Postponing course for a year to move out from parents house

Postponing course for a year to move out from parents

I am 25 doing a master's in maths I have 15 months out via mental health. I am living with my parents at the moment but spend most of my time at my boyfriend's who is 41. I'm not happy with life at the moment and don't feel like myself. I don't want to move in with my boyfriend because I know I'm young and I don't want to be tied down and I'm not ready for that level of commitment- im also thinking of breaking up with him. I want to experience living by myself for a bit. I was due to sit my exams in June but postponed to August because my mental health hasn't really improved, also I feel insecure and would have felt uncomfortable leaving my boyfriend alone for a month. This isn't a good enough reason to postpone my career, and believe me I know this, but I also know my sensitivity and frame of mind at the moment, and I probably would have broke down within the month.

Im also on the edge with money. As it stood in June, I had just about enough to get me through the exams. I am now in the situation I was last year, which I knew I would be ofc when I postponed in June, to study and work at the same time, which is a bit frustrating, just about having enough money to get out of the house go to the library and study, under pressure to raise enough before August whilst studying. ( Also around 500 down due to needing an abortion ) my studies also mean alot to me, work procedures make no sense to me often etc, to me it's a bit if truth, so I'd like to be fully there.

My parents are the invasive, over protective type, they don't seem to realise I'm 25 but 14. I have a strong personality coupled with intelligence and high sensitivity I'm never going to be happy there, that's why I've spent alot of time at my boyfriend's , but since I'm having my doubts about this relationship I feel the only way forward for me is solo.

Why now ? Since I've postponed in June I can't see thinks rapidly improving by August. I feel like if I get a full time job now, I can afford to moMove out, live by myself , and feel in control of my life, this is the only possibility of me maybe being happy that I can see right now. Unfortunately it would mean another year out of studies and my biggest concern here would be how this may affect PhD applications, having said that, I feel like I may have no choice, it feels like the right thing to do right now.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 1

999tigger

Original post by xfootiecrazeesarax

There isnt a definitive answer.

You have two choices.

1. Head down and get through your exams.

From what you are saying you are unhappy personally BF, parents, money and abortion. You have asked for August, but you arent recovering at a fast enough rate. It is quite common for students not to ask for long enough and throw themselves under the wheels of the exam bus thinking they need to sacrifice themselves.

If you feel you are going to underpeform in August, then it is that v posponing properly. It is your call.

2. Move out and get yourself sorted out. It puts you in control of your rlationship and gets you some independence. You are saying you cnat take it much longer with parents and it is having a bad effect.

It might be grass is greener? You need a job and the momeny but you will have space to face your own demons and heal up.

3. I cant say 1 or 2, but I do see people sacrifice themselves because they didnt ask for long enough. You should also ask your target unis as to whether it will ginder your phd application. Point out its mostly medical and you hadnt healed up from the abortion properly to do an early retake. A doctors letter might save you.

You could also look into a short term sub let from a student who will have gone for the holidays and is keen to offload the last part of the tenancy. you might get a baragin price. that would be if you wnated to pish for August or needed som thinking space.

Anyway they were just soemthoughts on how I might go about it.

If August isnt long enough then say so and do it asap. use a Drs note.
Enquire to the target unis if it would hunder you. Mention medical and abortion. That doesnt have to get them worried about MH.
Clearly your bf isnt part of your future.
You cna survive parents for a bit longer, just use it as a place to sleep and be free in your mind, knowing you will move out eventually.