something goes wrong in life im just not moving forward with anything you, work, my injury (he cant play sport) and now this'. He started kicking the shelf like mad repeatedly then said 'bastard'. He brought up the topic of my problem and started getting annoyed, saying it was affecting his life. I felt scared so said 'dont everything out on me'. He calmed down but yea im just a bit worried it sill happen again and i feel its my fault but at the same time dont know whats right/wrong. I expect him to be frustrated but i mean ..how much?

You obviously don't understand male psychology very much. Can you imagine how frustrating it is for him to put up with a gf who won't have sex with him? You haven't sorted out your own problems and in the meantime he gets incredibly wound up, just like any guy would when they haven't had sex for ages. The anger builds up but the guy holds it together until one day he loses it, and then you criticise the result when in fact you created the problem in the first place. Females by nature do that all the time. If you know he isn't like this most of the time, why are you complaining after only one incident? He was probably having a bad day (stress, work, injury), and yet you don't have enough patience with him to recognise that before you came ranting on here. The way I see it, he has been much more patient with you than you have for him. It sounds to me like you're a dead weight in your relationship, which is why he feels the need to take the lead - and that hurts your ego. He has made the effort moving into a new place and asking you to move in with him, while you throw it back in his face and expect him not to get upset about it. You literally just brush off all the things you're doing to treat him like ****, and then you ask what's acceptable from him? IMO he hasn't shown enough frustration - if I was in his position I would have cut you loose months ago. Give your bf a break for being so patient with you.

He says every women he's been with has had something wrong with them in some way

he's 56

he criticises most things i do including what i wear (im not feminine enough), my decisions in life (he says ive not achieved anything) and called me a ****ing imbecile the other day.

Red flag. He is the common denominator here.




Uhh...




OMG dump. Pls.

I do like him when he's being decent.

You don't need it, so no one else does? Lol, you're wrong.
I and many other guys (even a lot of girls) need sex. No sex is a deal breaker for most people.

Why do you think so many middle aged guys are so miserable in unhappy marriages? It's because their partners decide they don't want to have sex anymore.

He has cut me loose but then he always asks to meet up and wants to get back with me, the relationship has been on and off. Ive said that i understand why he's frustrated, im posting about the way he expresses it. Ive tried to sort the problem i saw a therapist and paid over £500 in total which was a waste of time/money as it didnt really help.

You think im a dead weight maybe ive not explained the stuff i do for him like driving him everywhere i feel the relationship is an extra chore in my life even though i have feelings for him. He has problems in his life like injuries, his parents died, he has fell out with him family, his sister is giving him hassle etc.

I get the frustration about sex but i didnt cause all these problems. He says every women he's been with has had something wrong with them in some way (he's had lots as he's a lot older than me, he's 56, but I dont want to move in with him (least not yet) as i feel he criticises most things i do including what i wear (im not feminine enough), my decisions in life (he says ive not achieved anything) and called me a ****ing imbecile the other day. I just completely ignore it to avoid argument. I get his frustration but i didnt cause all his life problems. Moving in would be like walking on eggshells but of course i wouldnt know unless i tried i suppose)

As he said the relationship is more like being mates at the moment. I have tried to solve my problem. Originally it was a combination of lack of sexual intetest and worrying about catching stuff (as he's had lits of women) I suggested we both get tested for sti's ages ago but he wont (he thinks it'l make no difference to my interest). We have tried sex but theres certain elements i dont like about it like all the kissing etc (id rather just get on with the intercourse) but he gets frusted at my lack of 'response', guarded body language and it never works. Its weird as even at school/college other girls were dating but i just lacked sexual interest for some reason.

My boyfriend of 2 years is nice most of the ime but criticises me often, I put that down to him just having a strong work ethic/personality. The relationship has issues because basically i dont like sex. I dont outright refuse but i dont act sexy etc so he doesnt bother, sex is non existant between us. This frustrates him and can understand why he has had tons of patience with me (ive seen gp tried to sortvthe prob) but what i want to know is how much frustration is deemed acceptable for him to show?

He text me today asking if i could help with his attic as he is moving into a new flat. I wont move with him because i dont like his current attitude like he gets annoyed/criticises for small things, i feel as though everything has to be done his way. Anyway i went down to help him and he was trying to put together an old wooden shelf with limited success.

He got very angry and said 'im sick of ****, theres always something goes wrong in life im just not moving forward with anything you, work, my injury (he cant play sport) and now this'. He started kicking the shelf like mad repeatedly then said 'bastard'. He brought up the topic of my problem and started getting annoyed, saying it was affecting his life. I felt scared so said 'dont everything out on me'. He calmed down but yea im just a bit worried it sill happen again and i feel its my fault but at the same time dont know whats right/wrong. I expect him to be frustrated but i mean ..how much?