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I don't think I can go back to living at my parent's after I graduate, what do I do?

Essentially, I am about to graduate in a few months time. Where I go after graduation has the potential to significantly impact 2 other people and I'm stuck in a bit of a sticky situation.

As it stands, I am currently unemployed. Luckily, I've been very savvy with my loan and have managed to save up about £1500 from it, but as I've been able to live quite comfortably off it I haven't felt the need to get a job alongside my studies. I have been actively applying for retail chain jobs for the last few months as I'm aware that renting a non-student accommodation may require proof of earning, but am currently having no luck. I'm trying to avoid smaller, independent companies and go for larger chains as a) I feel guilty that I'd have to leave after 3 months and b) the ability to transfer stores to a new location would be very useful. It's getting closer and closer to my move-out date and the lack of prospects in this area are making me quite worried. I don't feel like I can start properly house-hunting until I've secured a form of consistent income.

Next point. As soon as I moved out my parents started renting my bedroom out to my cousin. If I should move home, this would make him homeless. I like him so I'd rather not do that. I've also been living with my partner for the last 2 years, during which time his parents downsized and no longer have a bedroom available for him. Once again, if I moved home I run the risk of making him homeless too.

Not really sure what to do. If I knew that the people I'd be impacting would be okay, and that I wouldn't feel an immense amount of guilt around leaving a job so soon, I would not even be thinking about this and would just automatically move home. I guess I'm just looking for some insight about what others might've done in a similar situation.

1.

Have you spoken to your parents/cousin about it? They may have made an arrangement eg cousin only stays a set length of time, or perhaps they have plans you don't know about yet?

2.

Is your partner contributing to rent atm? Is that something you could do together when you graduate? You say that moving back in with your parents would make your partner homeless ... what is their contribution to your current accomodation situation, and why couldn't that continue?

3.

What is your degree? Could you use that to gain employment when you graduate rather than looking for retail jobs?

Reply 2
Original post by SilverPebble

1.

Have you spoken to your parents/cousin about it? They may have made an arrangement eg cousin only stays a set length of time, or perhaps they have plans you don't know about yet?

2.

Is your partner contributing to rent atm? Is that something you could do together when you graduate? You say that moving back in with your parents would make your partner homeless ... what is their contribution to your current accomodation situation, and why couldn't that continue?

3.

What is your degree? Could you use that to gain employment when you graduate rather than looking for retail jobs?


Hey! Thanks for the response

1.

My parents have said repeatedly not to worry about it as they've made it known from the beginning that him staying is a temporary situation whilst I'm at university. It's just that I spoke with him over Christmas and it seems a bit like what he does hinges on what I do - so he might not be looking for housing if he knows that I intend to move immediately into a house. The problem is that I don't know what I'm doing, therefore he won't know what he's doing, and I worry that this will result in me coming home and him not having any accomodation prepared.

2.

Yes! As we currently live in student accommodation we each have seperate contracts for the 2 bedrooms in our house and pay our halves seperately. We can't continue to live where we do as A) It's already been let for next year and B) we really really don't want to live here anymore lol. For context, I'm originally from Manchester, he Stoke-on-Trent, and we're currently living in Leeds. He only moved here as I had no options for second year and we just really don't click with it. Paying the rent isn't an issue as we have the means, but it's getting onto a non-student tenancy that worries me. I'm aware that they may conduct employment checks/proof of earning, and at the minute that isn't something that I have. As we're planning on moving across cities, I feel like I sort of need to be looking at housing now and showing interest so that we can move out seamlessly from one house to another, but I don't feel like I can start doing that without being employed, in the likely case they ask for proof of earnings.

3.

My degree is Visual Communication and I specialize in illustration/graphic design. Unfortunately the market for this isn't too hot at the minute, and any job postings I find are usually full time that I can't commit to as I still have uni twice a week. I've tried applying for a few and explaining my situation, but it hasn't really been successful. I get call backs from smaller, independent jobs but I feel horribly guilty that I'd have to leave them after 3 months and make them search again which is why I'm trying to focus on retail, as well as having the ability to transfer so that I have income once I'm home and don't hae to start from scratch. I used to work in a pharmacy so I typically do well applying with medical receptionist type jobs, but the responsibility at the pharmacy made me lose sleep so often I don't really want to repeat that lol. Just not having much luck in the employment boat.

(edited 2 months ago)
Original post by ddmilkymilk
Hey! Thanks for the response

1.

My parents have said repeatedly not to worry about it as they've made it known from the beginning that him staying is a temporary situation whilst I'm at university. It's just that I spoke with him over Christmas and it seems a bit like what he does hinges on what I do - so he might not be looking for housing if he knows that I intend to move immediately into a house. The problem is that I don't know what I'm doing, therefore he won't know what he's doing, and I worry that this will result in me coming home and him not having any accomodation prepared.

2.

Yes! As we currently live in student accommodation we each have seperate contracts for the 2 bedrooms in our house and pay our halves seperately. We can't continue to live where we do as A) It's already been let for next year and B) we really really don't want to live here anymore lol. For context, I'm originally from Manchester, he Stoke-on-Trent, and we're currently living in Leeds. He only moved here as I had no options for second year and we just really don't click with it. Paying the rent isn't an issue as we have the means, but it's getting onto a non-student tenancy that worries me. I'm aware that they may conduct employment checks/proof of earning, and at the minute that isn't something that I have. As we're planning on moving across cities, I feel like I sort of need to be looking at housing now and showing interest so that we can move out seamlessly from one house to another, but I don't feel like I can start doing that without being employed, in the likely case they ask for proof of earnings.

3.

My degree is Visual Communication and I specialize in illustration/graphic design. Unfortunately the market for this isn't too hot at the minute, and any job postings I find are usually full time that I can't commit to as I still have uni twice a week. I've tried applying for a few and explaining my situation, but it hasn't really been successful. I get call backs from smaller, independent jobs but I feel horribly guilty that I'd have to leave them after 3 months and make them search again which is why I'm trying to focus on retail, as well as having the ability to transfer so that I have income once I'm home and don't hae to start from scratch. I used to work in a pharmacy so I typically do well applying with medical receptionist type jobs, but the responsibility at the pharmacy made me lose sleep so often I don't really want to repeat that lol. Just not having much luck in the employment boat.


I think tbh, if I was in your situation, I'd be giving your parents and cousin a heads-up that you'd like to move back there for the summer after graduation so that you have a base while looking for a job and accommodation with your partner in the city you want to move to. It doesn't solve the problem of where your partner lives for the summer, but perhaps they could think about that for themselves? If you have a set timescale, ie you move back home for 2 or 3 months max, it means your cousin could do something else for that time, and it also means you could concentrate right now on finishing your degree.
Reply 4
Original post by SilverPebble
I think tbh, if I was in your situation, I'd be giving your parents and cousin a heads-up that you'd like to move back there for the summer after graduation so that you have a base while looking for a job and accommodation with your partner in the city you want to move to. It doesn't solve the problem of where your partner lives for the summer, but perhaps they could think about that for themselves? If you have a set timescale, ie you move back home for 2 or 3 months max, it means your cousin could do something else for that time, and it also means you could concentrate right now on finishing your degree.

Honestly I think this is probably the most realistic outcome, but I still just can't help feeling guilty that I haven't been able to do my part to prevent that issue for him, especially since he moved here just so that I didn't have to live with strangers or on my todd. I've had someone else suggest that my partner moves in with me at my parents which I'd feel slightly better about but also simultaneously worse since I have the box room and a single bed so he'd be stuck to the couch for however long. Eeeee just wish real estate agents were super transparent about what they looked for in a tenant so I could find ones that could just take my word and my history of paying rent on time lol
Original post by ddmilkymilk
Honestly I think this is probably the most realistic outcome, but I still just can't help feeling guilty that I haven't been able to do my part to prevent that issue for him, especially since he moved here just so that I didn't have to live with strangers or on my todd. I've had someone else suggest that my partner moves in with me at my parents which I'd feel slightly better about but also simultaneously worse since I have the box room and a single bed so he'd be stuck to the couch for however long. Eeeee just wish real estate agents were super transparent about what they looked for in a tenant so I could find ones that could just take my word and my history of paying rent on time lol

If you can afford it, another option would be for you and your partner to rent a mobile/park home for the summer months, and use that as a base for finding a job and accomodation in the city you want to move to instead.

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