When will sex get pleasurable

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wilde9700
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Ive had sex 11 times now on irregular occasions, and have not found it to be pleasurable yet. I'm concerned that it will never feel good and i can't imagine it myself, how long does it usually take or do i have something to worry about?
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anosmianAcrimony
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Sex should be pleasurable - if it isn't, stop what you're doing and try something different. This may require a bit of communication with your partner. Remember, your pleasure is just as important as theirs!
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username3150658
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Are you a girl or guy?
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UWS
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Do you have foreplay? That's quite important.
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wilde9700
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Im a girl, i have tried everything im not sure what to do?
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username3150658
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Are you tense? Nervous?

Cl** stimulation?

If there is nothing physically wrong with you, it could be mental.

As previously mentioned, foreplay is really important.
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wilde9700
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Sometimes i can be because Im still new to it all, cl** stimulation feels really good its just the sex doesnt. Everybody raves about it being great but i dont see it. How do i change that if its mental? Foreplay has always been a must have for me so i havnt missed it out.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by wilde9700)
Sometimes i can be because Im still new to it all, cl** stimulation feels really good its just the sex doesnt. Everybody raves about it being great but i don't see it. How do i change that if its mental? Foreplay has always been a must have for me so i havnt missed it out.
It wasn't pleasurable for me as well with my first boyfriend. I guess I was always worrying and being tense about something messing up and we were both very inexperienced. But it feels totally different with my new boyfriend and I dunno, it just feels amazing. I never thought I would enjoy sex as much. I guess I'm generally more relaxed and attracted to him. The only thing I can recommend is to just not worry and try to be in the moment (some extra lube is never bad as well )
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Anonymous #2
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I think it massively depends on the person you're with.
With my first boyfriend I never really found it that pleasurable (bearing in mind this relationship lasted 6 years....). It was nice enough, but I didn't orgasm once in the whole six years.... We got together at 16, and we never really explored things to their full potential.
Then we broke up and I got with my current boyfriend and....let's just say wow. It's completely opened up a whole new world.

Don't worry. It can take quite a long time to find what clicks for you. For example, like you, I don't find the actual sex itself mind blowingly pleasurable in that it doesn't stimulate enough to get me off, I have to use a vibrator to be able to do that...luckily my boyfriend is open enough to understand that I need a little extra help. Sex itself is still great though because of the connection, and the fact we both care about pleasing each other.

Have you tried toys?
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RLinds
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From personal experience, I didn't enjoy sex until I met my partner (my third lover). Maybe you are not ready for sex yet, or you haven't met someone you are sexually compatible with?
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erratic_deus
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Sex is primitive.
Why do you want to?
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xdopaminex
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(Original post by wilde9700)
Sometimes i can be because Im still new to it all, cl** stimulation feels really good its just the sex doesnt. Everybody raves about it being great but i dont see it. How do i change that if its mental? Foreplay has always been a must have for me so i havnt missed it out.
Sex is not pleasurable when you are a female. Unless you stimulate your cl**. Full stop. That's a fact.
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cat_mac
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Some people can’t get enjoyment from penetrat*on, it’s to do with the distance between the cl*t and the entrance point from what I can tell. If you use a vibe or keep stimulated during then you can use that while your partner takes from the traditional. There are also some positions you can try to stimulate more.

This is more common than you’d think and nothing to be ashamed of, getting a bullet vibe would be my best recommendation.
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xdopaminex
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(Original post by cat_mac)
Some people can’t get enjoyment from penetrat*on, it’s to do with the distance between the cl*t and the entrance point from what I can tell. If you use a vibe or keep stimulated during then you can use that while your partner takes from the traditional. There are also some positions you can try to stimulate more.

This is more common than you’d think and nothing to be ashamed of, getting a bullet vibe would be my best recommendation.
I told you females can't have pleasure when they are having sex. Proves my point.
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cat_mac
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(Original post by xdopaminex)
I told you females can't have pleasure when they are having sex. Proves my point.
You didn’t tell me anything.. that was my first comment? Yes women can have pleasure during sex, but we are all so different. Some love traditional, i know a girl that can orga*m from just clenching and unclenching muscles. If your experience is that women haven’t enjoyed sex with you, maybe look to yourself for the blame game instead lmao
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xdopaminex
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(Original post by cat_mac)
You didn’t tell me anything.. that was my first comment? Yes women can have pleasure during sex, but we are all so different. Some love traditional, i know a girl that can orga*m from just clenching and unclenching muscles. If your experience is that women haven’t enjoyed sex with you, maybe look to yourself for the blame game instead lmao
I'm only on here for the lulz. Why should I care?
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wilde9700
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So basically in time i should be fine its just finding whats best and experimenting? I know this is real strait but does the size of the penis matter for pleasure? Cut it with the beef you two
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Lilith2400
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Many women get no pleasure from penetration. I would suggest expanding your definition of sex - if that makes sense. Don't focus just on the penetration like it's the only thing that sex encompasses, there are so many other things that you and your sexual partner can do together which are really enjoyable.



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AtomicPlaty
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you could try lube
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sinfonietta
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Does it hurt or take some time to get comfortable? Because that greatly impact enjoyment ofc. If that's the case it's easily rectified by more time focused on foreplay. And lube.

Self-exploration (hands/toys and inc numerous erogenous zones not just the obvious) when you're alone is also very helpful in working out what you find pleasurable and how to replicate that sensation when with another person. Once you find something that works for you then you can communicate that with a partner. Same applies with kinks and such - if there is something that you want to try don't be shy to suggest it. Hopefully he'd be enthusiastic about it too!
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