More common than my boyfriends family- can it work?

I suppose I just want some advice before I ruin it for myself. We’ve been together for a few months howeverthe more time I spend with him the more I realise our families are really different. I know it shouldn’t matter at all and I know he’d think I’m stupid to even worry about that and probably won’t see how we are that different but I suppose I just have a shell around me.

My parents arent struggling to make ends meeet, we are comfortable and do enjoy nice things as my parents work hard I isn’t feel as though he’s in another class to me. Our families hobbies are very different and just generally I worry I’m not good enough.I’m shy anyway and his parents are full on in terms of wanting to meet me and get to know me. I’ve grown up in a nice area and have been educated well. I plan to work hard and be successful and we aren’t both on the same wavelength. I live in an ex council house, as circumstantially it was best value for the money they had when my parents needed the space. We never got round to moving however it’s always been something that has bothered me, it just feels scruffy and open to judgement. I’m not materialistic at all it’s more I don’t want to open my family up to judgement if you will, because we’ve had it before from friends parents during my school years due to the nice area I live i. I know anybody who is a decent person will not care in the slightest but I still feel hung up about it. I can feel myself backing out over something as trivial as this because I’m trying to protect myself when I don’t need to. He cares a lot and would never intentionally upset me! Thanks in advance.

Reply 1

the bear

20

hey you come from a loving stable family. they may not be millionaires financially but they are emotionally ! learn to value your family while they are still around you :h:

Reply 2

choleCcarknif3r

22

Original post by Anonymous

I suppose I just want some advice before I ruin it for myself. We’ve been together for a few months howeverthe more time I spend with him the more I realise our families are really different. I know it shouldn’t matter at all and I know he’d think I’m stupid to even worry about that and probably won’t see how we are that different but I suppose I just have a shell around me.

My parents arent struggling to make ends meeet, we are comfortable and do enjoy nice things as my parents work hard I isn’t feel as though he’s in another class to me. Our families hobbies are very different and just generally I worry I’m not good enough.I’m shy anyway and his parents are full on in terms of wanting to meet me and get to know me. I’ve grown up in a nice area and have been educated well. I plan to work hard and be successful and we aren’t both on the same wavelength. I live in an ex council house, as circumstantially it was best value for the money they had when my parents needed the space. We never got round to moving however it’s always been something that has bothered me, it just feels scruffy and open to judgement. I’m not materialistic at all it’s more I don’t want to open my family up to judgement if you will, because we’ve had it before from friends parents during my school years due to the nice area I live i. I know anybody who is a decent person will not care in the slightest but I still feel hung up about it. I can feel myself backing out over something as trivial as this because I’m trying to protect myself when I don’t need to. He cares a lot and would never intentionally upset me! Thanks in advance.

It sounds like he and his family really don't care about any of this, the only person that does is you. Maybe actually meeting his parents and developing a relationship with them will help you to realise that while your finances may be a bit different, values and morals are still the same. If they're making such an effort, I don't think you have anything to worry about, honestly

Hello Meghan Markle!

As far as we know from your OP, so far it's only you that gives a ****.

Don't create an issue that isn't actually there.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I can relate to this. My family now have a fair bit of money but we still live in the same tiny house we moved into around 15 years ago in a chavvy area. My parents are immigrants with not a lot of "taste" so I feel a bit embarrassed about my house. We can afford to move but my parents would rather save up as much possible. When my ex boyfriend came over I was nervous about him seeing my house, as I had already visited his lovely house in the countryside. He didn't seem to care. To be honest, I don't think most of us do. That being said, I'm hoping my family moves house before I bring my future husband and his family over for Christmas lunches.
Before he visits just warn him if you think it's necessary. Say that you know your house is a bit crap but you just haven't moved yet.
But yeah I don't think he'll care, he'll just be excited and honoured to be in your home and see where you grew up.