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Advice on coming out?

Basically the title says it all.

For more context: I am a female uni student who recently got into a long distance relationship with another girl. We agreed to be exclusive but to not make the relationship public yet. She has told two close friends of hers (she asked me if she could beforehand) but I haven't told anyone.

I really don't have a clue how to tell my friends and family. We only started dating properly about a week ago so I think I'd rather leave it a few months before saying anything to anyone, but the whole concept of telling people I have a girlfriend really terrifies me and I just can't imagine doing it.

I have never been into girls before and would not really consider dating other girls than her. I'm not sure how to explain it - I love her for just who she is. I look at men and think they are attractive but never look at other women in that way?

I do not have a clue how my friends and family would take it. I think my friends would be quite accepting, even if they did find it strange at first. My family - I really don't know.

There are also the issues of distance and age difference. She literally lives on the other side of the world and we can see each other probably maximum of twice a year currently. I'd consider moving after uni but that's another 3 years. She would also consider moving here but it's too soon for that currently. The age thing: she is 10 years older than me. It doesn't feel like anything to us but I can see it might raise a few eyebrows.

So basically yeah, please drop me any hints or advice. Everything is appreciated as I am completely lost here. Thanks in advance :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Basically the title says it all.

For more context: I am a female uni student who recently got into a long distance relationship with another girl. We agreed to be exclusive but to not make the relationship public yet. She has told two close friends of hers (she asked me if she could beforehand) but I haven't told anyone.

I really don't have a clue how to tell my friends and family. We only started dating properly about a week ago so I think I'd rather leave it a few months before saying anything to anyone, but the whole concept of telling people I have a girlfriend really terrifies me and I just can't imagine doing it.

I have never been into girls before and would not really consider dating other girls than her. I'm not sure how to explain it - I love her for just who she is. I look at men and think they are attractive but never look at other women in that way?

I do not have a clue how my friends and family would take it. I think my friends would be quite accepting, even if they did find it strange at first. My family - I really don't know.

There are also the issues of distance and age difference. She literally lives on the other side of the world and we can see each other probably maximum of twice a year currently. I'd consider moving after uni but that's another 3 years. She would also consider moving here but it's too soon for that currently. The age thing: she is 10 years older than me. It doesn't feel like anything to us but I can see it might raise a few eyebrows.

So basically yeah, please drop me any hints or advice. Everything is appreciated as I am completely lost here. Thanks in advance :smile:


There's no need for you to tell anyone until you've gotten comfortable with it.

Realistically as she doesnt live down the street it is easier to keep under wraps.

When the time is right to tell people you will know.
Don’t ever rush to come out; you should come out because you are comfortable with who you are and not because you feel you ought to. In my experience, no matter how many times you come out, it is always difficult even when you have fully accepted who you are (like myself) but that first time is always the hardest for sure. The good thing is that once it is out there, you will start to learn more about yourself and your sexuality, and that can only be a great thing! 😊

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