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I feel like i belong in a different body

username4201352

Ok so I’m a black girl. But here’s the thing, all my life I’ve been told I’m the ‘whitest’ black girl ever. And I do know why people say this. Obviously it’s because of my accent/ general tone of voice, interests, overall taste in music& overall personality and the fact that it doesn’t perpetuate any of the stereotypes associated with black girls. For example loud, rude, uncivilised, somewhat ghetto, troublecausing, only liking rap music,no obedience for the law and so far and so forth since I’m generally friendly&polite, law abiding& because I favour other genres of music such as house/bassline/pop/indie and artists like Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande& Katy Perry as opposed to the stereotypes regarding music&such enforced upon black people. And the fact that I’d rather attend a music festival like Parklife rather than a Carribbean/African carnival. Anyway, this always makes me feel a bit lost, and it’s almost like other black girls can sense this on me. I don’t really have any other black girl friends, they tend to stay away from me because I’m ‘not black enough’ and because I don’t embrace my ethnic roots. It’s not that I’m ashamed of them it’s just that that me& my parents were all born in the UK, and both my parents were adopted by white families so have been raised in a British fashion developing British norms& values& as I was born& raised in the UK, and infact have never travelled outside the UK, I have the same norms and values as my parents too. Anyway, I refuse to change myself to please other people because I infact realise there is nothing wrong with me if i am being myself and its other peoples problem but i still feel lost sometimes you know?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Do you think the stereotypes you mention is just media - generated outdated rubbish claptrap though? Who perpetuates these ideas? Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey aren't. And then of course there's the beautiful mixed heritage girls who, knows, might be struggling/have past struggles like Jessica-Ennis Hill. You are who you are and beautiful - how old are you? I ask because 'identity' crisis is often around from puberty to sometimes into late 20s and beyond!

I'm curious to know too that your understandable feelings are associated with 'another body' At the times you feel less than happy, you might just want to close your eyes and ask yourself 'where is it in my body I feel this?' Just notice what feelings, answers, and explanations may come....