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My family is so backwards and I can’t stand it anymore!!

My family are from Kashmiri Pakistani background and they are so backwards that it’s hurts.

I am at uni right now and have been surrounded by western culture my whole life.

Despite living in England for 20 odd years they still have held on to they village tribal views and backwards mindset. Some of they thoughts are so outdated.

They can be homophobic and racist(particularly towards black people). They are extremely strict and would prefer all of my siblings to marry our cousins (including cousins from back home).

When I try to discuss anything or explain to them why something they said is wrong it turns in to an argument. They’re like we should not have sent her to uni, her mind has been poisoned she’s becoming just like a white English girl etc.

They brought they third world mentality in to a first world country. I don’t understand why they even moved here in the first place.

They’re really stressing me out and I can’t stand it anymore.

Anyone else with similar parents?

i think its just you

lol are you suggesting that western culture is superior?

Reply 3

username3669264

yes i get what you mean, my parents can be somewhat like this too, just not this extreme but if they really are that bad then you could just not talk to them / move out because your probably over 18. some people just are that backward and there might not be a lot of point in talking to them

Reply 4

username3941996

Original post by Anonymous

lol are you suggesting that western culture is superior?

Western Cultures aren’t better but OP parents seem stuck in their negative aspects of their culture.
It’s possible to mix western culture with your heritage without bringing the bad parts e’g’ Cousins marriage etc

Reply 5

Moments

Honestly if you want to live that western life, move out after you graduate and become your own adult. You show them how (if?) you deem this first world culture to be better by being succesful and independent within in. They often come round to respect your views and if not well .... you've become your own adult, so eventually you can start a family of your own and raise your kids the way you want to.

I do have to point out though, if they didnt move here then the chances are you wouldn't be here posting about it. By all means disagree with their views, but never disrespect their choice to seek a better life for you and your siblings.

The solution is to be firm in your stance and be independent. The ball is in their court then as to whether they accept you as a product of mixed cultures or not.