Being ignored: Do I go to get closure in person from my Boyfriend?

username4681998

Hey everyone,

Really appreciate some advice on this one. May seem petty but gal wracking her brains on what to do!

Me and my boyfriend of a year, we've been super busy lately with work etc so its been hard to catch each other. Normally, we talk over message (we live close to each other) atleast a couple of times a week when we cant see each other.

Its been strange lately. I saw him on Tuesday (week ago ish) and we had a lovely evening together. The plan was to meet up last weekend to spend some more time together and he made a point of saying we would see each other soon. On Friday we talked about arrangements and HE ASKED if I was around on Sunday. When messaging on Friday, he seemed a bit short and I asked if he was not keen to meet up on Sunday to give him time to express anything, but he replied by asking himself for the SECOND time if I was about Sunday.

Sunday comes ... when replying about arrangements for the afternoon, he replied in the afternoon and said he was going to have a sleep as he was tired - which ruled out meeting in the afternoon (he has been ill lately, came out of hospital in March so in recovery and getting back to work). I messaged to say if he was around later that evening it would suit me to catch up but to just let me know Sunday night either way so I knew my plans . Completely out of character, he read my message Sunday evening and never replied. 5 days later - nothing - still no communication, out of the blue. His phone is all as normal/active etc on Facebook.

I feel like this is the case of the silent treatment or I dont know if its his way of ending things. If so, I'm baffled as this is out of the blue. In person he was more than affectionate and I dont get why if he was going to end it... he would have suggested TWICE about meeting on Sunday. Gave him time to express he could not make it on Friday, but he asked me to still meet.

BASE LINE: I dont want to send anymore messages to get ignored so thinking on going around and pop by (live so close) to get clarification on whats going on as there is no reason for this blank (no arguments at all).

I have given him some space without bombarding with messages. I just feel if he cared by now he would have made a point of contact to message atleast. Having closure in person would benefit me, if and I feel its the least we both deserve after a year with no obvious reason for me to jump to without a chat. We had always agreed we would express in person if things were ever to end so its out of character.

I guess usually a person who blanks doesn't deserve you to go after in person, but for me I need to do this as after all its my boyfriend and theres nothing malicious that was said. It would help stop it going around and around in head, as out of character.

So.. wanted some advice - I am super busy with Uni and have an assignment next week. Ideally, I wanted to pop by briefly this weekend as I pass his house regularly to catch him and I think the longer I leave it to not check the things out the weirder it'll be, but dont really want it to mess up my head before exam - if its a negative outcome.

Was thinking to stop by (by the time I can freely) - 2 weeks after for chat.

How do people think I should approach this?

Genuine advice please. Much appreciated - gal needs help! I see this as being different to reacting to the standard person that never replied to your meet up message.

Thanks, Flos. X

Reply 1

mgi

Obviously i dont know you but i suppose you will have see how the idea of him dumping you in this way really makes you feel if it turns out to be true. He hasn't contacted you in 5 days but is active on social media! Personally, i would call him twice a day for the next 3 days and if he does not pick up then you could go and visit him if you wish but really- would he deserve a visit if he still isn't responding after the 3 dsys? I think not, but it's up to you.