Parents

I need a second opinion on a personal situation. Am I being unreasonable or is my father being unreasonable?

First, a little bit of background about my situation. I'm a 19 year old pakistani man and both my parents are pakistani but my mother was born in the UK. My parents divorced around the time I was 9 years old and I grew up with my mother with occassional visits from my father.
When I turned 13 my father remarried a woman from a pakistani village and he brung her to the UK to live with him.

Fast forward 5 years to when I was 18 years old, I started visiting my fathers house more often than usual. He told me to pretend that I haven't been in contact with him for the past 5 years because he doesn't want his new wife to know hes been seeing me because I live with my mother (who is his ex-wife). My father tells me his new wife has no problem with me but judging from their behaviour whilst I'm at their house, she doesn't accept me.

When I visit my dad at his house he acts like I'm a stranger and he behaves very cold to me. Doesn't shake my hand, doesn't offer me drinks, doesn't make any effort to talk to me or be a welcoming host to a guest, tells me to leave the living room to play with the kids, lectures me about religion (when I have no interest in being a zealot) - just overall treats me with disrespect as if hes disowned me.

Am I unreasonable for thinking its wrong to pretend you've not seen your son to please your new wife or is my dad being unreasonable?


Furthermore, the last time I visited my dad he told me I need to make his wife feel welcome around me. Its a little odd because its usually the other way around; the hosts making the guest feel welcome in their home.