How do girls in Muslim families feel about being arranged into marriage?

Original post by childofthesun

Ah I see, that's quite messed up. I hope your sister is doing better now

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Yeah InshAllah :smile:

That's why when my siblings or parents look at me they just cry because they see her suffering.

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Reply 21

Original post by h333

I understand as long as the family is involved and done the halal way then there should not be a problem. I feel it's more the culture that makes it harder, not Islam itself.

Sorry to know that, hope things get better for her insha'Allah (God willing) . Yeah it's wrong to force someone into marriage like that in Islam anyway.

Yeah I'm our family women had a problem with men. This is because all their fathers were involved and they just wanted their daughters married off as quickly as possible. I haven't got a mindset I want to get married. I need to be independent and finance myself before I hit the age of 25. After that I may think about if, if earlier i wouldn't mind being engaged at 22.

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Reply 22

In all honestly regardless the age. I believe the couple should not commit adultery and if they cannot control their desires they should get married as quickly as possible.

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Reply 23

username3118454

19

Original post by HAnwar

Yeah I get you, I was referring more to love marriages as I can't see that being halal at all.

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What if it's a colleague/classmate/other associate? Muslims do mix in these situations like at uni.

Much better than arranged.

Reply 24

h333

https://islamqa.info/en/7193

Original post by Habina786xx

What If you don't have a wali?

What if you hide from your parents and get a nikkah done because the parents may not approve it? Is that still possible?
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If you read this, maybe it would help answer most of that :smile:

Reply 25

Raizelcadres

13

Original post by angelike1

What if it's a colleague/classmate/other associate? Muslims do mix in these situations like at uni.

Much better than arranged.

This is what I'm curious about.

Reply 26

https://islamqa.info/en/7193

Original post by h333

If you read this, maybe it would help answer most of that :smile:

Thank yuux

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Reply 27

h333

Original post by Habina786xx

Yeah I'm our family women had a problem with men. This is because all their fathers were involved and they just wanted their daughters married off as quickly as possible. I haven't got a mindset I want to get married. I need to be independent and finance myself before I hit the age of 25. After that I may think about if, if earlier i wouldn't mind being engaged at 22.

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Yeah, sadly some families are like that because they lack understanding in Islam. Even happens amongst some non- Muslims because of culture and pressure from the community.

Marriage is highly recommended in islam ofc but you can't be forced into it. Yeah, that's not a problem, as long as you do it the right way insha'Allah(God willing).

Reply 28

Original post by h333

Yeah, sadly some families are like that because they lack understanding in Islam. Even happens amongst some non- Muslims because of culture and pressure from the community.

Marriage is highly recommended in islam ofc but you can't be forced into it. Yeah, that's not a problem, as long as you do it the right way insha'Allah(God willing).

Yeah I think people often mix culture with Islam. Like Islam is totally different to culture.
Clothing isn't Islam.
Modesty is.

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Reply 29

h333

Original post by Habina786xx

Thank yuux

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Welcome

Reply 30

elmosandy

22

Original post by childofthesun

I'm not getting an arranged marriage. It's not really common in my community

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How do people form a Muslim community ? Like especially if you live in a white area and the only Muslim family on the street? I'm just curious

Reply 31

Yoonmirae

1

Original post by smitten_kitten

Just curious how girls in Muslim families feel. Of course there'll be those who are absolutely okay with it, but I'm wondering more about those who don't believe in their family's religion as much. In which case, freedom of life would feel stripped away I imagine. Do you feel like you're unlucky to be born into a Muslim family?

Reading this it sounds like you have the assumption that arranged marriage is a must in Islam. I just want to clear up arranged marriage is an option some take lets say if they feel their parents choice in a husband is better than theirs. Muslim girls are allowed to marry whoever they want, not through arranged marriage they can marry a man they've met personally and have fallen in love with.

So, no being born into a muslim family isn't unlucky because muslim girls can marry just like you marry.

Reply 32

Yoonmirae

1

Original post by smitten_kitten

Just curious how girls in Muslim families feel. Of course there'll be those who are absolutely okay with it, but I'm wondering more about those who don't believe in their family's religion as much. In which case, freedom of life would feel stripped away I imagine. Do you feel like you're unlucky to be born into a Muslim family?

Also, I wanted to clear up that the cases in which they are forced into marriage isn't arranged marriage it is now forced marriage. Forced marriage is predominantly seen more in certain cultures not necessarily Islam, many people confuse tradition and religion and believe they are intertwined. If you get my gist.

Reply 33

childofthesun

19

Original post by elmosandy

How do people form a Muslim community ? Like especially if you live in a white area and the only Muslim family on the street? I'm just curious

My family's situation is a little different, as we're part of a Lebanese diaspora in Côte d'Ivoire (West Africa) and Lebanese people there tend to live in the same neighbourhoods, do business with each other a lot, hold events etc and everyone just knows everyone generally.

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Reply 34

elmosandy

22

Original post by childofthesun

My family's situation is a little different, as we're part of a Lebanese diaspora in Côte d'Ivoire (West Africa) and Lebanese people there tend to live in the same neighbourhoods, do business with each other a lot, hold events etc and everyone just knows everyone generally.

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Ah okay that makes sense. There is some comunntities like that in Britain too. Thankyou☺️

Reply 35

HAnwar

17

Original post by angelike1

What if it's a colleague/classmate/other associate? Muslims do mix in these situations like at uni.

Much better than arranged.

Best way to do it (in that situation) is the way IdeasForLife suggested. If you like a girl, get her guardian's number. If not then bugger off.

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(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 36

username1842595

6

Im against arrange marriages. My mum doesnt know the type of guys I like and I'd much rather find my man myself than get married to a guy of my mums choice.

Reply 37

s_ahmed2

13

People need to understand the difference between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage. The latter is prohibited in Islam.

There is complete choice in an arranged marriage. If the girl is not happy with the potential then she can decline, simple.

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Reply 38

username1339858_