Not sure what to think about my sexuality. Watch

username4603956
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Hi, well this will be a hard one to explain really.

Basically, I think I'm not straight, nor am I gay, or Bisexual (well okay, maybe all 3) but not really bisexual. I should say like I completely like men full stop. I have a type, but still. There has been this nagging thought for a while now. That I arent just straight, but then I realize I don't want to be in a relationship with a woman, but I wouldn't mind a sexual relationship with a woman. I now know that someone like this would call them a heteroromantic bisexual, as much as I hate labels, it's better for me to know it is a thing!


The thing is, especially now. At least being straight is sort of solid (bad pun) but at least no one questions it - Well sort of, at least the toxicity is different and I can handle. I have loads friends who fall into the LGBT+ plus category, and old school "friends" that also fall into it. I personally have never really cared about their sexual preferences. It doesn't really matter to me with a lack of a better word than normal I'll just say every day.

It sounds silly, but I think I'm heteroromantic bisexual, but I kind of doesn't want to fall in with the crowd of it all. Obviously, sexuality is a big thing right now and it terrifies me. I personally have never liked the idea of pride, I've occasionally been. I can't help feeling that its a massive stereotype of itself. Maybe it has clouded my judgment of the gay community because I've never been able to relate to it. The idea of rainbows, pink, drag. I couldn't be less suited to. I get what pride does, but the way in which it is celebrated now just scares me.


It's hard to say if, I am or not right now (I'm 22) I should know. I've never really thought about it. But that is my personality I just cannot commit to stuff unless it's thrown at me. I second guess everything.
I wouldn't say my parents are homophobic either, my dad I'm pretty sure he'll accept it. With discussion. My mum, on the other hand, whole different story. She's not against it, but I don't think she'll ever fully accept it. She is someone who prides herself on the morals she was brought up with (which are totally the wrong way round) she still thinks its wrong for me to be at university because it's disrespectful to her. I know the world is so much more progressive these days she isn't. I mean people already think I am Gay, I just don't care for girly stuff at all. I wear girls clothes but I am more of vans, shirt, jeans and a sachel person who wants to play video games, watch sitcoms/ stand-up/panel shows and listen to muse, Franz Ferdinand, Rammstein, and RATM. Rather than watch love island, listen to girly music and wears dresses and has a river island a bag. I just don't care, but I don't see how the former makes me gay.
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anosmianAcrimony
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I'm sure you can be quietly heteroromantic/bisexual without getting involved with the Pride scene or even telling your mum. If you actually want to have sex with a woman at some point it might get more difficult, I guess.

Are you sure people think you're gay? I knew some girls at uni who dressed sensibly and comfortably and watched/listened to interesting things, and I definitely didn't get the idea they were gay, and people didn't generally seem to think they were gay, and I don't think they were gay!

Honestly though - it may sound clichéd, but just keep doing what makes you happy. Be you, and wear what you want to wear, and be attracted to the people you're attracted to in the ways you're attracted to them. Don't worry about what people think of you too much - real friends will love you for who you are.
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Kill3rCat
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(Original post by beckyj1997)
It sounds silly, but I think I'm heteroromantic bisexual, but I kind of doesn't want to fall in with the crowd of it all. Obviously, sexuality is a big thing right now and it terrifies me. I personally have never liked the idea of pride, I've occasionally been. I can't help feeling that its a massive stereotype of itself. Maybe it has clouded my judgment of the gay community because I've never been able to relate to it. The idea of rainbows, pink, drag. I couldn't be less suited to. I get what pride does, but the way in which it is celebrated now just scares me.
I am bisexual, myself. I hate Pride and everything associated with it. I see it as crass, degenerate, and overly in-your-face.

You can be whatever sexuality you like, you don't have to associate with the (imo toxic) LGBTQ+ whatever alphabet-soup community.
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username4603956
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Thank you for your kind words. I guess people have kept it a secret for way longer than I have even considered it. People do think I am gay. But then again most that have are judgemental idiots. In college, it went round that I was gay because my friend was a girl, and I wouldn't star in a scene with another man (I'm a media student btw). These boys wanted me to walk around in a certain type of clothing and make the scene look like we had just had sex. I was 17. I wouldn't even do it now. A mother and her son asked my mum the other day if I was gay. Don't know who they are. It does hurt when people assume that, my mums gullable in the first place.
(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
I'm sure you can be quietly heteroromantic/bisexual without getting involved with the Pride scene or even telling your mum. If you actually want to have sex with a woman at some point it might get more difficult, I guess.

Are you sure people think you're gay? I knew some girls at uni who dressed sensibly and comfortably and watched/listened to interesting things, and I definitely didn't get the idea they were gay, and people didn't generally seem to think they were gay, and I don't think they were gay!

Honestly though - it may sound clichéd, but just keep doing what makes you happy. Be you, and wear what you want to wear, and be attracted to the people you're attracted to in the ways you're attracted to them. Don't worry about what people think of you too much - real friends will love you for who you are.
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username4603956
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(Original post by Kill3rCat)
I am bisexual, myself. I hate Pride and everything associated with it. I see it as crass, degenerate, and overly in-your-face.

You can be whatever sexuality you like, you don't have to associate with the (imo toxic) LGBTQ+ whatever alphabet-soup community.
Yeah, me too! With Progression theres regression. I am defenatley someone who believes everyone should be able to celebrate their sexuality. Even 'controversial point alert' straight people. I hate fan culture when people ship characters who are evidently heterosexual. I have both untoxic and toxic freinds, the toxic 'friends' called me homophobic because I said the flag doesnt represent the community. From an outside prospective expecially older people, the rainbow just means flamboyant. I'm more of an alternative/Indie person, the idea of rainbows I couldnt dislike more. Im still coming to terms with my sexuality but I know whatever happens. I will never assosiate myself with a rainbow.
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mgi
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(Original post by beckyj1997)
Hi, well this will be a hard one to explain really.

Basically, I think I'm not straight, nor am I gay, or Bisexual (well okay, maybe all 3) but not really bisexual. I should say like I completely like men full stop. I have a type, but still. There has been this nagging thought for a while now. That I arent just straight, but then I realize I don't want to be in a relationship with a woman, but I wouldn't mind a sexual relationship with a woman. I now know that someone like this would call them a heteroromantic bisexual, as much as I hate labels, it's better for me to know it is a thing!


The thing is, especially now. At least being straight is sort of solid (bad pun) but at least no one questions it - Well sort of, at least the toxicity is different and I can handle. I have loads friends who fall into the LGBT+ plus category, and old school "friends" that also fall into it. I personally have never really cared about their sexual preferences. It doesn't really matter to me with a lack of a better word than normal I'll just say every day.

It sounds silly, but I think I'm heteroromantic bisexual, but I kind of doesn't want to fall in with the crowd of it all. Obviously, sexuality is a big thing right now and it terrifies me. I personally have never liked the idea of pride, I've occasionally been. I can't help feeling that its a massive stereotype of itself. Maybe it has clouded my judgment of the gay community because I've never been able to relate to it. The idea of rainbows, pink, drag. I couldn't be less suited to. I get what pride does, but the way in which it is celebrated now just scares me.


It's hard to say if, I am or not right now (I'm 22) I should know. I've never really thought about it. But that is my personality I just cannot commit to stuff unless it's thrown at me. I second guess everything.
I wouldn't say my parents are homophobic either, my dad I'm pretty sure he'll accept it. With discussion. My mum, on the other hand, whole different story. She's not against it, but I don't think she'll ever fully accept it. She is someone who prides herself on the morals she was brought up with (which are totally the wrong way round) she still thinks its wrong for me to be at university because it's disrespectful to her. I know the world is so much more progressive these days she isn't. I mean people already think I am Gay, I just don't care for girly stuff at all. I wear girls clothes but I am more of vans, shirt, jeans and a sachel person who wants to play video games, watch sitcoms/ stand-up/panel shows and listen to muse, Franz Ferdinand, Rammstein, and RATM. Rather than watch love island, listen to girly music and wears dresses and has a river island a bag. I just don't care, but I don't see how the former makes me gay.
Do you need a label? If you have had sex then who you had it with may give you some starting clues if you can be bothered with labels!
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username4603956
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(Original post by mgi)
Do you need a label? If you have had sex then who you had it with may give you some starting clues if you can be bothered with labels!
I suppose labels are good and bad really. Like they help to define who someone is especially for support. The bad point is they are overused and used instead of an explanation of what it is. I don't like it myself when people use labels that aren't gay, straight,
bisexual, pans or asexual. Defining myself makes it easier for me. But I wouldn't go up to someone say it and expect them to know what it means. Thats the sort of LGBT+ toxicity which I dont like.
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mgi
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(Original post by beckyj1997)
I suppose labels are good and bad really. Like they help to define who someone is especially for support. The bad point is they are overused and used instead of an explanation of what it is. I don't like it myself when people use labels that aren't gay, straight,
bisexual, pans or asexual. Defining myself makes it easier for me. But I wouldn't go up to someone say it and expect them to know what it means. Thats the sort of LGBT+ toxicity which I dont like.
Yes. I understand. But you need to give yourself time to work these things out. There is no rush. Do you know, for example, if you are bisexual? If not there is no problem etc.
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username4603956
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(Original post by mgi)
Yes. I understand. But you need to give yourself time to work these things out. There is no rush. Do you know, for example, if you are bisexual? If not there is no problem etc.
Well, that's the tricky one really. The short answer is I don't know. I think so. But the tricky part is finally saying yes, that is who I am. I don't know where that realization will come from or this is it. Truthfully I sort of slept with a girl in my mid-teens. I liked it. But realized at that point I liked men more. Back then I didn't realize you could be bi. It was still very much gay or straight. I do get sexually aroused by girls but I just don't have that emotional attraction I do with men.
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