leaving / running from home
hey guys, ill try keep this short, My parents are rlly rlly strict like I can't go out with friends on weekends, they have access to my bank, they have cameras all over the house to see what I do, they go thru my phone and I just don't wanna be here anymore. They won't let me move out for uni but I just rlly wanna get up and go, I have money saved up and an apartment I can go to. im just scared, does anyone have any advice
I'm not an expert at these type of situations but if you are 18+ you are allowed to move out, to be honest I'd be creeped out if my parents did all of that. Anyways, if you feel that moving out would be a better option for you then I say go for it, you'd be free from all of that.
Original post by jayjay1222
hey guys, ill try keep this short, My parents are rlly rlly strict like I can't go out with friends on weekends, they have access to my bank, they have cameras all over the house to see what I do, they go thru my phone and I just don't wanna be here anymore. They won't let me move out for uni but I just rlly wanna get up and go, I have money saved up and an apartment I can go to. im just scared, does anyone have any advice
My response will sting you, but do not take it personally.
If I were you, do not dare badmouthing about your parents. I know this is not your intention, but if you have something against them, tell them. They should fully acknowledge your feelings. At least that is what I would do. Pursue diplomacy, not the other way around.
Original post by Anonymous
My response will sting you, but do not take it personally.
If I were you, do not dare badmouthing about your parents. I know this is not your intention, but if you have something against them, tell them. They should fully acknowledge your feelings. At least that is what I would do. Pursue diplomacy, not the other way around.
If I were you, do not dare badmouthing about your parents. I know this is not your intention, but if you have something against them, tell them. They should fully acknowledge your feelings. At least that is what I would do. Pursue diplomacy, not the other way around.
right, im not bad mouthing them, im just saying they are really strict. 1- I have told them several times about how I feel and in an Indian backwards mentality household, where men are seen as superior and women are seen as the floor, yeah it didn't really work, however, I was told I should get married as my parents believe I won't be able to get into uni and that I'll fail. Ive told them and my feelings are brushed off so yes I have resorted into the last option which is running away as I can no longer live like this anymore.
Original post by jayjay1222
right, im not bad mouthing them, im just saying they are really strict. 1- I have told them several times about how I feel and in an Indian backwards mentality household, where men are seen as superior and women are seen as the floor, yeah it didn't really work, however, I was told I should get married as my parents believe I won't be able to get into uni and that I'll fail. Ive told them and my feelings are brushed off so yes I have resorted into the last option which is running away as I can no longer live like this anymore.
Isle to kera hoon Baaji.
I am also Indian. I know what you are talking about.
You must have a brother or cousin or Mausi that has gone abroad? Explain them this.
I DONT that's the issue, I have no one , no one listens plus im a girl so yeah
Original post by Anonymous
Isle to kera hoon Baaji.
I am also Indian. I know what you are talking about.
You must have a brother or cousin or Mausi that has gone abroad? Explain them this.
I am also Indian. I know what you are talking about.
You must have a brother or cousin or Mausi that has gone abroad? Explain them this.
Original post by jayjay1222
I DONT that's the issue, I have no one , no one listens plus im a girl so yeah
Sorry for calling you Baaji
Oh. Then that is indeed a problem.
Someone in your neighbourhood? Do you live in rural or in city?
my parents literally do not speak to anyone, I live in the city NOTHING will change their mind, my brother is worse. they have cameras all over the house including outside my room to see what I do and who I talk to. idk why they're so paranoid but IM TIRED I can't be bothered
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry for calling you Baaji
Oh. Then that is indeed a problem.
Someone in your neighbourhood? Do you live in rural or in city?
Oh. Then that is indeed a problem.
Someone in your neighbourhood? Do you live in rural or in city?
Original post by jayjay1222
my parents literally do not speak to anyone, I live in the city NOTHING will change their mind, my brother is worse. they have cameras all over the house including outside my room to see what I do and who I talk to. idk why they're so paranoid but IM TIRED I can't be bothered
If you do not mind me asking, which city?
Birmingham
Original post by Anonymous
If you do not mind me asking, which city?
Original post by jayjay1222
Birmingham
Oh, I thought you lived in India.
This is pretty damn strange. Go to Southall for a family trip see if that changes minds
no.i live in England, no family here
Original post by Anonymous
Oh, I thought you lived in India.
This is pretty damn strange. Go to Southall for a family trip see if that changes minds
This is pretty damn strange. Go to Southall for a family trip see if that changes minds
Strict and controlling parents are two different things, from the sounds of it yours are controlling. They have no rights to prevent you moving out once you become an adult.
If talking to them does not work, and you have financial support from a job/load/family or friend then I think moving out may be right.
Maybe opt for student accommodation first, they may change their behaviour if they realise you are mature and are no longer a child.
If talking to them does not work, and you have financial support from a job/load/family or friend then I think moving out may be right.
Maybe opt for student accommodation first, they may change their behaviour if they realise you are mature and are no longer a child.
Original post by jayjay1222
hey guys, ill try keep this short, My parents are rlly rlly strict like I can't go out with friends on weekends, they have access to my bank, they have cameras all over the house to see what I do, they go thru my phone and I just don't wanna be here anymore. They won't let me move out for uni but I just rlly wanna get up and go, I have money saved up and an apartment I can go to. im just scared, does anyone have any advice
I’d say escape. You’re legally an adult and you can’t be expected to put up with this for the rest of your life. I think it would be best to remain at home for the time being, study well for your A Levels, and at some point after your exams are over and before uni starts, disappear either in the night or while they’re away from home.
From your new apartment (or maybe dorms if you can manage it), contact them to let them know that you are safe, but that you will not be returning home. Keep your location off along the journey and from then on, then get a new phone and make new accounts for platforms they can access so that they can’t track where you are. If they try to contact the police, nothing will come of it because you are safe, accounted for and over 18.
You cannot reason with unreasonable parents. Make sure you revise well to secure your offer for uni and get out of that household as soon as possible. Count down the days until September if it’ll keep you going. If you don’t take this opportunity, it’s likely the only way out will be marriage.
Good luck and all the best.
Original post by jayjay1222
hey guys, ill try keep this short, My parents are rlly rlly strict like I can't go out with friends on weekends, they have access to my bank, they have cameras all over the house to see what I do, they go thru my phone and I just don't wanna be here anymore. They won't let me move out for uni but I just rlly wanna get up and go, I have money saved up and an apartment I can go to. im just scared, does anyone have any advice
1/First of all you need to get access to your bank account go to the a branch in the day time providing you can get to town easily after an exam or something and tell them you don’t want your parents to access the account anymore or even switch accounts. Put a passcode or fingerprint reader on your phone so they can’t get in to it. next you need to escape so:
2/ Get your post sent Care of a friend I think UCAS allow you to put a home address and postal address so see if a friend can accept your post and get it to you some how as your parents don’t allow you out with friends you need to find a way to see the friend meeting at the library would be a good move they should support that or if you applying for 2024 entry get your post from them at collage or school and fill in as many forms as you can out of the house or at night when your parents won’t know.
3/ You’ll need a big hold all buy it in the summer when hope fully your parents aren’t at home and hide it at the apartment.
4/ You’ll also want a cheap usually free pay as you go sim card and sim tool more of this later get it at the earliest possible moment.
5/ You will want to quietly move clothes in to the hold all until you escape.
6/ On the night before your escape put all your electronics in your back pack so chargers and everything.
7/ Get up as early as you can before your parents pick up your back pack retrieve your hold all (hopefully full of clothes) by now and get to the station and get the earliest train you can.
8/ While waiting for the train block your parents number on your phone because they will call probably employing emotional black mail treating to kill them selves and things and you don’t want to be dealing with that.
9/ When you get to your uni city (hopefully far away) then go to your halls and see if you can move in (if you can dump your stuff in you room) if not see if you can leave you cases with the staff until you can move in.
10/ Go shopping for things that you couldn’t pack that your parents might have noticed (shower gel, toothbrush,
toothpaste stuff like that) and food maybe something to break the ice like Haribo or beer if you want but other people will probably bring drinks so don’t worry about that too much.
11/ Once you’ve unpacked put in your Pay as you go sim call your parents (withholding your number) Tell them I’m at uni (don’t mention which one) and I’m safe. If they start crying at you or begging you to come home hang up right away then put your original sim back in. keep calling they will get the point eventually that your doing this and there isn’t too much you can do about it.
It’s worth giving SFE a call because it’s unlikely your parents will give you their details for your finance. It’ll be worth while getting a job bar work is usually good or shop work. for a couple of days a week I’d recommend the weekends as not much happens then but keep Wednesday and Monday night free t the very least. But remember your there to get a degree not to work for someone so don’t be bullied in to working when you should be in lectures.
Could you not just move to the apartment?
hi, thank you so much for this. my plan was relatively similar to this and yes I will be doing it as I agree the only way ill get to leave is through marriage. if I factory reset my phone and break my old sim- they cannot find me right?
Original post by jonathanemptage
1/First of all you need to get access to your bank account go to the a branch in the day time providing you can get to town easily after an exam or something and tell them you don’t want your parents to access the account anymore or even switch accounts. Put a passcode or fingerprint reader on your phone so they can’t get in to it. next you need to escape so:
2/ Get your post sent Care of a friend I think UCAS allow you to put a home address and postal address so see if a friend can accept your post and get it to you some how as your parents don’t allow you out with friends you need to find a way to see the friend meeting at the library would be a good move they should support that or if you applying for 2024 entry get your post from them at collage or school and fill in as many forms as you can out of the house or at night when your parents won’t know.
3/ You’ll need a big hold all buy it in the summer when hope fully your parents aren’t at home and hide it at the apartment.
4/ You’ll also want a cheap usually free pay as you go sim card and sim tool more of this later get it at the earliest possible moment.
5/ You will want to quietly move clothes in to the hold all until you escape.
6/ On the night before your escape put all your electronics in your back pack so chargers and everything.
7/ Get up as early as you can before your parents pick up your back pack retrieve your hold all (hopefully full of clothes) by now and get to the station and get the earliest train you can.
8/ While waiting for the train block your parents number on your phone because they will call probably employing emotional black mail treating to kill them selves and things and you don’t want to be dealing with that.
9/ When you get to your uni city (hopefully far away) then go to your halls and see if you can move in (if you can dump your stuff in you room) if not see if you can leave you cases with the staff until you can move in.
10/ Go shopping for things that you couldn’t pack that your parents might have noticed (shower gel, toothbrush,
toothpaste stuff like that) and food maybe something to break the ice like Haribo or beer if you want but other people will probably bring drinks so don’t worry about that too much.
11/ Once you’ve unpacked put in your Pay as you go sim call your parents (withholding your number) Tell them I’m at uni (don’t mention which one) and I’m safe. If they start crying at you or begging you to come home hang up right away then put your original sim back in. keep calling they will get the point eventually that your doing this and there isn’t too much you can do about it.
It’s worth giving SFE a call because it’s unlikely your parents will give you their details for your finance. It’ll be worth while getting a job bar work is usually good or shop work. for a couple of days a week I’d recommend the weekends as not much happens then but keep Wednesday and Monday night free t the very least. But remember your there to get a degree not to work for someone so don’t be bullied in to working when you should be in lectures.
Could you not just move to the apartment?
2/ Get your post sent Care of a friend I think UCAS allow you to put a home address and postal address so see if a friend can accept your post and get it to you some how as your parents don’t allow you out with friends you need to find a way to see the friend meeting at the library would be a good move they should support that or if you applying for 2024 entry get your post from them at collage or school and fill in as many forms as you can out of the house or at night when your parents won’t know.
3/ You’ll need a big hold all buy it in the summer when hope fully your parents aren’t at home and hide it at the apartment.
4/ You’ll also want a cheap usually free pay as you go sim card and sim tool more of this later get it at the earliest possible moment.
5/ You will want to quietly move clothes in to the hold all until you escape.
6/ On the night before your escape put all your electronics in your back pack so chargers and everything.
7/ Get up as early as you can before your parents pick up your back pack retrieve your hold all (hopefully full of clothes) by now and get to the station and get the earliest train you can.
8/ While waiting for the train block your parents number on your phone because they will call probably employing emotional black mail treating to kill them selves and things and you don’t want to be dealing with that.
9/ When you get to your uni city (hopefully far away) then go to your halls and see if you can move in (if you can dump your stuff in you room) if not see if you can leave you cases with the staff until you can move in.
10/ Go shopping for things that you couldn’t pack that your parents might have noticed (shower gel, toothbrush,
toothpaste stuff like that) and food maybe something to break the ice like Haribo or beer if you want but other people will probably bring drinks so don’t worry about that too much.
11/ Once you’ve unpacked put in your Pay as you go sim call your parents (withholding your number) Tell them I’m at uni (don’t mention which one) and I’m safe. If they start crying at you or begging you to come home hang up right away then put your original sim back in. keep calling they will get the point eventually that your doing this and there isn’t too much you can do about it.
It’s worth giving SFE a call because it’s unlikely your parents will give you their details for your finance. It’ll be worth while getting a job bar work is usually good or shop work. for a couple of days a week I’d recommend the weekends as not much happens then but keep Wednesday and Monday night free t the very least. But remember your there to get a degree not to work for someone so don’t be bullied in to working when you should be in lectures.
Could you not just move to the apartment?
(edited 11 months ago)
Original post by jayjay1222
hi, thank you so much for this. my plan was relatively similar to this and yes I will be doing it as I agree the only way ill get to leave is through marriage. if I factory reset my phone and break my old sim- they cannot find me right?
Yeah it’ll defiantly make it harder to track you.
(edited 11 months ago)
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