so bored with my life
i have never felt this bored in my entire life, I'm seriously regretting even coming to university and studying in this city. I am so lonely (not even an exaggeration) I have NO friends, I am completely bored with my life, I have nothing todo and nowhere to go. Yes, I'm applying for jobs but as you know they take so long. At this rate I don't even care if I don't get payed, I just need an opportunity to meet and interact with new people. I'm on bumble BFF in hopes that I'll meet and be friends with someone on there because I'm honestly so done... I'm crying everyday because i have nothing todo. My family are always out with their friends and people, and even though they invite me to their events it's feelings of being a tag-a-long, obviously no one has my interest at heart bc everyone is so involved with each other. Plus, the age differences and secondly, they aren't even my friends so it's just a waste.
I am honestly going to put more effort than I did before, when I return to uni this year, I don't care if people have already formed their friendship group, I don't have a soul and I'll do what it takes to ensure I have friends and people around me. I'm going to sign up for events, clubs, activities and all that to give me a proper chance.
I'm crying right now as I write this, cause if only you knew how lonely and depressed I am bc of this. And first of all, I didn't ask myself to be in this situation nor did I plan it. I made efforts when I started uni, everyone is different and will not always connect with people etc, people have different interests and all. I tried, I really did. I finished first year of uni with one acquaintance hanging by a thread, the situationship is poor and obviously there is no value or meaning to continue or acknowledge what we 'have' or 'had' so I forgot all about her. I'm so down about this, any advice would be helpful.
I am honestly going to put more effort than I did before, when I return to uni this year, I don't care if people have already formed their friendship group, I don't have a soul and I'll do what it takes to ensure I have friends and people around me. I'm going to sign up for events, clubs, activities and all that to give me a proper chance.
I'm crying right now as I write this, cause if only you knew how lonely and depressed I am bc of this. And first of all, I didn't ask myself to be in this situation nor did I plan it. I made efforts when I started uni, everyone is different and will not always connect with people etc, people have different interests and all. I tried, I really did. I finished first year of uni with one acquaintance hanging by a thread, the situationship is poor and obviously there is no value or meaning to continue or acknowledge what we 'have' or 'had' so I forgot all about her. I'm so down about this, any advice would be helpful.
that sounds so horrible im so so sorry to hear, my advice i guess would be too join societys and go to the events that people invite you to and try to talk to people, or you could make internet friends? i truly do hope it gets better x
Original post by warraichemaan8
that sounds so horrible im so so sorry to hear, my advice i guess would be too join societys and go to the events that people invite you to and try to talk to people, or you could make internet friends? i truly do hope it gets better x
Thank you 😭🙏 and that's what I'm going todo when we resume in October, but until then I still have two more months of doing absolutely nothing and it's driving me insane 😭 I really want real life friends where we would go out and do things together, and it's so unfortunate that I don't even have a soul around me. But thank you, I appreciate it and I'm praying and hoping it gets better too.
Original post by ak120135
hey, look i havent started university yet but I can imagine how you feel, just be patient, try and meet new people, it seems like u have the right idea, meeting new people in clubs or events could be a great way to make friends
trust me , things will improve
, dont lose hope
trust me , things will improve
, dont lose hopeThank you i appreciate it 😭🙏 I really hope things get better because it's so miserable honestly.. and yeah my aim is to join clubs and stuff when uni resumes. May I ask, if you know any other ways that can help me in meeting new people? Other than applying for jobs and meeting at clubs.
Im really sorry to hear that! I'm quite in the same situation as you, (I live with my boyfriend so I dont really crave friends as much since he's basically my roommate) I do other stuff though, I write, I study and I do programming. All in solitude. It's a great way of learning things if you're a loner. Anyways, you should meet new people at uni, continue your search on whatever app you're using (most people nowadays dont even try and connect irl) find someone you connect with and meet up with them. Itll take time but itll work!
Find hobbies that you usually do alone, such as fishing, maybe then you'll connect with other people and well.
Anyways, you should meet new people at uni, continue your search on whatever app you're using (most people nowadays dont even try and connect irl) find someone you connect with and meet up with them. Itll take time but itll work! Find hobbies that you usually do alone, such as fishing, maybe then you'll connect with other people and well.
hi i was in the same position as you in year 10 but i think a little worse, it was to the point where i felt su**idal !! i'd go days without speaking to anyone bc my family turned against me bc of an incident, and i ditched my friends bc i felt undervalued
i've learnt how to deal with it !! i wish i knew this before: u need to endure the pain of loneliness and boredom. it can't hurt you. it's not unhealthy
endure it...sit through it. it can be so hard but do it.
the truth is no one cares about eachother and u might find urself lonely like this again.
then, i suggest having a diary like penzu. bare with me, i know u might think it won't help but it will. write ur thoughts first thing in the morning and whenever u feel deeply emotional/bored/lonely.
the last thing i suggest is: when u are making friends, u need to not give up. even if u look like the person who kisses up to everyone....keep pushing thru them. u need to be okay with being rejected and ignored. do whatever it takes. and finally, whenever u feel really lonely, think: how can i help someone who might be feeling lonely right now? try to make other people feel less lonely. for some reason, this works.
i've learnt how to deal with it !! i wish i knew this before: u need to endure the pain of loneliness and boredom. it can't hurt you. it's not unhealthy
endure it...sit through it. it can be so hard but do it.
the truth is no one cares about eachother and u might find urself lonely like this again.
then, i suggest having a diary like penzu. bare with me, i know u might think it won't help but it will. write ur thoughts first thing in the morning and whenever u feel deeply emotional/bored/lonely.
the last thing i suggest is: when u are making friends, u need to not give up. even if u look like the person who kisses up to everyone....keep pushing thru them. u need to be okay with being rejected and ignored. do whatever it takes. and finally, whenever u feel really lonely, think: how can i help someone who might be feeling lonely right now? try to make other people feel less lonely. for some reason, this works.
Original post by ak120135
have u tried going out ? clubbing ? parties ? bonding over drinks is a great way :P
Yeah, with the girls on my course (only happened once) we went out clubbing and it was nice and I enjoyed myself, but they are not my type of people who I would hang around with or be friends with (not in a mean way, just bc we don't have similar interests or connections with each other)I don't feel like what I have with them is genuine so I don't tell them anything personal about my life, but I'm still trying to get to know them better and such so we can hopefully try and be close. And With the acquaintance she invited me to her party for New Years in January In which I attended and enjoyed myself. Our 'friendship' ended to be poor, and we got on so well with each other, similar interests, good conversations and connections. She just kept on messing me around and I just couldn't do it anymore. She messed me up many times, whenever I wanted todo or arrange an outing with her. So I haven't seen her since February at all..
oh damn, sounds like she wasnt right for u , but dont get discouraged, tho ur right , social gatherings generally aren't genuine, but its a start , exposing yourself to new people might be what u need to start over, maybe try and find more genuine people, less fake and more approachable types
Hey, I haven’t started uni yet but I just wanted to say I really hope things get better for you, your situation sounds awful especially since there is so much pressure to make friends at uni. Imo you did the right thing with the girl who messed you around, I think we’ve all had that one friend who does that and I don’t think they realise how it affects people.
There are loads of stories of people who have struggled at first but have formed solid friendship groups in their 2nd/3rd years, so don’t lose hope! xx
There are loads of stories of people who have struggled at first but have formed solid friendship groups in their 2nd/3rd years, so don’t lose hope! xx
Original post by Artistics
Im really sorry to hear that! I'm quite in the same situation as you, (I live with my boyfriend so I dont really crave friends as much since he's basically my roommate) I do other stuff though, I write, I study and I do programming. All in solitude. It's a great way of learning things if you're a loner. Anyways, you should meet new people at uni, continue your search on whatever app you're using (most people nowadays dont even try and connect irl) find someone you connect with and meet up with them. Itll take time but itll work!
Find hobbies that you usually do alone, such as fishing, maybe then you'll connect with other people and well.
Anyways, you should meet new people at uni, continue your search on whatever app you're using (most people nowadays dont even try and connect irl) find someone you connect with and meet up with them. Itll take time but itll work! Find hobbies that you usually do alone, such as fishing, maybe then you'll connect with other people and well.
Yeah I see, I do have hobbies, interests and such that I like todo and that I enjoy but finding the right people todo/share them with is a problem... I don't know where they are at? That's why I have planned to start these societies/clubs when I resume uni this year to give me the opportunity to find and meet new people. I have been using bumble BFF (the app) since June and have spoken to this one girl a lot, we are hopping to meet each other one day, and I'm looking forward for it to happen (if it will) and I'm still communicating with other people on the app as well.
It's just so upsetting that I've tried to really connect with people and it feels like no one is doing the same with me 😔
Original post by Anonymous
hi i was in the same position as you in year 10 but i think a little worse, it was to the point where i felt su**idal !! i'd go days without speaking to anyone bc my family turned against me bc of an incident, and i ditched my friends bc i felt undervalued
i've learnt how to deal with it !! i wish i knew this before: u need to endure the pain of loneliness and boredom. it can't hurt you. it's not unhealthy
endure it...sit through it. it can be so hard but do it.
the truth is no one cares about eachother and u might find urself lonely like this again.
then, i suggest having a diary like penzu. bare with me, i know u might think it won't help but it will. write ur thoughts first thing in the morning and whenever u feel deeply emotional/bored/lonely.
the last thing i suggest is: when u are making friends, u need to not give up. even if u look like the person who kisses up to everyone....keep pushing thru them. u need to be okay with being rejected and ignored. do whatever it takes. and finally, whenever u feel really lonely, think: how can i help someone who might be feeling lonely right now? try to make other people feel less lonely. for some reason, this works.
i've learnt how to deal with it !! i wish i knew this before: u need to endure the pain of loneliness and boredom. it can't hurt you. it's not unhealthy
endure it...sit through it. it can be so hard but do it.
the truth is no one cares about eachother and u might find urself lonely like this again.
then, i suggest having a diary like penzu. bare with me, i know u might think it won't help but it will. write ur thoughts first thing in the morning and whenever u feel deeply emotional/bored/lonely.
the last thing i suggest is: when u are making friends, u need to not give up. even if u look like the person who kisses up to everyone....keep pushing thru them. u need to be okay with being rejected and ignored. do whatever it takes. and finally, whenever u feel really lonely, think: how can i help someone who might be feeling lonely right now? try to make other people feel less lonely. for some reason, this works.
Oh no
I'm sorry you had to feel/experience that. Hopefully you're okay now? It's been two months since we finished first year of uni I think I have learned how to deal with boredom and loneliness now, even though it is disappointing
however, I do other things when I am at home like I often cook, I'll watch tv, put some movies on or go shopping by myself. It's not enjoyable doing it alone but it better than nothing. And you're right, people don't care about each other it's so unfortunate.. and thanks for the advice. I might try writing down my thoughts to just lift a weight off my shoulder, that's actually sounds like a good idea.
Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it 🙏 and yeah I'm just going to continue trying, and just hope it will lead to a positive outcome!
Original post by MJ1148
Hey, I haven’t started uni yet but I just wanted to say I really hope things get better for you, your situation sounds awful especially since there is so much pressure to make friends at uni. Imo you did the right thing with the girl who messed you around, I think we’ve all had that one friend who does that and I don’t think they realise how it affects people.
There are loads of stories of people who have struggled at first but have formed solid friendship groups in their 2nd/3rd years, so don’t lose hope! xx
There are loads of stories of people who have struggled at first but have formed solid friendship groups in their 2nd/3rd years, so don’t lose hope! xx
Thanks so much 🙏 I'm hoping they get better too. Living in this situation is just upsetting 😔 and yeah the pressure is on, I'm focusing hard on completing my degree in the midst of it too.. and yes!!! It affects people, like I'm sure they won't like it if it happened to them. And thank you for your advice! I'm not losing hope just yet, just praying everything works out and will be a positive outcome.
For the summer maybe you could attempt a dance class (adult class if needed) especially one thats a partner or group style like tango, ballroom, musical theater...people tend to be very sociable in these clases. Or any class for that matter that seems interesting to you, then you can get to know new people and maybe even find an interest you would like carry on doing when you return to university.
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