I hate Spending Money

Now don't get me wrong, I will spend money when I need/have to. But on things people see as "nice" I can't help but feel that everything is a massive waste of money, especially when its mine, I worked hard for 2 years before uni while at college to get into the financial position I am in, and my significant other seems to think as I have it that I should spend it. When I spend or lend (even very small amounts) it irritates me and when I have lent money I can't help but constantly think about getting it back, I see it as I'd rather not spend it now but spend it later such as when I finish uni buy myself a very nice car, but my friends and girlfriend see this as a waste of time as I'm quite into my cars but to me, every penny counts and the more I spend now the less achievable my short term dream is. I feel awful, sometimes I feel like I'd even rather not do things with my friends and girlfriend as I can't help but see everything as an expense. Money consumes my life and I think it quite an unhealthy obsession but can't help it, should I see someone or just carry on? I don't know what makes it worse, is it me or the people around me just thinking I should be like them and spend spend away?

You carry on saving dear because it makes you feel better to do this
I'm terrible at saving money and the only way I can do that is not to go out or go in any shops but obviously that's not possible unless I become a hermit
My friends and family are always lecturing me to save and I really don't appreciate their advice as I never asked for it.
It annoys me when anyone tells me what I should do with my own money so I always tell them off and say I don't tell them what to do with their money.
It really puts me off people telling me what to do and I always have to remind them that I'm not wasting money on drugs, cigarettes and alcohol but they always say that's different. So that's what you should say to them every time they tell you to spend money. So they think it's ok for other people to waste money on those things but begrudge me buying myself stuff once every 3 months or once a year or even if I just bought something dead cheap for a fiver they have a problem with that too.

I lose respect for them all and it makes me very angry because no-one likes being told what to spend their money on and nobody has the right to tell anyone else that they should save or spend more.
I always tell them, if I wanted to save I would do and don't need anybody else to tell me to do this plus if anyone tells me what to do I will deliberately do the opposite so it's a waste of time to lecture me about it
They think it's ok to force their opinions on me but even worse are the hypocrites who waste their money on cigarettes, drugs, alcohol regularly but they have the cheek to tell me to save.

If it's getting on your nerves just pretend to agree with them to shut them up but don't actually do what they say but if you want to get out of spending your own money ask other people to pay for you but you might not feel comfortable asking this but if you have a car or get one in future you can pay them back by helping them out by giving them lifts in your car

One friend of mine who used to lecture me about saving I had to tell him to stop doing it because it was putting me off him so he doesn't tell me anymore
He works as a carer and would tell me how his client lends £200 a week on cigarettes but if he wasn't a client but just a friend I guarantee you he would never lecture him but lectures me about spending £5 or £50 but because he is a nice person and thinks he is only trying to help me I have to forgive him so if I always buy him things like food, etc. Eg if I he says certain foods are too expensive and he can't afford it I buy it for him but I used to ask if he wants it first but he says Noel I just buy it anyway secretly then give it to him.
He tells me not to waste money on him but it's not a waste to me as I like buying people things especially if they can't afford to buy it themselves and I know he would do the same for me if he earned more money plus he has bought me stuff in the past including a 40inch TV which he did not say he was buying for me but just turned up with it as a surprise but I offered to pay for it anyway but when he bought it for me he would have asked me to pay it back anyway but still I was very grateful he did it because I had a very small old fashioned TV. But I would have bought him a TV but I would not ask for the money back but I don't expect him to do that with the TV, that's just the way I am.

He buys me small things too every now and again but even if he wasn't such a generous person I would still buy him stuff too.
Also if I want to go to restaurant I would pay for him too or if I want a takeaway like Chinese if I asked him what he wants he will say no to save me money so I have to order him what I think he likes and give it as a surprise. It costs me £30 but if I ordered for just myself it's only £15 but he's worth it and recently he saw a suit he liked in Primark for £30 but he said he could not afford it so I'm planning on buying him a gift card to get it and other things in there. He can't afford a new computer so I'm planning on buying him one but it won't be for a long time as I can't afford it yet because I have to pay back a loan I borrowed on my mum's credit card first And if I get a good job I want to give him the money for plane fare and spending money to visit his family in India because he has not seen them for 4 years and misses them even though he Skype's them every day and I want to buy him a 6 month bus and train pass as he has to walk to work every day to save money

If his favourite cereal costs £2 50 he has to buy cheaper brands so sometimes I buy him the expensive one but I don't tell him I'm buying it or he would refuse to take it
I love buying people stuff and giving them a surprise. Who doesn't want free stuff or free money ?
I love getting free stuff

I recently went on a mad spending spree on my mum's credit card she lent me but I had no idea how much I had spent on crap and I have nothing to show for it so I have to pay it all back which will take me one year. I wasted £3,600 although I did get him wardrobes for £180 out of it but he insisted on paying me back but I refused to take it because if I buy somebody anything I give it for free.
But if I had not been so stupid and reckless I could have spent more of the money helping my friend out more like buying him a new computer and his suit, oyster card to get to work, etc
I offered to give my mum £100 for herself every month and she can choose whatever she wants in clothes shops and I will pay for it but she refused so I can't make her accept it.

When people tell you to spend more and stop saving just say to them that saving is important to you so they should pay for you every time you go out, although you probably won't say that but personally I think you should say it even just to shut them up or see if they actually do it and if anyone does just accept it gracefully
It really upsets me if I buy my family or friend something and they refuse it because it's rude to do that. When they buy me stuff I never refuse it so it isn't fair to buy me something but reject anything I buy them

He likes saving money and thinks it's important and I don't so if he can't afford certain things I will buy it for him because he's a nice person that would help anybody

Reply 21

1secondsofvamps

22

im the same tbh. Ive always been bought up to be careful with money which is why i dont spend money unless i need to. Im happy spending less because it means in the future i would have anough for bigger things

Reply 22

dramaticisa

3

This is coming from someone who's worked 2 low paid jobs at the same time for a year (as a full time care worker for the elderly during the day and in a bar weekend nights) in order to pay for university so I kinda know where you're coming from.

Personally, if I was in your position then I would probably make a list of things in your life that are negatively affected by the lack of money you're willing to spend.
For example, being unable to spend as much time with friends as you'd like cause you don't want to spend money.
After making that list I'd try and make a list of allowances for the things you're missing out on, and set yourself a daily/weekly/monthly budget for all of them, whichever's easiest.

That way you might feel less guilty for spending as long as you're not going over your budget, and you'll still be able to save for a car.
Try it for a month or two and if it's not working for you and you really feel like money controls your life when it doesn't need to you could think about professional help.

Good luck!

Reply 23

Judge Jules

17

Original post by TomJ2297

Now don't get me wrong, I will spend money when I need/have to. But on things people see as "nice" I can't help but feel that everything is a massive waste of money, especially when its mine, I worked hard for 2 years before uni while at college to get into the financial position I am in, and my significant other seems to think as I have it that I should spend it. When I spend or lend (even very small amounts) it irritates me and when I have lent money I can't help but constantly think about getting it back, I see it as I'd rather not spend it now but spend it later such as when I finish uni buy myself a very nice car, but my friends and girlfriend see this as a waste of time as I'm quite into my cars but to me, every penny counts and the more I spend now the less achievable my short term dream is. I feel awful, sometimes I feel like I'd even rather not do things with my friends and girlfriend as I can't help but see everything as an expense. Money consumes my life and I think it quite an unhealthy obsession but can't help it, should I see someone or just carry on? I don't know what makes it worse, is it me or the people around me just thinking I should be like them and spend spend away?

I made a few spelling mistakes, I meant his client spends £200 on cigarettes not lends and I meant no not noel
Also you should not lend money to anyone if you spend time worrying about getting it back as I used to lend money to a work colleague or my sister and they get angry if I ask for it back so i stopped helping them so it's really stressful worrying about whether they'll pay it back plus afterwards my work colleague and I were never as friendly afterwards even though she paid me back but my sister didn't but I forgave her for that as she has given me money free in the past But I would never lend to work colleagues ever again and would always lend to my Indian friend if he asked but he never does anyway. But in my Indian friend and sister's case I would only give them money if it's as a gift because if I give it for free I won't worry about having to ask for it back . But not as a loan because that's a good way to ruin a relationship/friendship by lending money

You should not Tell anyone you save then if they ask to borrow you can say you don't have it. Let them get Loan from a bank or someone else
Then when you have saved enough and after you bought a car then you can reveal you saved to get it
Once people know your good at saving money they will take the piss and ask to borrow instead of going to a bank or other people
Because I'm terrible with money my mum should not have given me a credit card with unlimited funds as I only asked to borrow £500 but I originally asked her to be a guarantor for that amount which she agreed to but then changed her mind and offered me her credit card because she thought it would be cheaper interest for me which it would have been if I had not over spent but I originally asked her to be a guarantor so I could improve my credit rating by paying back on time which I had originally just planned to borrow £500 then pay it off in 2 months then borrow another £500 after it's all paid off and continue to keep borrowing like that as that's the way I always did it before but with smaller loans so I could never get into debt by paying back smaller amounts and paying back on time. But she insisted I use her credit card. I did take the piss by over spending but I did not mean to and I did not know I had spent that much as I thought it's ok to spend more because I will be paying her back £300 a month to clear it but it's a bit of a struggle to pay it back and pay bills but it just means I can't treat myself to things I want or help my friend and mum until I pay it all back.

I paid her back £750 in 2 months so far and that was only because I had a job for one week but lost it through my own stupidity but I gave her every penny from the job which was £250 and left none for myself but that was when I thought I had only spent over £1,000 but I was in shock when I found out how much I really racked up.
I was angry with myself for doing it and kept apologizing but reassured her I would pay back every penny but in order to do that I have to miss paying a few bills but I'd rather be in debt with bills for a while rather than not pay her back as much as possible.
She must be so stressed that she won't get it all back so I have to pay a lot to try to clear it quicker and hopefully I'll get a job soon then I can pay it all off in 3 months instead of one year

Reply 24

z33

21

Your money isn't gonna be worth **** in your grave (unless you leave it to your kids, but you were fine without that help so it's just an added bonus for them). Might as well have fun with it.

Reply 25

Willy Pete

3

Money is literally for spending.

Reply 26

h3rmit

15

Original post by Judge Jules

Because I'm terrible with money my mum should not have given me a credit card with unlimited funds as I only asked to borrow £500 but I originally asked her to be a guarantor for that amount which she agreed to but then changed her mind and offered me her credit card because she thought it would be cheaper interest for me which it would have been if I had not over spent but I originally asked her to be a guarantor so I could improve my credit rating by paying back on time which I had originally just planned to borrow £500 then pay it off in 2 months then borrow another £500 after it's all paid off and continue to keep borrowing like that as that's the way I always did it before but with smaller loans so I could never get into debt by paying back smaller amounts and paying back on time. But she insisted I use her credit card. I did take the piss by over spending but I did not mean to and I did not know I had spent that much as I thought it's ok to spend more because I will be paying her back £300 a month to clear it but it's a bit of a struggle to pay it back and pay bills but it just means I can't treat myself to things I want or help my friend and mum until I pay it all back.

I paid her back £750 in 2 months so far and that was only because I had a job for one week but lost it through my own stupidity but I gave her every penny from the job which was £250 and left none for myself but that was when I thought I had only spent over £1,000 but I was in shock when I found out how much I really racked up.
I was angry with myself for doing it and kept apologizing but reassured her I would pay back every penny but in order to do that I have to miss paying a few bills but I'd rather be in debt with bills for a while rather than not pay her back as much as possible.
She must be so stressed that she won't get it all back so I have to pay a lot to try to clear it quicker and hopefully I'll get a job soon then I can pay it all off in 3 months instead of one year

If your behaviours regarding money are such that you don't know how much you're spending and have to miss bills to pay back debts, maybe you should listen to the people saying you should save up.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 27

username1339858_

16

Money is to spend.
Sure, you should save up too.

Reply 28

username2965904

19

I understand where the OP is coming from, I think. I particularly feel a sense of satisfaction if I can solve a problem without resorting to spending money.

Reply 29

Judge Jules

17

Original post by h3rmit

If your behaviours regarding money are such that you don't know how much you're spending and have to miss bills to pay back debts, maybe you should listen to the people saying you should save up.

I always know how much I'm spending normally but that credit card was a one off, intact it was an overdraft
I would never touch it again, I'd prefer to go to a professional loan company which is what I wanted to do to begin with because they only give a small amount and I would not be struggling to pay it back.
I choose to miss a few bills to make sure the loan gets paid off quicker and I can catch up with the bills at a later date.
And I'm not listening to anybody because I don't spend a lot of money to begin with so my friends and family don't have any right to tell me to save when I only treat myself to cheap things every few months or once a year, they just love telling other people what to do with their money so I don't respect them for that because when they waste money on expensive items on a regular basis I never make them feel bad about it and tell them that they could have saved the money or that it's a waste of money.
I'm not interested in saving money, its not important to me but it is to other people plus I've never had any to save
If I could save money I would not need to borrow on loans

Reply 30

Kallisto

Entertainment Forum Helper

22

Original post by TomJ2297

x

Can understand your view, really. I am used to spend money for things I really needed. And I am always shaking my head when I see my friends spending lots of hundreds pounds for things they are using once or twice a year.

If an equippment for sports is required, of course I would spend my money for this, as it is considered by myself as necessary.

Reply 31

jkls92

20

Spending is one of the sweetes pleasures in life.

Reply 32

Pirko

12

Original post by TomJ2297

Now don't get me wrong, I will spend money when I need/have to. But on things people see as "nice" I can't help but feel that everything is a massive waste of money, especially when its mine, I worked hard for 2 years before uni while at college to get into the financial position I am in, and my significant other seems to think as I have it that I should spend it. When I spend or lend (even very small amounts) it irritates me and when I have lent money I can't help but constantly think about getting it back, I see it as I'd rather not spend it now but spend it later such as when I finish uni buy myself a very nice car, but my friends and girlfriend see this as a waste of time as I'm quite into my cars but to me, every penny counts and the more I spend now the less achievable my short term dream is. I feel awful, sometimes I feel like I'd even rather not do things with my friends and girlfriend as I can't help but see everything as an expense. Money consumes my life and I think it quite an unhealthy obsession but can't help it, should I see someone or just carry on? I don't know what makes it worse, is it me or the people around me just thinking I should be like them and spend spend away?

Why hold on to your money? Simply saving money isn't viable. The value of money, for decades, has been going down, whilst the price of commodities and assets are going up. Hence, if you really valued your money, you would invest.

Reply 33

brainzistheword

Study Forum Helper, Careers Forum Helper

22

Original post by Pirko

Why hold on to your money? Simply saving money isn't viable. The value of money, for decades, has been going down, whilst the price of commodities and assets are going up. Hence, if you really valued your money, you would invest.

If there's no need for OP to spend it and maybe doesn't want to risk it by investing then saving can't really be a bad idea

I hate Spending Money

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