I love my boyfriend but I struggle to have sex with him?
I've known my current boyfriend for over a year and been in a relationship with him for three months.
I love him. He's funny, clever, unique and good looking. I have no problem with actual sexual/physical attraction to him.
We tried to get together a year ago, but we worked together and our workplace found out so we had to stop things. In that year, my very manipulative friend (no longer friends) told him I had no feelings for him and slept with several times. He told me about this a few days into our relationship which made things quite hostile but he was very honest and open to a detailed conversation about it. Ever since, we've been fine and have a happy relationship.
Although when it comes to sex, I feel very awkward and uncomfortable. Neither of us have super high sex drives so sometimes I avoid sleeping with him. I find it incredibly difficult to relax. It's almost as if my mind is telling me that he's sexually attractive and I want to sleep with him, but my body won't let it happen and telling me that my brain is lying. Essentially, it's like when you're very cold in the winter: your brain may try and convince your body that it's warmer than it is, but your body is still shivering.
Anyone experienced something similar? It's got to the point where I need to talk to him about it openly. But is this a barrier to an otherwise happy relationship? Will the lack of intimacy be the end of our relationship?
I love him. He's funny, clever, unique and good looking. I have no problem with actual sexual/physical attraction to him.
We tried to get together a year ago, but we worked together and our workplace found out so we had to stop things. In that year, my very manipulative friend (no longer friends) told him I had no feelings for him and slept with several times. He told me about this a few days into our relationship which made things quite hostile but he was very honest and open to a detailed conversation about it. Ever since, we've been fine and have a happy relationship.
Although when it comes to sex, I feel very awkward and uncomfortable. Neither of us have super high sex drives so sometimes I avoid sleeping with him. I find it incredibly difficult to relax. It's almost as if my mind is telling me that he's sexually attractive and I want to sleep with him, but my body won't let it happen and telling me that my brain is lying. Essentially, it's like when you're very cold in the winter: your brain may try and convince your body that it's warmer than it is, but your body is still shivering.
Anyone experienced something similar? It's got to the point where I need to talk to him about it openly. But is this a barrier to an otherwise happy relationship? Will the lack of intimacy be the end of our relationship?
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Purely platonic relationships are extremely rare, so the safe guess is yes - it will be the end in the long run. He will not become more attractive to you over time, the opposite will happen.
The question to ask here is whether this has happened to you in previous relationships. If the answer is yes, or if this is your first real relationship, consider visiting a specialist. There are several reasons for low libido in females, some of them are purely medical and can be fixed by a doctor (thyroid problems, hormonal imbalances from contraception etc) while others require a sexologist to analyze.
In any case, your reactions after just 3 months of being together are outside of the norm.
The question to ask here is whether this has happened to you in previous relationships. If the answer is yes, or if this is your first real relationship, consider visiting a specialist. There are several reasons for low libido in females, some of them are purely medical and can be fixed by a doctor (thyroid problems, hormonal imbalances from contraception etc) while others require a sexologist to analyze.
In any case, your reactions after just 3 months of being together are outside of the norm.
Original post by Anonymous
I've known my current boyfriend for over a year and been in a relationship with him for three months.
I love him. He's funny, clever, unique and good looking. I have no problem with actual sexual/physical attraction to him.
We tried to get together a year ago, but we worked together and our workplace found out so we had to stop things. In that year, my very manipulative friend (no longer friends) told him I had no feelings for him and slept with several times. He told me about this a few days into our relationship which made things quite hostile but he was very honest and open to a detailed conversation about it. Ever since, we've been fine and have a happy relationship.
Although when it comes to sex, I feel very awkward and uncomfortable. Neither of us have super high sex drives so sometimes I avoid sleeping with him. I find it incredibly difficult to relax. It's almost as if my mind is telling me that he's sexually attractive and I want to sleep with him, but my body won't let it happen and telling me that my brain is lying. Essentially, it's like when you're very cold in the winter: your brain may try and convince your body that it's warmer than it is, but your body is still shivering.
Anyone experienced something similar? It's got to the point where I need to talk to him about it openly. But is this a barrier to an otherwise happy relationship? Will the lack of intimacy be the end of our relationship?
I love him. He's funny, clever, unique and good looking. I have no problem with actual sexual/physical attraction to him.
We tried to get together a year ago, but we worked together and our workplace found out so we had to stop things. In that year, my very manipulative friend (no longer friends) told him I had no feelings for him and slept with several times. He told me about this a few days into our relationship which made things quite hostile but he was very honest and open to a detailed conversation about it. Ever since, we've been fine and have a happy relationship.
Although when it comes to sex, I feel very awkward and uncomfortable. Neither of us have super high sex drives so sometimes I avoid sleeping with him. I find it incredibly difficult to relax. It's almost as if my mind is telling me that he's sexually attractive and I want to sleep with him, but my body won't let it happen and telling me that my brain is lying. Essentially, it's like when you're very cold in the winter: your brain may try and convince your body that it's warmer than it is, but your body is still shivering.
Anyone experienced something similar? It's got to the point where I need to talk to him about it openly. But is this a barrier to an otherwise happy relationship? Will the lack of intimacy be the end of our relationship?
Have you had sex with other people before? It sounds like you two just need to have a chat about it and hopefully talking about it will help you to realise your worries about having sex with him. It doesn't have to be the end of your relationship as long as you're willing to be open and talk about it so you can work on it together
Are you definitely straight?
Lots of successful loving relationships don't focus too much on sex if nether partner is that bothered. This said intimacy, communication and time together is critical, IMO. So talk about it! Get nude together for an uncountable bath or have a nice massage, do this every week - if it naturally escalates and you feel comfortable that's fine.
Kiss, hug, watch the telly, go out for dinner etc.
Worrying and not talking about potential issues is a risky thing to do.
Kiss, hug, watch the telly, go out for dinner etc.
Worrying and not talking about potential issues is a risky thing to do.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Khalid_
I can prove he exists.
Please, do in the Religion forum, I can't wait
Attachment not found
Original post by Khalid_
Please, sex is only when you get married. If God made you and God says NOT to have sex outside marriage, then God knows what is good for you.
No sex before marriage.
No sex before marriage.
LOL
Original post by Khalid_
Please, sex is only when you get married.
No sex before marriage.
No sex before marriage.
Original post by Khalid_
I am not trying to push my views/lifestyle..
I am not trying to push my views/lifestyle..
You're a smart one aren't you?
Original post by UWS
You're a smart one aren't you?
I am sorry I am not understanding what you are saying.
May I just remind you that we are having a discussion and not trying to "own each other"
Original post by Khalid_
I am sorry I am not understanding what you are saying.
May I just remind you that we are having a discussion and not trying to "own each other"
May I just remind you that we are having a discussion and not trying to "own each other"
I was pointing out your hypocrisy by telling OP not to have sex until marriage because "God" said so, but you deny thay you are pushing your views onto them. That is all.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by PTMalewski
Please, do in the Religion forum, I can't wait
Attachment not found
The scientific facts mentioned in scared texts are correct. Which raises the question that who would have known all of these scientific facts 1400 years ago other than The Creator Almighty himself?
Original post by Khalid_
The scientific facts mentioned in scared texts are correct. Which raises the question that who would have known all of these scientific facts 1400 years ago other than The Creator Almighty himself?
I've read a few articles on these 'facts' already and all so far proven nothing that their authors were either terrible ignorants or liars.
If you know any, then please go to the Religion subforum and write it there. Either you're right and we will be able to learn something thanks to you, either you have been misled and you will learn something new.
Original post by Anonymous
I've known my current boyfriend for over a year and been in a relationship with him for three months.
I love him. He's funny, clever, unique and good looking. I have no problem with actual sexual/physical attraction to him.
We tried to get together a year ago, but we worked together and our workplace found out so we had to stop things. In that year, my very manipulative friend (no longer friends) told him I had no feelings for him and slept with several times. He told me about this a few days into our relationship which made things quite hostile but he was very honest and open to a detailed conversation about it. Ever since, we've been fine and have a happy relationship.
Although when it comes to sex, I feel very awkward and uncomfortable. Neither of us have super high sex drives so sometimes I avoid sleeping with him. I find it incredibly difficult to relax. It's almost as if my mind is telling me that he's sexually attractive and I want to sleep with him, but my body won't let it happen and telling me that my brain is lying. Essentially, it's like when you're very cold in the winter: your brain may try and convince your body that it's warmer than it is, but your body is still shivering.
Anyone experienced something similar? It's got to the point where I need to talk to him about it openly. But is this a barrier to an otherwise happy relationship? Will the lack of intimacy be the end of our relationship?
I love him. He's funny, clever, unique and good looking. I have no problem with actual sexual/physical attraction to him.
We tried to get together a year ago, but we worked together and our workplace found out so we had to stop things. In that year, my very manipulative friend (no longer friends) told him I had no feelings for him and slept with several times. He told me about this a few days into our relationship which made things quite hostile but he was very honest and open to a detailed conversation about it. Ever since, we've been fine and have a happy relationship.
Although when it comes to sex, I feel very awkward and uncomfortable. Neither of us have super high sex drives so sometimes I avoid sleeping with him. I find it incredibly difficult to relax. It's almost as if my mind is telling me that he's sexually attractive and I want to sleep with him, but my body won't let it happen and telling me that my brain is lying. Essentially, it's like when you're very cold in the winter: your brain may try and convince your body that it's warmer than it is, but your body is still shivering.
Anyone experienced something similar? It's got to the point where I need to talk to him about it openly. But is this a barrier to an otherwise happy relationship? Will the lack of intimacy be the end of our relationship?
"In that year, my very manipulative friend (no longer friends) told him I had no feelings for him and slept with several times." Damn that is kinda hot, the girl lied to get sex i want to meet her, she's a feisty one.
Original post by Anonymous
I love him. He's funny, clever, unique and good looking. I have no problem with actual sexual/physical attraction to him.
I love him. He's funny, clever, unique and good looking. I have no problem with actual sexual/physical attraction to him.
Original post by Anonymous
Are you definitely straight?
Reading is not strong with this one.
Original post by experienced69
it will be the end in the long run .
The long run is a misleading guide to current affairs; for in the long run, we're all dead.
(sorry i've been looking for an opportunity to use this for ages)
Original post by Bulletzone
Reading is not strong with this one.
The reading's fine. There's a world of difference between recognising physical and sexual attractiveness, and wanting to physically act on it.
do me instead bby girl
i has bigger peeenes xxx
i has bigger peeenes xxx
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